The sexual frustration before your first relationship.

  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 06, 2009 1:29 PM GMT
    Seriously! AAARRRGGHHH!!!
    icon_mad.gif

    Did you guys go through the same thing I'm going through.

    The suspense is killing me. Seriously it feels like every inch of my body is being choked, and not in a good way either!


    How eager were you/are you?
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    Nov 06, 2009 2:46 PM GMT
    lol, DanielH, I was very eager, so I used to use the right hand before going out.

    Really, it toned the eagerness down a notch and that way I could be a little more careful and choosy.

    -Doug
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 06, 2009 2:49 PM GMT
    Or I could just be a bitch and ignore your advice.

    I'd only have myself to blame though...if things did go wrong.


    icon_sad.gif



    I don't know what I want...

    You're probably right.
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 06, 2009 2:53 PM GMT



    On the other hand...
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    Nov 06, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    Oh gosh, DanielH, ignoring any advice I give you isn't being bitchy.

    lol, you're an adult, And I a boring Canadian.

    Why did the Canadian cross the road?

    To get to the median.

    Taking care of the 'eager drive' just meant I could think with the larger of two heads (if you get my drift). I still made some wrong choices, but less than some of my friends.
    And hey, it still took me til 34 to meet Bill.


  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 06, 2009 3:08 PM GMT
    meninlove said Oh gosh, DanielH, ignoring any advice I give you isn't being bitchy.

    lol, you're an adult, And I a boring Canadian.

    Why did the Canadian cross the road?

    To get to the median.

    Taking care of the 'eager drive' just meant I could think with the larger of two heads (if you get my drift). I still made some wrong choices, but less than some of my friends.
    And hey, it still took me til 34 to meet Bill.




    Lucky.
    Aw....
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:10 PM GMT
    meninlove saidlol, DanielH, I was very eager, so I used to use the right hand before going out.

    Really, it toned the eagerness down a notch and that way I could be a little more careful and choosy.

    -Doug


    Very good advice.

    You then find that some guys are not as hot and as interesting as you would have thought otherwise
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:15 PM GMT
    DanielH saidSeriously! AAARRRGGHHH!!!
    icon_mad.gif

    Did you guys go through the same thing I'm going through.

    The suspense is killing me. Seriously it feels like every inch of my body is being choked, and not in a good way either!


    How eager were you/are you?



    Can I choke you in a good way?
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 06, 2009 3:16 PM GMT
    makavelli said
    DanielH saidSeriously! AAARRRGGHHH!!!
    icon_mad.gif

    Did you guys go through the same thing I'm going through.

    The suspense is killing me. Seriously it feels like every inch of my body is being choked, and not in a good way either!


    How eager were you/are you?



    Can I choke you in a good way?


    rejected.gif

    I'm not into that game.
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    Nov 06, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    Haha. Everyone plays eventually.
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 06, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    makavelli saidHaha. Everyone plays eventually.


    icon_redface.gif
    oh bby oh bby?
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Dec 19, 2009 11:50 AM GMT
    Lol have a fuck Buddy to cool you down. Once the relationship is on, dump your FB's ass....oh I forgot He was never your Boyfriend to begin With icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 19, 2009 12:11 PM GMT
    Hey Daniel,

    Trust me, I know exactly what you are going through. I'm 23 and I knew I was gay for a long time and finally last year I decided to do something about it. I went for the non-local guys though. I met my first and only boyfriend (still together today) last June and he is from out of town. The distance sucks at times but I like him so much I dont care at all. I'm guessing you're not out and that is why you haven't met anyone yet? If so, just find someone there and keep it on the DL or meet someone out of town like I did. Good luck man
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    Dec 19, 2009 12:17 PM GMT
    meninlove saidlol, DanielH, I was very eager, so I used to use the right hand before going out.

    Really, it toned the eagerness down a notch and that way I could be a little more careful and choosy.

    -Doug

    If I did that just before going out there's a good chance I'd fall asleep, and never go out at all! LOL!

    Seriously, from my teens into my early 20s, I'd fall asleep so fast after cuming that I'm pretty sure my mother found me napping on my bed a few times with my hand still around my dick. I know I woke up that way quite often, uncovered and all or partly naked. icon_redface.gif

    I agree with your assessment, however, that the OP is "being choked" with sexual tension from raging hormones, perfectly normal at age 20, if unpleasant. And that is best resolved with a nice therapeutic orgasm. He just might need to adjust his personal timing, though, to allow enough recovery time before going out, so he isn't dragging ass. But his young batteries will recharge fast enough once he meets some hottie.

    And BTW, as usual I have a somewhat related anecdote of my own, that I'll post separately.
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    Dec 19, 2009 12:59 PM GMT
    The difference with my personal anecdote related to this thread, that I mentioned above, is that I was more than twice the OP’s age when it happened. But I don’t think I was any less horny.

    I came out of deep denial literally in a matter of a few hours. And by luck it coincided with a huge annual gay dinner-dance in Seattle the very next night. I attended it alone, and got so turned on I almost exploded in my pants, even getting painful “blue balls” for only the second time in my life. But I refused a number of offers, too unskilled and ignorant to dare try anything yet.

    I spent the next 3 weeks doing 3 things: jerking off almost constantly to some gay porn mags I bought, to relieve the tension; reading up all I could about gay sex and consulting with a gay online friend, who effectively became my mentor; and cruising local online gay sites for a guy to hook-up with.

    My first gay encounter with this guy I found online remains the most intense & enjoyable sex of my entire life. I went celibate for a few days before our scheduled rendezvous, just to make sure I was “topped off” and when I came with him it must truly have lasted for a solid minute. It simply wouldn’t stop, going on & on & on, one orgasmic wave following upon another.

    Thus began a horny phase like I had never known before in my entire life, that I had missed as a gay teen in denial, unable to be interested in girls, and not imagining myself to be interested in boys. Now I was interested like a cat in heat, finally realizing what young men like our OP can experience.

    I blazed a path through Seattle like you wouldn’t believe, and when I’d worn out Seattle (but not yet me), I visited South Florida to do it all over again (safely, thanks to my mentor’s stern warnings). But I actually knew, in the back of my mind, that this extreme reaction would only last between 6 to 12 months, as it eventually did. Still, it was fun to be outrageously horny once in my life, so long as I could do something about it, even if it was a condensed experience compressed into just a few months instead of years.

    “The suspense is killing me” writes the OP, and I can believe him. I can only hope the “helping hand” advice of meninlove will tide him over until some other hand is extended to him. The sweet pain of passion...
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    Dec 19, 2009 1:09 PM GMT
    buckeye7 saidHey Daniel,

    Trust me, I know exactly what you are going through. I'm 23 and I knew I was gay for a long time and finally last year I decided to do something about it. I went for the non-local guys though. I met my first and only boyfriend (still together today) last June and he is from out of town. The distance sucks at times but I like him so much I dont care at all. I'm guessing you're not out and that is why you haven't met anyone yet? If so, just find someone there and keep it on the DL or meet someone out of town like I did. Good luck man


    Very lucky BF!!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2009 1:33 PM GMT
    Gay or straight, the first time is always frustrating. My first (and to date only) relationship I developed with a guy was extremely frustrating. It took over the majority of my time, because it's all I can think about, being with him physically and not just sexually, having his presence around made me feel good. My mind was constantly distracted, my heart was virtually on stinging and so was my mind... it almost became numb. I couldn't bare it much longer and neither could he, although I'm the one of lesser experience.

    It didn't last and I have only myself to blame because I was not patience. I jumped into it too hastily. I found out later that what was thought to be monogamous between us was in fact just "casual dating". I didn't really know precisely what that meant at the time until I received a text message from him that was not intended to be sent to me. So it ended shortly after.

    It may choke you up right now, but it's better than being burn alive inside and then lose faith in dating with future guys. I'm not all bitter or twisted, but I definitely feel I am becoming jaded after only going through one hasty "relationship", if even that. I wore my heart on my sleeve because I was new and learning. The moral to my story is to step with cautions and be patience. If it's worth it, it'll be that much better when you are actually together after the long wait. It will be more graceful. You'll have more history to cherish later on in your relationship development.

    Personally, it was difficult for me because I have only recently come out to my close friends within the last year and a half. I also came out when I started dating him, because I did not feel the need to hide myself and be ashamed of who I was seeing. I made quite a bite of a sacrifice and took risk with him, which is why it hurt so much more when I ended it. I don't live a life where I deny my orientation. When and if approached or questioned, I tell. But I don't walk around with the stigma stapled to my forehead either. My orientation is not my identity but it definitely affects my forwardness in approaching a relationship and how I communicate with someone.

    Best of luck.
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    Mar 20, 2014 1:07 AM GMT
    Before my first "relationship" I said I wouldn't have sex until a few months or so. When that time, after a date we made out in his car outside of my apartment before he dropped me off, and one of us made a notion about oral sex. I got out of the car, paused for a second, got back into the car, and told him to park by the dumpster, since I believed it was a once and lifetime thing. icon_redface.gif That's the story of my first blowjob.

    However, I became uptight about sex later on and eventually he got frustrated with me, and later dumped me (we ended things when he stated that he wasn't the right guy for me and around that time I kept rejecting his PDA since I hate PDA). My friend said that he basically dropped me because I didn't put out.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Mar 20, 2014 2:26 AM GMT
    One-and-only frustration:

    Chicks don't know c*ap about BJ's !!