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Jokes...
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:21 PM GMT Need some cheering up over here in Newly Single Land... Any good Jokes out there? Music?

Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:25 PM GMT Q: How many feminist girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: That's womyn and that's not funny.
KissingPro Posts: 981	Nov 06, 2009 2:27 PM GMT How does a blonde practise safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:33 PM GMT How many Drag Queens does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. And she just holds the bulb while the world revolves around her.
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:39 PM GMT check out this forum, too... http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/449070/
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:41 PM GMT StudlyScrewRite said How many Drag Queens does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. And she just holds the bulb while the world revolves around her. Best laugh of my day, thanks! Known many, many drag queens, a joke funny for it's truth. Mind if I steal it? (Well, I will anyway)
DanielH Posts: 450	Nov 06, 2009 2:44 PM GMT
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:44 PM GMT Stud-ish Sam got mugged in an alley. "Take off your clothes" said the mugger. Stud-ish Sam did. "Now lie on them" said the mugger. Stud-ish Sam did. "Now roll onto your stomach" said the mugger. Stud-ish Sam did. "Now spread your legs" said the mugger. Stud-ish Sam did. Then the mugger jumped on Stud-ish Sam and he then felt a strange sensation 'down there'. Stud-ish Sam laughed and laughed; because he'd safely hid his money in his shoe.....
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:44 PM GMT What's the difference between a tick and a IRS lawyer? A tick will stop sucking your blood once you are dead. What's the difference between a Citi-bank Manager and a pigeon? A pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW. What's the difference between a Lady Gaga mask and Lady Gaga ? The mask is harder to get on your face. What's the difference between a Pygmy Tribe that is acrobatic and all-female track team? One is a cunning bunch of runts.......
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:48 PM GMT StudlyScrewRite said What's the difference between a tick and a IRS lawyer? A tick will stop sucking your blood once you are dead. Why limit it to a lawyer with the IRS only? (Funny, BTW)
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:55 PM GMT How can you tell that a blonde has been using your notebook (laptop) ? There are erasure marks all over the screen.
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 2:59 PM GMT What do you call a lesbian north of the 49th parallel? A Klon-dyke.
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 3:02 PM GMT A young nun is walking in the woods near her convent - head bowed - deeply into prayer, when a man jumps her, pulling her into the brush. He strips her and has his way with her. Afterward, the nun is dressing to hurry back to the church to find a priest and tell about what happened. The man asks her if she is really going to talk about it.....and what will she say? The nun said, "I'm going to tell the truth......which is that I was walking in the woods, deeply in prayer, when you pulled me into the bushes and raped me for an hour........TWO hours, if you're not too tired!"
B71115 Posts: 247	Nov 06, 2009 3:55 PM GMT Gay dude to his boyfriend: Have you been having sex behind my back? Boyfriend: Well, who the hell else did you think it was?
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 4:13 PM GMT SurfnAsian said Music?
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 4:29 PM GMT Whats the difference between having sex with a woman and getting photographed in a speed trap? In one case you knew beforehand, there'd be a cunt behind the bush.
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 7:17 PM GMT Scientist have discovered whats in the air in SF thats keeping the birth rate down All the guys legs. Q: how cum so many men in SF can move with a moments notice? A: Their shit is already packed. Q: Why did the blond spend the day staring @ a bottle of orange juice? A: the label read "CONCENTRATE!"
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 7:19 PM GMT Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
mynyun Posts: 205	Nov 06, 2009 8:08 PM GMT StudlyScrewRite said What's the difference between a Pygmy Tribe that is acrobatic and all-female track team? One is a cunning bunch of runts....... That is just wrong. But SO SO SO funny.! I had a good laugh over it.
Hidden member	Nov 06, 2009 8:13 PM GMT Q: What's the different between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.
RIFFRyder Posts: 81	Nov 06, 2009 8:20 PM GMT Ummmm... What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead hooker? I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage. What has 120 teeth and holds back The Incredible Hulk? My Zipper I know.... lame. All I could think of for right now. Bored at work... Blah! Some of these are keeping me entertained tho. Lol Keep them coming.
Hidden member	Nov 08, 2009 12:20 AM GMT thanks for the replys guys.. some of them made me laugh and have put a smile on my face...
Celticmusl Posts: 981	Nov 08, 2009 12:35 AM GMT What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A lick-her cabinet.
JP85257 Posts: 398	Nov 08, 2009 1:01 AM GMT How many Jewish Mothers does it take to change a light bulb? "No...Its fine. I'll just sit here alone. In the dark. Like a Dog. Im fine."
JP85257 Posts: 398	Nov 08, 2009 1:02 AM GMT gibby320 said Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! What does a LESBIAN horse eat? HEY!
Celticmusl Posts: 981	Nov 08, 2009 1:06 AM GMT I'm sure some will say it's too soon, and I enjoyed Michael as an entertainer, but: Why was Mr Potato Head jealous of Michael Jackson? Because Michael had more noses.
creature Posts: 324	Nov 08, 2009 1:41 AM GMT Two blondes in an elevator notice the dandruff on a man's suit as he gets in. They say nothing to him. As soon as the gentleman steps off, the first blonde turns to her friend and says, "I think we should give him Head & Shoulders." The second blonde replies, "All right, but how do we give him shoulders?" In the middle of the night, three friends riding in a car down a country road run out of gas. Fortunately the car has come to a stop not too far from a farm. The three friends ask the farmer if he could put them up for the night. The farmer escorts them to his barn. Inside the barn, the wall is draped with a curtain. "You can sleep in the barn, but under no circumstance are you to peek behind the curtain," he says. A couple of hours later, the boys are unable to sleep, curious about what is behind the curtain. Assuming the farmer must be asleep by now, they decide to take a peek. Lo and behold — there are hundreds of penises hanging on the wall. Just as they get over the initial shock, the farmer barges in. "A-ha! I caught you looking behind the curtain. Now I'm going to add each of yours to my collection." The farmer turns to the first boy and asks, "What does your father do for a living?" The young man replies, "My father is a hunter." The farmer grabs a rifle and shoots off the first boy's dick and hangs it on the wall. "What does your father do for a living" he asks the second one. "My father is a butcher" says the second friend. The farmer takes hold of a butcher's knife and slices his dick and puts it on his wall. Ready to hang the third dick, the farmer asks the third friend, "What does your father do for a living?" With a smirk on his face, the young man responds, "My father is a lollipop maker. It looks like you'll have to suck mine off."
Hidden member	Nov 08, 2009 1:49 AM GMT How do you make a dead baby float? a)Take your foot off of it's head. b)A blender, two scoops of dead baby, and a glass of root beer.
Fountains Posts: 176	Nov 08, 2009 1:59 AM GMT How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because the wife always gets the house.
center Posts: 132	Nov 08, 2009 2:02 AM GMT How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her like an altar boy. I will probably get in trouble for this, but... Why were there only ten thousand Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car.
Hidden member	Nov 08, 2009 5:33 AM GMT Spam, table for one.
Matia79 Posts: 154	Nov 08, 2009 5:36 AM GMT Three nuns are driving in the mountains of Europe to reach a remote town for some relief work. Unfortunately the car slips off the mountain side and the three are instantly killed. The nuns reach the Pearly Gates of Heaven and see St. Peter standing before them with a large bowl filled with water in front of him. The nuns approach and St. Peter tells them, "Before you enter the gates of Heaven you must purify yourselves. If any part of your body has been in contact with the genitals of a man, you must first dip it into the Holy Water before you." The first nun steps up and dips her finger in the water. A white light surrounds her and a beautiful sound of singing is heard. She passes through the the Pearly Gates into Heaven. The second nun steps up...but before she can the third nun pushes her out of the way and says to St. Peter, "OH HELL NO! If you think I'm gonna' gargle after she sits in that, you got another thing comin'!"
charlitos Posts: 2665	Nov 08, 2009 8:06 AM GMT Q: What is long and can start soft then it gets hard, also it drives some crazy yellow AND white liquid across the center of its cilindrical shape, it's main function is to give pleasure and its purple? A: Nothing
jrs1 Posts: 1474	Nov 08, 2009 8:21 AM GMT StudlyScrewRite said How many Drag Queens does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. And she just holds the bulb while the world revolves around her. ... someone say " drag queens? " werk
Hidden member	Nov 08, 2009 8:43 AM GMT charlitos saidQ: What is long and can start soft then it gets hard, also it drives some crazy yellow AND white liquid across the center of its cilindrical shape, it's make function is to give pleasure and its purple? A: Nothing You are insane. I less than three you.
jc_online Posts: 406	Nov 08, 2009 11:32 AM GMT A blonde calls her boyfriend and says "Please come over here and help me! I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it started!" Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." She sound really distraught, so her boyfriend goes over to help. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then turns to her and says "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he sighs, "Let's put all the frosted flakes back in the box."
Hidden member	Nov 08, 2009 12:18 PM GMT Q: What does a dog do on three legs that a man does standing up and a woman does sitting down? A: Shake hands.
wrestlervic Posts: 748	Nov 08, 2009 2:45 PM GMT Ganymede0 saidHow do you make a dead baby float? a)Take your foot off of it's head. b)A blender, two scoops of dead baby, and a glass of root beer. Oh my god, I haven't heard dead baby jokes since I was a kid 30 years ago! Here's one I remember: Q. What's grosser than a barrel full of dead babies? A. A barrel full of dead babies with a live one eating its way out. Must goggle origin of "dead baby" jokes
Hidden member	Nov 09, 2009 11:20 AM GMT meninlove said Spam, table for one. hey now....I'm from Hawaii... and we grew up on Spam... after all its one of our isle headings in supermarkets.... AND we have cookbooks on it too... but yeah I get this one all the time...."you eat Spam?"
Cyber_Chocola... Posts: 24	Nov 09, 2009 11:32 AM GMT Ok..I love Michael too but: Q; Why did Michael Jackson rush to the Department Store? A: Because the ad said: Boys Pants, Half Off!!
Hidden member	Nov 09, 2009 11:32 AM GMT wrestlervic said Ganymede0 saidHow do you make a dead baby float? a)Take your foot off of it's head. b)A blender, two scoops of dead baby, and a glass of root beer. Oh my god, I haven't heard dead baby jokes since I was a kid 30 years ago! Here's one I remember: Q. What's grosser than a barrel full of dead babies? A. A barrel full of dead babies with a live one eating its way out. Must goggle origin of "dead baby" jokes What's worse than that? He went back for seconds.
Hidden member	Nov 09, 2009 12:01 PM GMT wrestlervic said Ganymede0 saidHow do you make a dead baby float? a)Take your foot off of it's head. b)A blender, two scoops of dead baby, and a glass of root beer. Oh my god, I haven't heard dead baby jokes since I was a kid 30 years ago! Here's one I remember: Q. What's grosser than a barrel full of dead babies? A. A barrel full of dead babies with a live one eating its way out. I am going to hell for this, but.... Q: What's grosser than ten dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Hidden member	Nov 10, 2009 12:26 AM GMT Q: why do hookers make more money than drug dealers? A: because they can wash their crack and use it again.
Hidden member	Nov 10, 2009 12:45 AM GMT gibby320 said Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Q: What do three gay horses eat? A: Hay Hay Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Q: Who feeds the gay horses? A: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay GURL!!!

Hidden member	Nov 11, 2009 1:07 PM GMT ^^^^^^^ IIIIIIIIII classic one above .... LOL heard it before, but not the last part...