FORUMS > Sexual Health Forum Rules

Important question about prostate cancer

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 06, 2009 5:35 PM GMT
    I will get to my question in a bit but there is a lot of talk lately about prostate cancer. Articles are showing up in major newspapers. At any given time, there are 200,000 men walking around that don’t know they have it. According to facts, if a man lives long enough he will have prostate cancer. Even getting it, most likely you will die of either old age or another disease unless, of course, it is aggressive. I have been diagnosed with having it and I am weighing all the procedures available or do a Watchful/Waiting for a while to see how I am with a new PSA test.

    The consequences of removing the prostate are a major concern – incontinence, both urine and bowl and erectile dysfunction. There are guys that choose doing nothing for quality of life over being subjected to the aforementioned and living the rest of their life in a bathroom and no longer having a social life. With this said, here is a very important question that I asked my urologist and he had no answer. He looked very surprised when I asked the following and said that it was certainly an important question. I wanted to know if when the prostate was removed, would there be any feeling in that area. This is a major and important question for gay men because of anal sex. Since the urologist had no answer, I attended my first prostate cancer support meeting the other night. All the men there were straight. I boldly asked them that since their prostates were removed, did they have any feeling in that area. They all looked surprised by my question and said, “Why do I care about any feeling in that area?” I could sense the immediate defensive attitude by my asking. I said calmly that any form of massaging of the prostate would make a man sexually aroused. One immediately said in an agitated tone, “Well, I am not the least bit interested or about to have my prostate area massaged.” Their ignorance was amusing. How any man can go through life and know little about parts of his body is surprising. Their responses clearly showed me that all they thought the prostate did was be sort of responsible for urine cutoff and to shoot semen and nothing more. To further my question, does anyone know if there is feeling in the area where the prostate once was? This will obviously have to be answered by someone who has had their prostate removed or perhaps, a gay doctor that is a member of the forum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 29, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    Well, gee! I did this post sometime ago and I am surprised that no one has commented or has had any thoughts on this matter. I have decided that all YOU GIRLS think that only REAL MEN get prostate cancer and it doesn’t apply to you. You just might get it and have to have your prostate removed and end up dead down there. Your fucking days will be over. Of course, you can lie there and eat bonbons while your partner is screwing you and say, “When you are through, do you want to have a pizza and watch a movie?”
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 29, 2009 7:21 PM GMT
    LOL this is a fucking riot. Not the subject matter, but the stark contrast in tone bw the first post and the second. That'll be a sure way to get legitimate responses...insult the whole community! Idiot.

    This seems like a fake post anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 29, 2009 7:32 PM GMT
    It got your attention, yo-yo. I suggest you take the matter more seriously. Fake post, my ass. You need to read more on health issues and spend less time on gay porno sites.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 29, 2009 7:45 PM GMT
    A 64 year old picture-less with an anger issue.

    Almost every man will get prostate cancer if he lives long enough. Many folks in their elder years live with it, as it is very slow moving. With early detection, prostate cancer is almost always not fatal. In fact, my dad has been dealing with prostate cancer for years now, as did his late brother.

    There's some thought that low testosterone to estrogen ratios cause the issue. Others feel it's the presence of androgen. Most folks who begin HRT early seem to have a protection from it. Testosterone has many benefits, and, especially at 64, if you aren't taking it, you likely should be.

    I'd suggest researching this at http://www.cancer.org (The American Cancer Society) rather than lashing out at folks on RealJock.com. I think you'll find that if you direct your query at the appropriate resource you'll be much more successful towards your end goal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 29, 2009 7:52 PM GMT
    markthespot saidI will get to my question in a bit but there is a lot of talk lately about prostate cancer. Articles are showing up in major newspapers. At any given time, there are 200,000 men walking around that don’t know they have it. According to facts, if a man lives long enough he will have prostate cancer. Even getting it, most likely you will die of either old age or another disease unless, of course, it is aggressive. I have been diagnosed with having it and I am weighing all the procedures available or do a Watchful/Waiting for a while to see how I am with a new PSA test.

    The consequences of removing the prostate are a major concern – incontinence, both urine and bowl and erectile dysfunction. There are guys that choose doing nothing for quality of life over being subjected to the aforementioned and living the rest of their life in a bathroom and no longer having a social life. With this said, here is a very important question that I asked my urologist and he had no answer. He looked very surprised when I asked the following and said that it was certainly an important question. I wanted to know if when the prostate was removed, would there be any feeling in that area. This is a major and important question for gay men because of anal sex. Since the urologist had no answer, I attended my first prostate cancer support meeting the other night. All the men there were straight. I boldly asked them that since their prostates were removed, did they have any feeling in that area. They all looked surprised by my question and said, “Why do I care about any feeling in that area?” I could sense the immediate defensive attitude by my asking. I said calmly that any form of massaging of the prostate would make a man sexually aroused. One immediately said in an agitated tone, “Well, I am not the least bit interested or about to have my prostate area massaged.” Their ignorance was amusing. How any man can go through life and know little about parts of his body is surprising. Their responses clearly showed me that all they thought the prostate did was be sort of responsible for urine cutoff and to shoot semen and nothing more. To further my question, does anyone know if there is feeling in the area where the prostate once was? This will obviously have to be answered by someone who has had their prostate removed or perhaps, a gay doctor that is a member of the forum.


    In “The Ups and Downs of Gay Sex After Prostate Cancer Treatment,” Steven Goldstone, MD, addresses practical questions regarding gay sex after a man has been treated for prostate cancer. He also addresses some of the concerns of the partners of gay man with prostate cancer. Dr. Goldstone offers the reader a practical and matter of fact primer of what may happen during and what to do after prostate cancer treatment.

    http://www.malecare.com/gay-prostate-cancer_68.htm. This may help you. I very informative sight that addresses your concerns and many links and suggested readings.


  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 29, 2009 9:27 PM GMT
    Thanks, chuckystud and deimos66329. See, guys, it isn’t so tuff to make a response. Chuckystud, you make a good point but it really is unwise to ignore one having prostate cancer. You need to find out if it is aggressive and if it is, you damn well better do something about it. Men at a certain age, around 70 at times can ignore having it because likely they will die of another disease. Normally, it is a slow growing disease. My question was originally a very important one. I sent an email to a gay doctor on his site that said he would respond to all questions. Well, I am still waiting. I sent another note and no response. This is why I decided to post on this forum, thinking someone might have an answer.

    Deimos66329, welcome to the forum and thank you for your suggestion, as well as input on the subject.

    No need, deebram (d-brain) for your snide and ignorant remarks. If you haven’t got anything positive or worthwhile to say, keep it in your pants.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 29, 2009 9:34 PM GMT
    markthespot saidThanks, chuckystud and deimos66329. See, guys, it isn’t so tuff to make a response. Chuckystud, you make a good point but it really is unwise to ignore one having prostate cancer. You need to find out if it is aggressive and if it is, you damn well better do something about it. Men at a certain age, around 70 at times can ignore having it because likely they will die of another disease. Normally, it is a slow growing disease. My question was originally a very important one. I sent an email to a gay doctor on his site that said he would respond to all questions. Well, I am still waiting. I sent another note and no response. This is why I decided to post on this forum, thinking someone might have an answer.

    Deimos66329, welcome to the forum and thank you for your suggestion, as well as input on the subject.

    No need, deebram (d-brain) for your snide and ignorant remarks. If you haven’t got anything positive or worthwhile to say, keep it in your pants.


    You might wish to try another venue, as I suggested.
  • QUOTE Aug 16, 2010 9:18 AM GMT
    I am late in posting but think this is an important issue too.

    The thought of losing or reducing the power tool is pretty shockingicon_eek.gifhttp://assets.rjstatic.com/images/global/icon_eek.gif

    Talking to doctors is best but you normally get the "standard" responses of treatment and surgery, etc, ignoring what caused it in the first place.

    I researched allot and belong to yahoo groups where other researchers discuss options.

    My PSA was rising but not too high of a score so I have been experiementing with herbal remidies. I find that testorsterone can be converted to a bad hormone called DHT in older men. Thats why doctors typically prescribe testosterone blockers to treat cancer. Instead, I have been on a couple of estrogen blockers that some what help reduce the DHT. I stopped taking the androgen suppliments as well. I am over due for a PSA check up, but will post again when I have results. So far I have stalled the previous increasing PSA scores. I have allot more info too, but too tired to write anymore, lolls.

    sorry for the bad spelling.

    ED
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Aug 16, 2010 11:49 PM GMT
    There is a great gay men's prostate group on Yahoo:

    prostatecancerandgaymen@yahoogroups.com

    the guys on there will answer anything. Even straight guys belong because gay men talk so much more openly about sexual stuff.

  • QUOTE Aug 17, 2010 5:39 AM GMT
    Yeah, most of the stuff I learned was from belonging to the yahoo groups,
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Aug 17, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    My indirect experiences with prostate cancer:

    A friend and sometimes bedmate got prostate cancer in 2005 at 70. His urologist recommended total removal of the prostate, which he got. It left him incontinent and impotent. Even my mouth couldn't get a rise out of him. His dick is dead.

    My current partner got prostate cancer in 2004. His urologist recommended radioactive seed implants. His cancer is gone, his PSA blood readings are lower than mine, and he is fully functional sexually. Plus no incontinence, really no change in him in any way, except he basically shoots blanks now. He is not a bottom, so I can't answer that part of your question.

    My father got prostate cancer in his 70s. He stalled with getting any treatment, and by the time he finally did, it was too late. The cancer had metastasized to his bones, and he was doomed. A heart attack actually killed him, but he was told the cancer would take him in a few months anyway. And it wasn't pleasant or easy for him.

    With something like cancer always get a second opinion, but act quickly & aggressively. Prostate cancer is USUALLY relatively slow acting, and some doctors recommend a more conservative approach with most forms of it in older men. The thought is they'll die from other causes before the cancer, so why reduce their quality of life. Instead, it's closely monitored and a surgical approach is only used when absolutely necessary.

    If this is about yourself, then at your age, and mine (61) I think the seed implant should be discussed with your doctor. For myself I would resist surgical removal of any part of the prostate. But that is dependent upon the extent of the cancer, and what a biopsy reveals about its nature. If it's an aggressive form, there may be few options.
  • nicepecs Posts: 3
    QUOTE Apr 01, 2011 12:59 AM GMT
    II'm responding to this on March 31, 2011. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer after 3 years of monitoring my blood work. My PSA level jumped from 4.4 to 12.2 over 3 years. My second biopsy came back positive for the presence of cancer. I had a Gleason score of 6 which is an intermediate growing cancer. I met with one of the top radiologists in the country who recommended I have it removed. I was 52 at the time. Radiation is reserved mostly for older guys who will out live the cancer. If they radiate and don't get it on the first go around, they have to remove the prostate and both nerve bundles that control erections. I decided to have DaVinci Robotic Surgery in Miami in Nov, 2011. The road has been rough. Four months later I now have 98% bladder control but still wear protective pads to the gym. Straining causes me to leak maybe a teaspoons worth of piss. Of course there is no more semen. I can reach an orgasm but I have to use a medical vacuum pump to achieve a firm erection. Or I can jerk off a soft penis. It can be done, it just takes time and concentration. I've used Cialis alone but no luck. I was told not to expect much of an erection until 8 to 12 months. I use the pump 6 days a week to keep the blood vessels active or I will loose the ability to ever get an erection again.

    Doctor said I should not attempt anal sex for at least 8 months for fear of doing internal damage to where my urethra is re-attached to my bladder. I'm very interested to know if anal sex will ever be enjoyable again. Yes, I'm gay. It's bad enough loosing the visual of seeing semen shooting out of me, but loosing the enjoyment of anal sex will just be a cruel joke. There are 219,000 new prostate cancer paitents each year and 33,000 of those men die from not getting checked or finding out too late. Moral of the story, get your PSA levels checked. I just found out about my level by acciident. I had no symptoms. I was having routine blood work and my PSA was slightly elevated. Hope this helps anyone going through what I've been through.
  • DanOmatic Posts: 1155
    QUOTE Apr 01, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    Hey Nicepecs, thanks for the candid response on here. I'm really sorry that you're going through all that (and sorry as well for the other posters who have also had to contend with the negative side effects of prostate cancer treatment).

    My dad is still suffering from the aftermath of radiation treatment for his prostate cancer. It's very disheartening to see, though he keeps a stiff upper lip about it (typical issues: incontinence, loose bowels, and I'm sure some serious sexual side effects, though probably less so than if he had had it removed).

    Good luck with everything, Nicepecs, and good luck to the OP.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 01, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    nicepecs saidII'm responding to this on March 31, 2011. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer after 3 years of monitoring my blood work. My PSA level jumped from 4.4 to 12.2 over 3 years. My second biopsy came back positive for the presence of cancer. I had a Gleason score of 6 which is an intermediate growing cancer. I met with one of the top radiologists in the country who recommended I have it removed. I was 52 at the time. Radiation is reserved mostly for older guys who will out live the cancer. If they radiate and don't get it on the first go around, they have to remove the prostate and both nerve bundles that control erections. I decided to have DaVinci Robotic Surgery in Miami in Nov, 2011. The road has been rough. Four months later I now have 98% bladder control but still wear protective pads to the gym. Straining causes me to leak maybe a teaspoons worth of piss. Of course there is no more semen. I can reach an orgasm but I have to use a medical vacuum pump to achieve a firm erection. Or I can jerk off a soft penis. It can be done, it just takes time and concentration. I've used Cialis alone but no luck. I was told not to expect much of an erection until 8 to 12 months. I use the pump 6 days a week to keep the blood vessels active or I will loose the ability to ever get an erection again.

    Doctor said I should not attempt anal sex for at least 8 months for fear of doing internal damage to where my urethra is re-attached to my bladder. I'm very interested to know if anal sex will ever be enjoyable again. Yes, I'm gay. It's bad enough loosing the visual of seeing semen shooting out of me, but loosing the enjoyment of anal sex will just be a cruel joke. There are 219,000 new prostate cancer paitents each year and 33,000 of those men die from not getting checked or finding out too late. Moral of the story, get your PSA levels checked. I just found out about my level by acciident. I had no symptoms. I was having routine blood work and my PSA was slightly elevated. Hope this helps anyone going through what I've been through.

    Sorry about your diagnosis. Good luck with the surgery. I went the radiation and hormone blocker treatment route. Blogged my experience on RJ: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/150050

    This is a great gay men's prostate cancer support group online: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/prostatecancerandgaymen/ I definitely recommend you join the site and chat with the guys on there about the surgery and what to expect afterwards. There are guys from all over the world on there. Kinda interesting to hear about the treatments in other countries. There are also straight men on there....cuz gay men talk more openly and candidly about it...esp the sexual side effects ... hahahahaha

    Oh the only up side to all this is more intense orgasms.
  • Anto Posts: 2035
    QUOTE Apr 02, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    Just some new info about the PSA testing:
    3/31/2011 - Prostate cancer test doesn't cut death risk, longest study finds
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 02, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    nicepecs saidII'm responding to this on March 31, 2011. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer after 3 years of monitoring my blood work. My PSA level jumped from 4.4 to 12.2 over 3 years. My second biopsy came back positive for the presence of cancer. I had a Gleason score of 6 which is an intermediate growing cancer. I met with one of the top radiologists in the country who recommended I have it removed. I was 52 at the time. Radiation is reserved mostly for older guys who will out live the cancer. If they radiate and don't get it on the first go around, they have to remove the prostate and both nerve bundles that control erections. I decided to have DaVinci Robotic Surgery in Miami in Nov, 2011. The road has been rough. Four months later I now have 98% bladder control but still wear protective pads to the gym. Straining causes me to leak maybe a teaspoons worth of piss. Of course there is no more semen. I can reach an orgasm but I have to use a medical vacuum pump to achieve a firm erection. Or I can jerk off a soft penis. It can be done, it just takes time and concentration. I've used Cialis alone but no luck. I was told not to expect much of an erection until 8 to 12 months. I use the pump 6 days a week to keep the blood vessels active or I will loose the ability to ever get an erection again.

    Doctor said I should not attempt anal sex for at least 8 months for fear of doing internal damage to where my urethra is re-attached to my bladder. I'm very interested to know if anal sex will ever be enjoyable again. Yes, I'm gay. It's bad enough loosing the visual of seeing semen shooting out of me, but loosing the enjoyment of anal sex will just be a cruel joke. There are 219,000 new prostate cancer paitents each year and 33,000 of those men die from not getting checked or finding out too late. Moral of the story, get your PSA levels checked. I just found out about my level by acciident. I had no symptoms. I was having routine blood work and my PSA was slightly elevated. Hope this helps anyone going through what I've been through.



    omg, that's horrible! icon_sad.gif I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish you a speedy, painless, and victorious battle with cancer. *hug*
    Two hugging smileys
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 02, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    Anto saidJust some new info about the PSA testing:
    3/31/2011 - Prostate cancer test doesn't cut death risk, longest study finds

    So what do they want you to do? Sit around until your bones hurt cuz the cancer has already metastasized?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Apr 02, 2011 12:41 AM GMT
    Dont omit mentioning the relative finger length and testosterone exposure in the womb vis-a-vis prostate cancer.

    "...The relative length of index and ring fingers is set before birth, and is thought to relate to the levels of sex hormones the baby is exposed to in the womb. Less testosterone equates to a longer index finger; the researchers now believe that being exposed to less testosterone before birth helps protect against prostate cancer later in life. The phenomenon is thought to occur because the genes HOXA and HOXD control both finger length and development of sex organs. ..."

    http://www.newsucanuse.org/content/finger-length-points-prostate-cancer-risk
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE May 02, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    An original question on this thread was: when the prostate was removed, would there be any feeling in that area? Later restated: “..very interested to know if anal sex will ever be enjoyable [following RP]. I’m anxious to get to the Yahoo group myself, but in advance of that, here’s my experience… I'm 52 and had RP 3 mths ago. So far has been, I’ve found that it can be more pleasurable than before. I learned elsewhere that a "new" set of nerves get linked up in body in the area where prostate used to exist. Some may be part of the nerve bundle servicing the bladder sphincter which controls the passing of urine. The combination in the ejaculation makes it feel as an orgasm. Thus, orgasmic sensation does not require a prostate. It would have been so nice to hear pre-surgery, from someone who had been through it, that this pleasant news was possible. I have also been experiencing “climacturia” (urine on climax), with multiple and extended climaxes that go on for several minutes. Now I have a new use for condoms.
  • john0089 Posts: 1
    QUOTE Oct 23, 2011 12:58 PM GMT
    any problem regarding your penis will be solve at http://tinyurl.com/3derf25
  • randsboy Posts: 3
    QUOTE Nov 09, 2011 10:34 PM GMT
    The question as to "is there any feeling after the removal of the prostate" is a simple one. If during the removal the surgion is able to preserve one or both nerves in the prostate area, then Yes, there can be feeling. My partner has had His prostate removed due to cancer and the doc was only able to save one nerve during the removal. That one nerve has allowed the two of us to still have great sex. It is still two sided, even though he has to use a special compound via needle to get it up. And get it up and sensativity is very relavent as it stays up 2-4 hours depending on how much is used. His penis head is very sensative and in His words, when looking at various sites on line, Gets Him very horny. I do not believe this would at all be possible if both nerves had been lost during surgery, which apparently many of the group you visited had no understanding of and so due to the lack of a nerve had no concept of sensativity after prostate surgery and for them appears to have become a one way experience for the other participant, and not for them. Thier defensiveness screems ignorance and the fact that they did not have a talk with thier urologist about the possiblity of saving that all important nerve, but instead were only concerned with the removal of a cansorus organ, and therefore lost that ability to feel what they now miss in a sexual act with thier wife/mistress/concubine so to speak.icon_redface.gif

    If feeling in your penis is a concern for you, be sure to ask if there is any possiblity of saving any of the nerves during the surgery and find out everything you can do to help. My partner and i had this conversation and were glad we did. And yes, this particular Urologist and His male nurses are hot and stimulating, not to meantion very friendly.icon_wink.gif

    However if the presevation is not of any importance then you may as well become a eunich and live without that feeling you had for so very long and enjoyed prior to its removal for cancer.icon_lol.gif

    By the way, He has been cancer free to this day and sex is fun for Him, alot of fun.icon_lol.gif
  • randsboy Posts: 3
    QUOTE Nov 09, 2011 10:41 PM GMT
    By the way, I have even been able to get Him off on occasion by sucking just right. This is no joke and not a joking matter. It is real and unless you are active as part of the how, then the why does not matter. Happy and positive feeling to those for whom thier doc was able to save an all important nerve during surgery. Keep it real!!!icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 12, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    The wonderful arousing sensation arising from a prostate rub stems from the sacral plexus innervation, not the prostate gland. Providing these nerves remain intact, the sensory stimulation should remain.
  • Merkodg Posts: 5
    QUOTE Dec 08, 2011 11:06 PM GMT
    hmm ... cognitive facts I read here ...