Can You Be Serious About Dating Someone Under 21?

  • Nospam

    Posts: 15

    Nov 06, 2009 8:41 PM GMT
    I recently was approached by someone who was under 21. I didn't know it at first....Then he told me.

    I was very surprised...to say the least!! Not looking, or has It ever been my thing!!!! EVER!!!

    One thing that also surprised that compared to guys closer to my age...he was sweeter, more romantic, and someone who I would consider being serious with!! He is soooo at ease with Himself...Totally comfortable in his own skin.

    Not to mention he has got a great body (DAYUM)....But there is much more to him.


    I'm not sure if it's because he is from the South, or because he is so young. Some older guys that have had bad previous relationships tend to build up wall, even to the point that they are kinda mean. The total opposite of him.

    He is more comfortable with the age thing than I have been.

    We kinda had a fight yesterday about the age thing.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 06, 2009 8:43 PM GMT
    No offense to anyone under 21, but I would not feel comfortable. I'm too old for that kind of thing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 8:46 PM GMT
    I´m not saying never, but they´d have to be pretty amazingly exceptional (and hot) ha

    icon_smile.gif
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Nov 06, 2009 8:49 PM GMT
    It might not help to focus on his age. I'd focus more on compatibility... if the two of you have that, then have a great time!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:01 PM GMT
    Personally I wouldn't advise it, of course I can't speak for everyone my age. I'm often attracted to people older than I am, and have acted upon it in the past.. to discover I wasn't quite able to settle down, despite my desire to. Guys in their late teens and early twenties I believe do a lot of evolving in a short period of time, many of those changes occuring and another one arising. If you're compatible have fun and try, it never hurts, but you'd naturally have a lot to discuss if you wanted to become serious.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:01 PM GMT
    I made the grave mistake of falling for someone under 21. two years later the person he made him out to sound like to me was a big lie. in the end all I got out of it was feeling like an idiot for not being smarter at the start. sure they might seem sweeter or more romantic but in the end its mostly a big game. not saying this is true for every boy under 21 but im quite sure it is for most.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:03 PM GMT
    Way too young for me. If it's your thing go for it.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 06, 2009 9:17 PM GMT
    In America, no. If this was outside of the US where most people gain all legal rights and societal privileges between 16-18, then yes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:17 PM GMT
    Most guys that age seem so foreign to me. I mention something and they don't have a clue what i am talking about. For example, I mention a type writer in a joke. A blank stare. Or I mention Conjunction Junction or how a Bill becomes a law. Blank stare. I am just generalizing, but it feels like we are from two different worlds.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:36 PM GMT
    Mature people are mature.
    Immature people are mature.

    Age, really, is something else entirely. If you are not sexually attracted to young looking guys, skip him. But, if you are sexually attracted and he is mature enough for you, go for it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:39 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with dating someone younger. It keeps you young and alive too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:42 PM GMT
    No.
    You cannot do anything, clubs/bars etc., with someone under the age of 21 in america.
    If you go to an all ages club you will end up feeling like a fish out of water because everyone there is 14-17-some 18..... I felt awkward being there myself- and I was 22 at the time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 9:42 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidMature people are mature.
    Immature people are mature.

    Age, really, is something else entirely. If you are not sexually attracted to young looking guys, skip him. But, if you are sexually attracted and he is mature enough for you, go for it.


    Ditto!,Also watch out for the fake people...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 11:03 PM GMT
    Hmm the dude might have a daddy fetish thing going on, and may also want you to be his sugar daddy... Might want to be careful with that.

    I'm not saying it can't happen. I know this 17 year old gay kid who is in love with a friend of mine who is 34. The kid is pretty mature and wise for his age, and serious about the work he wants. Some young people are like that, as I know some older people who behave like 15 year olds.

    They're not having sex although it is legal in NY. The kid was worried about being rejected because of his age. He gave a pretty interesting argument in why he feels the way he does for my friend.

    1. Obviously he feels he's attractive. He went into very deep detail about it, even stating how he thought the gray hairs in his stubble were beautiful to him. And went on saying how he loves the way he smells, what it makes him feel.

    2. He's attracted, and fascinated by his experience, and wisdom as well as his strength. He also felt bad about some of the things my friend was going through, and wanted to be the one to take care of him.

    The kid doesn't have a daddy fetish, because fetishes are basically about sex. He could easily go some place and have a bunch of older guys bang the hell out of him, but the kid is a virgin and says he wants my friend to be the guy he well you get the idea.

    He works hard, wants to join the military so its not like he's looking for someone to baby him.

    So I'm not saying it can't happen even though you may hear a lot of the horror stories. Just be careful, have to use good judgment.

    Oh and if you guys are truly in love, it aint about going to bars and clubs. I don't think couple should be doing it up in the gay clubs or bars anyway. Do other things for fun.
  • me35mtl

    Posts: 306

    Nov 06, 2009 11:07 PM GMT
    in all honestly, i'd love to give the 21 year old credit for being mature, but i doubt it will last..eitehr they lose interest fast or they will develop a need to experience more which is normal for a 21 yo..
    If you go ahead with this id be pretty cautious and just go slow...

    For me i would kill to meet someone my age..its not about attraction..its about being on the same path of life..im tired of meeting guys at the cross roads.. Either the guy is older and would look at my life saying been there done that or me interested in someone younger and me saying been there done that ..

    Eventually it gets frustrating for both..


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 06, 2009 11:19 PM GMT
    For me, 21 is waaaaay too young. For me, it's about where both of us are in life. They haven't lived life yet. They may think they have, and they may come across as mature and the like, but they haven't experienced nearly as much as I have. Heck, Im 30, and I still have alot to expeience.

    But if it trips your trigger, go for it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2009 3:26 AM GMT
    Balljunkie saidMost guys that age seem so foreign to me. I mention something and they don't have a clue what i am talking about. For example, I mention a type writer in a joke. A blank stare. Or I mention Conjunction Junction or how a Bill becomes a law. Blank stare. I am just generalizing, but it feels like we are from two different worlds.


    "I'm just a Bill, yeah I'm only a Bill, and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill...." and I've used an IBM typewriter before. Oh. I'm 20. SNAP.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2009 3:57 AM GMT
    IHG84 saidHmm the dude might have a daddy fetish thing going on, and may also want you to be his sugar daddy... Might want to be careful with that.

    I'm not saying it can't happen. I know this 17 year old gay kid who is in love with a friend of mine who is 34. The kid is pretty mature and wise for his age, and serious about the work he wants. Some young people are like that, as I know some older people who behave like 15 year olds.

    Oh and if you guys are truly in love, it aint about going to bars and clubs. I don't think couple should be doing it up in the gay clubs or bars anyway. Do other things for fun.


    I definitely agree with IHG84!

    To add my two cents though, why just under 21? Why not under 25? or under 30? I mean I'm not saying I dont believe love knows no boundaries, but do you really think there's much difference between an 18yr old and a 21 yr old? The only differences I see are body-wise and the fact that a 21yr old can actually drink and go out to bars and clubs. Other than that, I dont believe there's much difference. Most of my friends are above the age of 21 and half of them act like 15 yr olds, but there's the few who are under 21 who are way more mature than them.

    I don't really believe when people say maturity comes with age. Just as everyone sees the world differently, everyone grows up differently. Just because you are older doesn't mean you are more mature than the next person who is younger than you. Yeah you might know a lot more and be into a lot more things, but it does not mean you are more mature.
    I believe maturity comes from how you are raised, the environment in which you are raised and the kind of situations in which you are raised in, including any life-changing experiences. All of this can make a person change their view of life and how they see the world. Have it be if something terrible happens to them at a young age or have them regret something they've done at a much older age. Sometimes one has to go through something traumatic to be able to see things clearly and see the world through brand new eyes.

    I, myself, believe to be one of those few guys. In my young 19 years of life, I think I've gone through much more than anyone my age will ever go through, which resulted in me maturing much faster with no fault of my own. Most of family and friends say Im an old soul stuck in a young body, but that's just how I am. Not saying I dont like to have fun and that I can't be immature sometimes, but the way I view the world can be way different than another guy my age. I definitely know what I want in life and I've got a pretty good idea of who I am and what I want to do and if you ask another 19 year old that question, most will have no idea.

    And if you just let something like, "I'm not going to date him because he's under 21 and he can't do anything," get in the way, then that's your loss.

    But if your questions refers to dating someone under 21 because it just feels wrong and he is under 18, then that's another thing. That's pretty much your own decision and how you view the situation. So good luck! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2009 3:59 AM GMT
    Balljunkie saidMost guys that age seem so foreign to me. I mention something and they don't have a clue what i am talking about. For example, I mention a type writer in a joke. A blank stare. Or I mention Conjunction Junction or how a Bill becomes a law. Blank stare. I am just generalizing, but it feels like we are from two different worlds.


    conjunction junction what's your function?.... lol they still play those videos in school.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2009 4:04 AM GMT
    Well I am usually attracted to guys in late 20s or early 30s, more so because they have there stuff together. But that doesn't mean if I mean someone close to 21 and is interesting and nice I still won't date him. Its just a matter of how I feel when am with him.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 07, 2009 4:15 AM GMT
    It is very rare that I find guys under 27ish interesting. It happens though so I understand where you are coming from.

    I completely agree with you about older men(men my age). You can call it mean, I call it jaded. They just look at you wondering when the shoe is going to drop. They take everything that happens completely the wrong way. If I don't have money to go out on a certain night, they automatically believe I'm just ditching them because I'm not interested. I have a very hard time trying to apologize for their false assumptions that something "is up". In fact, if I do start apologizing they believe me even less. I'm a sincere stable guy and if the guy treats me like a suspect from day one, it just seems like a losing battle.

    Anyhow, I have met two guys this year around 27 that I would seriously consider dating at some point. Both have suggested dating in the past, but I'm still a bit tepid at this point. I guess I want to get to know them as friends first and see how it goes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    YES I CAN, as a matter of fact I am. I'm 29 and he's 19......and we have a working relationship. Love doesn't count years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2009 4:26 AM GMT
    In all honesty, for an LTR...the sub-21, (hell...sub-35!)generation, we just don't speak the same language and well, I'm not looking to raise a son, or be someone's meal ticket/daddy. I want a man to love and understand...we need to be of a similar generation....
    Would I and have I hooked up with a sub-21 guy...yeah and it was a blast! Finally someone that could keep up with me physically and was as horny and ready to go as I am! Sex with a sub-21(over 18 icon_cool.gif ...ANYTIME!...LTR?...I won't say "never", but he'd have to be the absolute exception..... icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2009 4:42 AM GMT
    When someone is more than 2 years younger than me I call him fetus.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Nov 07, 2009 5:14 AM GMT
    Well how comfortable are you with him? Is it his age that bothers you or him 'acting his age' that bothers you? Who's to say that a guy 15-20 years older would interest you as much? It sounds like you're either very flattered or very intrigued by the whole thing. Maybe you should at least explore it and not totally discount his feelings and attraction. Good luck!