How to be happy being alone?

  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Nov 08, 2009 1:33 AM GMT
    So I have been undergoing a lot of changes and what not, I don't really have many friends at where i'm at for college, and i don't have any potential relationships. So I need to learn how to just be happy being single and by myself... lol how does one go about being happy?
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    Nov 08, 2009 1:44 AM GMT


    Here, this topic should help out..


    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/697916

    -us
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    Nov 08, 2009 3:08 AM GMT
    Take this time as your "complete to do list time". Anything that you had always wanted to do but couldn't get time for it or felt embarassed doing it in front of family or friends. Whatever the reason was put it behind and go for it. If you seriously make a list you won't have enough time to even think about being alone or lonely.
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    Nov 08, 2009 3:13 AM GMT
    exercising can be a way of releasing endorphins (feel good stuff) and its something u can do alone. and in the long run it'll be a benefit to you as well. which is what i do now since i dont get to c anyone let alone my own family because im so busy. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 08, 2009 3:19 AM GMT
    I agree with the above. When I went to university I knew exactly no one. My instinct was to work out and do my own thing. Chances are, if you do that, you'll meet people worth your while.
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    Nov 08, 2009 3:20 AM GMT
    You can't really learn to be happy. I think you just do what makes you happy. read, socialize, workout, music, go streaking, whatever floats your boat.

    And for being single and happy, that's why you have friends. You don't need a crew of friends to keep you happy, one or two can always do you well. Good luck sport.
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    Nov 08, 2009 4:05 AM GMT
    A very wise woman once told me, "Nobody ever became happy by trying to be happy. Happiness is not an achievable goal. Happiness is the by-product of living the right way, doing the next right thing, one after another. You do that and then one day, out of the blue, you realize that you're happier than you ever dreamed you would be."

    My experience is that she was right. I can add that the people I've known who spent their lives constantly chasing after happiness all ended up miserable.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Nov 08, 2009 4:11 AM GMT
    Being happy? Gee, that's only the goal of every religion or philosophy that mankind has ever come up with. I have learned that you have to shitcan that old chestnut that you have to have another person in your life to "complete" you, or fill in the other half of your existence. Unless you are content with yourself, emotionally fulfilled by family, friends and career, you are basically worthless to another person. I was alone for almost ten years after my first husband dumped me for a 23 year old. I grew a lot during that time, and one of the best lessons I learned was that you have to be okay with being alone or else you will always be alone, if that makes sense...

    Being alone is not the same thing as being lonely.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 08, 2009 4:14 AM GMT
    I think it has alot to do with contentment within yourself. I can understand
    getting lonely and doing things by yourself can be challenging.

    I would encourage you to get involved with some campus organizations
    and make some friends.... but if you don't want or don't have time.. try and do things that make you happy and contented.... don't just sit around, that rarely works.
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    Nov 08, 2009 4:21 AM GMT
    introvert_advantage.jpg

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  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Nov 08, 2009 4:23 AM GMT
    Get a PS3/Xbox 360 and game with others online... can be quite amusing icon_biggrin.gif
    Also an interesting arena to meet new ppl.
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    Nov 08, 2009 4:32 AM GMT
    Don't worry so much about being single or alone. Work on personal growth. Explore hobbies, do some traveling, join activity groups, focus on your education. You're young. You have plenty of time to find Mr Right.
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    Nov 08, 2009 5:37 AM GMT


    ...and while enjoying the SPAM, have some mustard with it.


    Mustard.jpg
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    Nov 08, 2009 5:43 AM GMT
    get outside yourself . . . go to a concert, a play, or such . . . a college should have plenty of free or low cost events like that . . . and a trip to the gym is usually stimulating in one way or another, and it's a natural mood elevator . . .
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    Nov 08, 2009 5:54 AM GMT
    work out and go out, and do things you enjoy. if you cant be happy single youre more than likely not going to make anyone else happy enough to stick around for anything meaningful
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    Nov 08, 2009 6:49 AM GMT
    shake_n_bake saidSo I need to learn how to just be happy being single and by myself... lol how does one go about being happy?


    You make the choice to be happy.
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    Nov 08, 2009 7:22 AM GMT
    Yea, the first semester of college was rough for me for awhile as well. If I knew then what I knew now, I'd tell my 18-19 year old self to take the initiative to branch out and get involved in stuff on campus and in your community. I don't know if there's a formula for happiness, but too often relationships don't work out because one party dumps the responsibility of making them happy on someone else. That's nearly an impossible as well as thankless task if a person's hellbent on being happy only with a bunch of stipulations and requirements being met. I'd say don't chase relationships until you're comfortable with just being your own person. Again, easier said than done at 18 where there is a lot of social pressure to be this, that, or the other way. You want people to respect you for who you are, not accept you because you submitted to their ways.
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    Nov 08, 2009 8:52 AM GMT
    Here are the secrets:
    (1) Be content with what you have (though donĀ“t be ashamed about ambition). See the positives, be grateful for the good things in your life, stay out of debt.
    (2) Behave decently towards others.
    (3) Get on with your life and do stuff: people are not going to seek you out
    (4) Be the sort of person you want to be with.
    (5) http://www.seancody.com/page.php?frame=home
    (6)
    21962a.jpg
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Nov 08, 2009 9:13 AM GMT

    I was an undergraduate in southern new hampshire for four years. it was really difficult being closeted and being single for the latter three years. I studied often, joined many extra-curriculars that summoned pensivity, pushed myself to study subject matter that takes time to comprehend - e.g., physics, philosophy, mathematics, computer science, law, and environmental science. I spent much of my time working and listening to music to get me through the fall and spring seasons, when couples began to sprout about me - especially when that straight guy that I would meet and become close with would couple with a girl he liked for some superficial reason. I am still single, but - like many - I admit that I am not happy about it. someday this status will change, but until then I go about my days doing the things I enjoy and smack my face - hard - into learning lessons in life.
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    Nov 08, 2009 11:16 PM GMT
    This is an awesome read to self awareness. That awareness will bring self discovery and happiness will follow suit!

    books?id=w9reHXIzlo0C&printsec=frontcove

    If this brings emptiness, that big blue thing above might reach you where the book won't
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    Nov 08, 2009 11:19 PM GMT
    shake_n_bake saidSo I have been undergoing a lot of changes and what not, I don't really have many friends at where i'm at for college, and i don't have any potential relationships. So I need to learn how to just be happy being single and by myself... lol how does one go about being happy?


    Wow. How could a cute guy like yourself not have many friends nor potential relationships? I would be first in line to get to know you!
  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Nov 10, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    Thanks very much you guys for your help. I think I really am going to start focusing on personal growth. I am really going to start focusing on loving myself first ( which can be hard to do ), work out, focus on my work. I just gotta find a way to achieve it, I guess I just write it down and what not? Also lookign to get a job (expressmen, hopefully!)...
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Nov 10, 2009 3:01 AM GMT
    I think that some people are naturally happy alone and can easily entertain themselves, while other people need outside stimulation, so to speak.

    I am a loner, and I always have been.
    I'm happy doing things that you can do alone.
    No, not that. LOL. Although, that's fun, too.
    I love to read books, garden, do home improvement projects, play around on the computer...
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    Nov 10, 2009 3:07 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI think that some people are naturally happy alone and can easily entertain themselves, while other people need outside stimulation, so to speak.

    I am a loner, and I always have been.
    I'm happy doing things that you can do alone.
    No, not that. LOL. Although, that's fun, too.
    I love to read books, garden, do home improvement projects, play around on the computer...


    Wait wait wait... A guy that looks like yourself doesn't have guys chasing him around or having tons of friends? I don't believe you.
  • bryjeepguy

    Posts: 186

    Nov 10, 2009 3:26 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidI think that some people are naturally happy alone and can easily entertain themselves, while other people need outside stimulation, so to speak.

    I am a loner, and I always have been.
    I'm happy doing things that you can do alone.
    No, not that. LOL. Although, that's fun, too.
    I love to read books, garden, do home improvement projects, play around on the computer...


    Yeah, I can concur, some people can be happy alone and other require other people help.

    I have been both at different points in my life, was a complete loner for years in high school and first few years of college, got very social for a few years late in college and grad school, and now being a loner again for a while after being hurt by some of my close friends. I can be happy with or without people, different kinds of happiness and neither is better or worse for me. I tend to watch tv, movies, play games, surf web hence here lol, build stuff like woodworking making furniture, make stuff like baking and stuff, play games on computer, read and what not.

    AggieBoy said
    Webster666 saidI think that some people are naturally happy alone and can easily entertain themselves, while other people need outside stimulation, so to speak.

    I am a loner, and I always have been.
    I'm happy doing things that you can do alone.
    No, not that. LOL. Although, that's fun, too.
    I love to read books, garden, do home improvement projects, play around on the computer...


    Wait wait wait... A guy that looks like yourself doesn't have guys chasing him around or having tons of friends? I don't believe you.


    I also agree with him, you have a great body surprised you don't have ton guys chasing you forcing you to be very social.