DrobUA saidOk, I never came across this little issue I have in mainstream society but it happens ALL the time with gay guys. I will be talking to a guy and out of no where they will say, "Do you think I'm hot?" Even if I did think they were hot, them asking comes off as needy and insecure, HUGE turnoff. Am I hitting some cultural speed bump? Is that supposed to be a normal thing to ask in the gay community? Please enlighten me.
Many gay guys are what I like to call "needy." They have very low self esteem for a long list of reasons, and constantly go around seeking affirmation.
Folks with normal self esteem are turned off by this neediness, as in your case, because they don't understand how head-fucked some of these guys are.
The questions aren't normal for those with self-confidence.
It's a trap, too. If you're honest, and tell a guy, "Dude, you're fucking 5'8" and 120#, and anything BUT hot." they'll lash out at you for your honesty. Understand they really want positive feedback / affirmation / acceptance under all conditions. With some immature gay men, this constant need of acceptance under even the most weird conditions seems to be their need, even if they are really, really, weird. It's all plain bullshit, and not good for anyone's mental health. Folks have to learn to like themselves first. Normally adjusted folks do just that.
You have to decide for yourself if you want to be an enable to all the drama. At our house, we have nothing to do with, for the obvious reasons you stated.