Is virginity worth much?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 6:29 AM GMT
    From your experience, do gay guys find much interest in inducting a virgin the way straight guys do?

    Even though I've come out about feelings, I've still held off on sex. I'm not sure if it's something I should just jump into or still hold out for someone pretty special? Is that making too big a deal of it? Also, my super shallow side wonders if it's a one time thing that could interest a guy usually out of my league. Is that stupid?
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    Nov 14, 2009 7:10 AM GMT
    for me, it doesn't mean much, unless the guy I'm with I'm smitten with, then it can do becase I want them to enjoy them self and remember the experience as something that was good.

    But, I've not had many virgins where I was smitten with'em to that extent, mostly they just wanna get laid and then get attached to you because OMG somehow, taking there virginity means I love'em... so most of'em creep me out!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 1:37 PM GMT
    In addition to knowing what kind of man you are intellectually compatible with, there's also understanding your physical and sexual compatibility. I think having SOME experience can only benefit you and any man in your future.

    In my experiences, people who are allowing themselves to start having sex suddenly find themselves in a world of choices and opportunities... And very often end up wondering if the next person, or the person after that might be better or The One.

    Primarily for that reason, actually, do I stay away from virgins.

    That said, there's some romantic side of me that WANTS to make sure your first time is amazing! I truly hope you find him!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 1:50 PM GMT
    13k+ on the black market. (or craig'slist.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 2:16 PM GMT
    Nah. I believe it's worth the same.

    Adam4Adam probably has a rate card icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 2:18 PM GMT
    nah not in my book. i avoid virgins like the plague in any case- they're sloppy and awkward and i don't like playing teacher.. i'd rather learn a thing or two.
    and anyone who's still a virgin at my age is one for a reason- either no one else wants them, they're insecure about their sexuality, they think they're better than everyone around them, or they're sanctimoniously christian or conservative, all of which i also avoid like the plague.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 14, 2009 2:22 PM GMT
    I've found its a "happy balance".. that is, the guy who is confident in the sack, but isn't a slut.... someone who has some scruples about what he does sexually, but doesn't hold back when the time is at hand....

    I've certainly never lacked confidence, never... but I think its also very attractive when your sexual partner (if a simple date) shows some genuine concern for you and your feelings.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 14, 2009 2:23 PM GMT
    Dezmo saidFrom your experience, do gay guys find much interest in inducting a virgin the way straight guys do?

    Even though I've come out about feelings, I've still held off on sex. I'm not sure if it's something I should just jump into or still hold out for someone pretty special? Is that making too big a deal of it? Also, my super shallow side wonders if it's a one time thing that could interest a guy usually out of my league. Is that stupid?



    Out of your league??? Don't EVER think that. Your putting up walls and limitations. Nobody is out of your league...!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 2:30 PM GMT
    I think holding out for someone special isn't a bad idea.

    Not sure what I think about using virginity as sexual capital.
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    Nov 14, 2009 2:31 PM GMT
    well if you hold out for the perfect guy, he might not turn out to be perfect - more like a desperate horny toad who want to pop your cherry. I'd say - your 1st time - do it with someone you have luke-warm feelings for. Then after that, go all wild/slutty or just be calm/normal. And yeah, don't think that anyone is out of your league, there are no perfect guys out there. They're probably putting up walls or hiding behind one with their pretty smile. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 2:33 PM GMT
    i usually advise young virgins to experiment sexually so as to learn what they like, what they're good at- no one knows right off the bat. and practice makes perfect- its a skill, like any other. i tell them to do this, though with quality guys (preferably boyfriends)- not just anyone, for the SAKE of the special someone in their future they misguidedly think they're 'saving themselves' for, because ultimately, you'll better serve that person by being amazing in the sack and blowing their mind.... than by being a limp wet towel.
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    Nov 14, 2009 2:43 PM GMT
    No, there isn't any lure there to go deflower a virgin. The one guy who I slept with who was a virgin I made sure to make it as nice, gentle, fun, sensual and hot a time as I could. I think he enjoyed it. I wanted him to have a god first time so that in years to come (or maybe tomorrow) he wasn't describing how bad his first time was in a forum like this (or maybe he will....Im not that good in bed).

    Personally, it was a big deal to me when I first slept with a guy, and my first boyfriend made it a really great time.
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Nov 14, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    Virginity what's that?
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Nov 14, 2009 4:16 PM GMT
    Virginity, a bunch of religious nonsense that has been forced on society and fucks people up over and over!

    I could never comprehend that someone would stay a virgin until their wedding night. What if one of them was a horrible fuck and you had to live with this for the rest of your life. What a bunch of crap.

    Find a reliable guy to start fucking with and learn and enjoy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 4:44 PM GMT
    extra $200, but you have to be careful if you expect to get away with it more than few times.


    Actually for me being a virgin is a minus... I have to REALLY fancy/like the guy before I´ll consider it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 4:45 PM GMT
    It goes by so quickly - I'd go ahead and dive in...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 5:30 PM GMT
    It is certainly eroticized. Walk into a porn shop and you will find 18 hour compilations of tiny twinks getting their cherries burst.

    But personally, I like playing with people who know what they are doing.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Nov 14, 2009 6:13 PM GMT
    Dezmo saidFrom your experience, do gay guys find much interest in inducting a virgin the way straight guys do?


    The first question is kind of loaded. Are you asking for a poll of everyone on here? Do you think the random sampling of the few people that choose to answer is going to give you anything useful? If the answer is that most of the gay guys here don't like playing with virgins, what are you going to do with that info? Not get laid, ever?

    In my experience, virginity isn't that big of a deal. If you are dating, and not just meeting guys for one night stands, then bring it up when the time is right (maybe a date or two in). If the guy bolts, no harm done, move along. If the guy doesn't bolt, see where it goes. And don't bring it up like it's a big deal. It's not really. If you end up having sex once and either of you doesn't like it, it was a waste of a small amount of the other guys time. Again, no big deal. If the first time sucks for you, no big deal (the first time is supposed to suck).

    Since you don't have any experience in gay sex, I would suggest not diving into a one-night stand, even with a super hot guy. If you've waited this long, you're probably going to be nervous as hell, piss poor, and regret it after the fact. Because you waited this long. If you didn't have any hangups, you wouldn't be posting this question here.

    So I suggest you wait, and do it with the right guy. Who might well be "mr. right now" after a date or two or three, as opposed to "the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with and ride off into the rainbow on unicorns with harps playing and angels watching".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 6:48 PM GMT
    best thing to do is listen to your gut. no matter what anyone says in here, you should do what makes you feel comfortable. it's good to hear what others may be thinking about men who have not lost their V card so you can receive some insight but still listen to yourself and do what is right for you. everyone is different.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 14, 2009 7:29 PM GMT
    I think the V word still has a little bit of excitement to it. I am a virgin bottom, meaning I have never bottomed. It's not that I would never let it happen, but the few exes that I do have were strict bottoms and they never wanted to top.

    Once another top hears this about me, and actually can believe it, it gets them kind of hot and bothered. I usually just point to my ring finger and say "you can do something about it" and that scares them the hell away pretty quickly, lol. I doubt I will ever give it up unless it's in an intimate long term commitment, that's how effed up I am. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 7:48 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidI think the V word still has a little bit of excitement to it. I am a virgin bottom, meaning I have never bottomed. It's not that I would never let it happen, but the few exes that I do have were strict bottoms and they never wanted to top.

    Once another top hears this about me, and actually can believe it, it gets them kind of hot and bothered. I usually just point to my ring finger and say "you can do something about it" and that scares them the hell away pretty quickly, lol. I doubt I will ever give it up unless it's in an intimate long term commitment, that's how effed up I am. icon_razz.gif


    I'm sorry, I must have missed what you said after you've never bottomed. I seemed to have gotten all hot and bothered icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
    I'm a "man virgin" to this day...so to ME I feel like the experience has to be worth it.
    I've talked to a few buds on the site and have gotten some great feedback, and hearing from their experences has given me some necessary insight on things.
    I just gotta find the right guy, and most of all I gotta TRUST my GUT feeling. But damn am I ready!!!!

    WARNING: And if you see this and are thinking of creeping on me then please pretend you never read this
    unless you're around my age...hahaha
    icon_wink.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 14, 2009 7:54 PM GMT
    collegekid2004 said
    Celticmusl saidI think the V word still has a little bit of excitement to it. I am a virgin bottom, meaning I have never bottomed. It's not that I would never let it happen, but the few exes that I do have were strict bottoms and they never wanted to top.

    Once another top hears this about me, and actually can believe it, it gets them kind of hot and bothered. I usually just point to my ring finger and say "you can do something about it" and that scares them the hell away pretty quickly, lol. I doubt I will ever give it up unless it's in an intimate long term commitment, that's how effed up I am. icon_razz.gif


    I'm sorry, I must have missed what you said after you've never bottomed. I seemed to have gotten all hot and bothered icon_twisted.gif


    Do you intend to soil my reputation sir? I would be highly chagrined regarding this calamity if I wasn't so turned on.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Nov 14, 2009 8:12 PM GMT
    Virginity isn't worth a thing, but there is a value in self-respect. Honor your feelings, whether they advocate abstaining from sex or having as much as you want. It's much more important to be happy and satisfied of your personal life than to care about the act of not doing something.
  • RubiconRider

    Posts: 91

    Nov 14, 2009 8:24 PM GMT
    Personally, I tend to avoid virgins like the plague...

    Speaking as a bottom, a "virgin top" has no clue what they're doing, and that being the case, they're likely to either hurt me or (MUCH more likely) piss me off fumbling around.

    Speaking as a mid-30's guy, most virgins (I said MOST!! ) these days are well below my minimum age range....meanin' not legal. icon_wink.gif

    Speaking as a guy with a lot of kinks, icon_twisted.gif I tend to scare the virgins off anyway.