Gays on TV hindering Tolerance

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 8:28 PM GMT
    I just saw this article on Afterelton, and gave it a quick read.

    http://www.newsweek.com/id/222467


    The only thing that I agree with is:

    "Younger men and women, for whom society has been more tolerant, think of themselves as "post-gay," meaning their sexual orientation is only a part of who they are."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2009 9:07 PM GMT
    I actually agree with most of it.

    I was anxious to watch the new Mercy and got upset that used yet another effeminate male nurse, because of course, we are all that way.

    I write it off as baby steps,

    At least we have Brothers and Sitsters...a little closer to real life.
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    Nov 14, 2009 9:29 PM GMT
    This is probably the most important part of the article:

    "All this at a time when standing apart seems particularly counterproductive. Marriage (and the military) are sacred institutions, so it's not surprising that some heterosexuals will defend them against what they see as a radical alteration. But if you want to be invited to someone else's party, sometimes you have to dress the part."
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    Nov 14, 2009 9:34 PM GMT
    Then I must of always been post gay. because it's how I've always looked at it.

    It amuse me, one minute I'm just Pattison, and then when people have found out, I'm not just Pattison anymore.

    Yay I am still just Pattison, as my sexuality is just a small part of me, it doesn't define Me as a whole, as I' not just a homosexual, I'm white, male, a True Blue Aussie to boot. I have a faith, and so on.

    I'm not just a homosexual.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Nov 14, 2009 10:02 PM GMT
    At the same time, I think it's hard to minimize the fact that we're gay.

    I mean, this seems to be a very popular and active forum and the only thing we have in common is that we're men (or pretending to be) and gay (or pretending to be) to some extent and perhaps that we're interested in fitness or in other guys who are interested in fitness (or pretending to be). That connection - our gender and sexuality - is enough to keep this site very active, even being the basis that allows many to form friendships online or off.
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    Nov 14, 2009 10:47 PM GMT
    Balljunkie saidI just saw this article on Afterelton, and gave it a quick read.

    http://www.newsweek.com/id/222467


    The only thing that I agree with is:

    "Younger men and women, for whom society has been more tolerant, think of themselves as "post-gay," meaning their sexual orientation is only a part of who they are."
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I'm so glad to read this last statement, because truely being gay is nowhere near our defining atribute. I think as time passes and the bigots my age and older get out of the way for the younger more open minded people to come into control, gays will have it much easier. I think I'll live to see the day !!! You young guys GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Nov 14, 2009 11:59 PM GMT
    I am a 52 year old gay man. When I was 22 and just out, I was pretty focused on being gay. Now,I have a profession, I'm an uncle and a great-uncle, I'm a singer, a racquetball player and I'm gay. The more I've developed as I've grown older, the more being gay is just a part of my life. I spend much less time in bars than when I was first out and spend more time at social events such as potlucks with gay men. It is very much an important part of my identity, but only a part. I was in on the tail end of gay liberation, but the idea that being gay is only a part of one's identity is not new.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 12:24 AM GMT
    My thoughts on that are:

    1)Yeah gays can kind of be stereotyped on TV. No I don't think that is hindering tolerance. Everyone that says that never provides any kind of reasonable proof. The evidence in terms of polls prove the opposite. Every year the acceptance of Homosexuality goes up. Every year since gays decided they would not try to hide in the closet their whole lives (i.e. stonewall riots etc). SO what really helps gays is for gays to be known on an individual basis by heterosexuals. What causes intolerance is people like those homophobic religious people scaring people and teaching homophobia.

    2)Sexual orientation is only a part of who we are - this has always been true, but I think what make homosexuality MORE than what it is, is the prohibition against it. Laws, taboos .. that all make it stand out more than it should because it makes it a shame, sinful, something bad. Of course when you do that to ANY minority group it causes them to cluster together (safety in numbers) which causes them to form a subculture of their own.

    HOWEVER - Sexuality IS a large part of who we are in society also because it is the basis of something that is pivotal to ALL humans -- pair bonding. That is, when you seek to form intimate relationships (as almost ALL creatures do) then you HAVE to think in terms of sexuality or spend the rest of your life alone. So, your sexuality is going to be proportionately important to you as your intimate relationships are .. don't fool yourself in that regard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    I always get annoyed when people (on TV or in real life) segment or segregate their sexuality as some sort of self contained attribute. I am gay. I am all gay, all the time. I don't think about it. I don't go to Starbucks and think, "As a gay man, I'll have a....." I am an integrated person of many parts. Gestalt if you wish to define it.

    Being gay affects every aspect of my life in the same way being a man, being the person I've become, etc. I do not and cannot segregate these aspects of myself.

    That type of segregating the attribute of sexuality is not only faulty, it also supports the 'ex-gay' concepts by making it seem 'removable.'

    This is probably why, when I was a kid, that I always loved the "pound of flesh" courtroom argument in "The Merchant of Venice".
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Nov 15, 2009 12:43 AM GMT
    I honestly don't care.
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    Nov 15, 2009 3:32 AM GMT

    Regrettably, many straights see the sexual orientation first and foremost.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Nov 15, 2009 4:01 AM GMT
    Pattison saidThen I must of always been post gay. because it's how I've always looked at it.

    It amuse me, one minute I'm just Pattison, and then when people have found out, I'm not just Pattison anymore.

    Yay I am still just Pattison, as my sexuality is just a small part of me, it doesn't define Me as a whole, as I' not just a homosexual, I'm white, male, a True Blue Aussie to boot. I have a faith, and so on.

    I'm not just a homosexual.




    IT's not that it defines you as a whole, it's a critical part of who you are, what makes you who you are. You shouldn't downplay it like it's just a hobby or something.

    The reason why other people act differently when finding out about it is because it's not just a part of you, it's fundamentally different than being straight to them, so of course they are going to see you in a different way than before because they see homosexuality as being different itself.

    People see sexuality as fundamental, it's not just sex it's everything attached with it and how it gives meaning and definition in life, love for example.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Nov 15, 2009 4:06 AM GMT
    bgcat57,

    Yeah I agree. If it weren't so fundamental then why do people get upset about it if it's denied of them or argued that it should be taken away? Why do people commit suicide over it or have depression issues depending on their situation and how they are treated for being gay? It's so trivializing to say it's just a part of who a person is.

    I think people can accept a certain amount of limitation in their lives in regard to orientation by getting used to having that OR because it's not an issue, take it for granted, and so treat it as such.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 4:29 AM GMT


    "People see sexuality as fundamental, it's not just sex it's everything attached with it and how it gives meaning and definition in life, love for example."

    My gosh, that's wonderful.

    It's a keeper.

    -us
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 4:31 AM GMT
    I was trying to say that .. why must I be so clinical icon_rolleyes.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 15, 2009 5:18 PM GMT
    I dunno .... is it that the article is saying that what's shown on TV is stereotypical or that Any depiction of someone gay is setting us back?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 5:28 PM GMT
    Pattison saidThen I must of always been post gay. because it's how I've always looked at it.

    It amuse me, one minute I'm just Pattison, and then when people have found out, I'm not just Pattison anymore.

    Yay I am still just Pattison, as my sexuality is just a small part of me, it doesn't define Me as a whole, as I' not just a homosexual, I'm white, male, a True Blue Aussie to boot. I have a faith, and so on.

    I'm not just a homosexual.


    Just as there are different str8's and no 2 are the same, so we shouldn't expect gays to be the same either and each is different.
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    Nov 15, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    Being gay doesn't need to affect any other part of your life other than who you have sex with. Many gay men are absolutely no different than a str8 man, other than the sex of the person they are in bed with. That's all that's different from many gay men then str8 men.
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Nov 15, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    [quote]
    I write it off as baby steps,
    [/quote]

    It was baby steps when we had to endure Sean Hayes in Will and Grace. Now it's ingrained for hets as how we are, and for young gays as how we should be! icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 15, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    Many work the same job, watch the same TV programs, watch the same sports--everything in their life is no different than str8 men, other then the sex of the person they are in bed with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 5:46 PM GMT
    G_Force saidBeing gay doesn't need to affect any other part of your life other than who you have sex with. Many gay men are absolutely no different than a str8 man, other than the sex of the person they are in bed with. That's all that's different from many gay men then str8 men.

    You repeat the very statement of a gay guy I met online when I lived in Seattle, words that were instrumental in helping me break through my own denial.

    "Sexual orientation isn't about behavior," he also told me. "It's about sexual attraction. And the two are not necessarily the same." He taught me how I could be gay, and yet remain the masculine man I'd always been.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 10:22 PM GMT
    lol, if you go by TV shows, straights are loose, immoral, backstabbing, betraying, evil stupid people (re all the day time soaps), and completely obsessed with perverted sex (all the sex shows)

    Bad girls gone wild, anyone? lol

    Perhaps the problem is not the TV gay but the lack of variety in popular depiction. It's all about whatever sells.
  • AlexDSSF

    Posts: 35

    Nov 18, 2009 1:18 AM GMT
    I hate the word "tolerance". As a gay man, I find that word just as offensive as "fag". To be tolerated does not mean being accepted. To be tolerated means to be allowed to exist provided that you don't piss off the straight people by, dare I say it, asking for equality and full rights and not kowtowing to heterocentric America.