I am doomed. I have no sex drive.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2009 6:06 PM GMT
    I don't even masturbate. If I do i never cum. I hate sex and I didn't realize guys went at it so much. I could barely handle it once a year. Everyone thinks I have some sort of problem with my sexuality or something else. I dont think that is it. I just have almost zero sex drive. That will be a serious problem since everyone says the most important part of the relationship is sex and being good at it. So confusing. Am I better just telling someone right away or wait?
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    Nov 15, 2009 7:13 PM GMT
    I think you should actually go see someone for help as it seems you have a severe hormone imbalance if you have zero sex drive.

    Sex is important, I wouldn't say most important, but very important still. If you have no sex drive than you are missing a vital part in a relationship and I think you should fix it before approaching a relationship. I not not advocating that you should have endless hours of sex, but once a year is extreme.

    I feel like I have been trolled.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 15, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    I agree, go see a Doctor. Classic case of low testosterone.
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    Nov 15, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    You think I am a troll. That is cool. I get the same answer from everyone. It is a medical or mental problem. What if it isn't and I just don't have much of a sex drive.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 15, 2009 7:34 PM GMT
    weirdo saidYou think I am a troll. That is cool. I get the same answer from everyone. It is a medical or mental problem. What if it isn't and I just don't have much of a sex drive.


    If it is not physical or psychological than you are not human. A healthy adult human has a sex drive.
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    Nov 15, 2009 7:39 PM GMT
    weirdo saidYou think I am a troll. That is cool. I get the same answer from everyone. It is a medical or mental problem. What if it isn't and I just don't have much of a sex drive.

    If this is an accurate self-description of a 22-year-old male, it is not normal, and requires a consultation with health care specialists. I'm not qualified to say whether the cause is physical or psychological, but I do think it requires attention. Since the cause could be a serious medical issue, I would not delay. Not to mention that the OP is missing a natural & normal human pleasure.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Nov 15, 2009 7:39 PM GMT
    weirdo saidYou think I am a troll. That is cool. I get the same answer from everyone. It is a medical or mental problem. What if it isn't and I just don't have much of a sex drive.


    Dude, did you ever wonder why you wake up every morning and the rest of the world is crazy?

    See a doctor. Actually, a psychologist. Are you a repressed Catholic?
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    Nov 15, 2009 8:06 PM GMT
    Being gay was also considered a psychological disease and required diagnosis from a physician at one point not so long ago in history. so go figure. I'd say you are just tired and burned out from work so that's why you don't have a sex drive. It happens to me sometime when I'm so tired, I don't care if I don't jerk off. So, no need to be alarmed when other people are masturbating like fuckin rabbits. get plenty of rest and good food and so long as it's not affecting your work in any way, it doesn't matter whether you jerk off at all. Everyone has their own limit on the sex drive.
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    Nov 15, 2009 8:07 PM GMT
    I wouldn't call you abnormal in the sense that many probably will. I don't really see sex as natural and instinctual (and I know I'm going to get blasted for that comment by many many people who will demand a justification icon_redface.gif). But at least one person in the world doesn't perceive you as weird even though given your real jock name you might fully consider yourself as such.
  • esputniko

    Posts: 59

    Nov 15, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    That's got a name: asexuality, and is not a problem; it just happens.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

    http://www.asexuality.org/home/
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    Nov 15, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    No sex drive at 22? Yes, something is probably wrong either physiologically or psychologically. Signing up on a website to seek answers won't help you. Consult your doctor.
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    Nov 15, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    pitt451 saidI wouldn't call you abnormal in the sense that many probably will. I don't really see sex as natural and instinctual (and I know I'm going to get blasted for that comment by many many people who will demand a justification.

    I disagree. Lack of any sex drive at 22, and not having ejaculations, is not a normal occurrence for a healthy male. There can be serious medical problems associated with this condition. There may also be significant emotional issues.

    As described in the OP, it is at least enough to merit professional consultation, not amateur "feel good" opinions. If it turns out to be of no consequence, in the judgment of trained health experts, perhaps "asexuality" or some other damned thing, then fine & dandy. But I would not advise delaying getting their medical opinion, nor should any of us offer speculations that keep weirdo from seeing them at the earliest.
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    Nov 15, 2009 8:47 PM GMT
    I would have to agree with the people above.

    Not even once a year? I'm 20 right now, 2 years younger than you are, and I just had to j/o in the middle of studying because I had such a high drive for it.

    I'll be even more detailed: I took a shower, j/o, then j/o again while I was studying.

    I couldn't get by my day without masturbating at least a few times...
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    Nov 15, 2009 8:53 PM GMT
    It sounds like you dont seem very interested in SEEING if there IS a problem? When people have told you to go see a doctor, you got kind of defensive. So that begs the question, do you feel that it's a problem?
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    Nov 15, 2009 8:56 PM GMT
    You j/o more than once a day? icon_eek.gif

    I only do it once, if at all... maybe i have a problem icon_eek.gif
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    Nov 15, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    weirdo saidI don't even masturbate. If I do i never cum. I hate sex and I didn't realize guys went at it so much. I could barely handle it once a year. Everyone thinks I have some sort of problem with my sexuality or something else. I dont think that is it. I just have almost zero sex drive. That will be a serious problem since everyone says the most important part of the relationship is sex and being good at it. So confusing. Am I better just telling someone right away or wait?


    There's nothing wrong with you. Sexual desire is across the spectrum

    You should be thankful. At least you don't have to worry about all those damn pesky nasty diseases.

    I salute you.
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    Nov 15, 2009 9:12 PM GMT
    Having low sex-drive isn't the end of the world. Just direct your time and energy into other pursuits. No one ever died from low sex drive. If you want to date though it probably will be an issue. I broke up with my last bf l largely because of his lack of sexual drive.
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    Nov 15, 2009 9:19 PM GMT
    Out of curiosity, how did you come to identify as gay without a sex drive?

    I'm not saying strong sexual attraction is necessary to sexual identity, but I am curious if the state of your sex drive affected your process of self-identification as gay.
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    Nov 15, 2009 9:39 PM GMT
    sex just doesn't interest some people. Asexuality isn't all that rare but it is misunderstood. You have stated that sex doesn't interest you, but are you romantically interested in people? If you have no interest in sex or relationships, then cultivate friendships and laugh at people when they tell you something is wrong. If you are interested in relationships you have to realize that will be a deal breaker for a lot of guys. You have to be willing to suck a lot of dick or have an open relationship if you plan on being with a sexual guy. Being upfront about your identity is important.

    But, have you talked to a doctor or a therapist? Zero sex drive is one thing, but a medical or psychological condition can result in other problems. Better to be safe than miserable.
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    Nov 15, 2009 10:26 PM GMT
    Have you possibly left something out of the story like a health problem that your taking meds for? Sometimes verious meds will take away sex drive, depression will take it away, and sometimes people can be depressed without the widely recognized typical signs of it. While asexuality could very will be the trouble, there are several other possibilities that you really need to have checked out by a doctor. It may be some fairly simple physiological trouble. But don't be down on yourself regardless what it is.
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    Nov 15, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    Talk to a doctor and get a complete checkup. Then consider a therapist if your doctor advises you.

    What kind of guys are you meeting?

    Perhaps you need a connection.instead of just getting laid for the hell of it. Not a committment, but it certainly has to involve a guy who makes you happy. Kindness? Fun and laughing? An intelligent mind? A patient guy? Maybe your dick is connected to your brain..If you start to date a guy, tell him upfront that you want to wait and feel safe before expressing yourselves sexualy.

    Or take the opposite approach and get rid of possible hangups about hooking up for a night (or even an hour) .....and go for pure instinctual testosterone driven, raunchy, naughty sex.

    It seems a year is too long to go without sex or masterbating. Be good to yourself and make an effort to find out why. In the meantime, I hope you are pouring your energy into something else, like work or school or exercise. Men are wired like that.

    Good luck.






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    Nov 15, 2009 10:52 PM GMT

    weirdo saidYou think I am a troll. That is cool. I get the same answer from everyone. It is a medical or mental problem. What if it isn't and I just don't have much of a sex drive.


    This is perfect, do what none of us can do, start a family : all of the non sexually powered love you could ever need right there. Marry a woman : you don't like sex with her (or anyone), most women aren't too keen on sex with their husbands ; you just gotta cut the mustard a couple times with gusto, raise your children. She and they will love you forever....you'll never have to deal with a snippy queen questioning your labido again, and everyone will live happily ever after.



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    Nov 16, 2009 12:00 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidsex just doesn't interest some people. Asexuality isn't all that rare but it is misunderstood. You have stated that sex doesn't interest you, but are you romantically interested in people? If you have no interest in sex or relationships, then cultivate friendships and laugh at people when they tell you something is wrong. If you are interested in relationships you have to realize that will be a deal breaker for a lot of guys. You have to be willing to suck a lot of dick or have an open relationship if you plan on being with a sexual guy. Being upfront about your identity is important.

    But, have you talked to a doctor or a therapist? Zero sex drive is one thing, but a medical or psychological condition can result in other problems. Better to be safe than miserable.



    I don't understand. Isn't sucking dick having sex?
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    Nov 16, 2009 12:15 AM GMT
    If you want to be in a closed relationship with a sexual person, you need to have sex even if it doesn't interest you. They have sexual needs that need to be met within reason. If you cannot and are unwilling to then you need to discuss the future of the relationship.

    It isn't that much different than relationships where the two people have different sex drives. Sometimes to make everyone happy you have to suck a little cock even if you would rather watch Murder She Wrote.
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    Nov 16, 2009 12:29 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidIf you want to be in a closed relationship with a sexual person, you need to have sex even if it doesn't interest you. They have sexual needs that need to be met within reason. If you cannot and are unwilling to then you need to discuss the future of the relationship.

    It isn't that much different than relationships where the two people have different sex drives. Sometimes to make everyone happy you have to suck a little cock even if you would rather watch Murder She Wrote.


    Oh.ok.....sorry. I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that sucking cock is not sex.