Underwear From The Bottom Up

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 21, 2007 9:54 PM GMT
    ohnonotanotherunderwearthread!

    What the heck is underwear anyway?

    Forget boxers, forget briefs, forget designers or any brand you ever heard of. What is underwear supposed to do? This is step one in seeking out the perfect undergarment, or designing it from scratch if it doesn't exist. Don't describe what it looks like or what it's made of... at this point we only want to know what it's supposed to do.
    --------

    What I've thought of:

    •It's the base layer. This is what I'd be wearing if I was wearing nothing else. Lounging around the house or for working out.

    •You can swim in it

    •It keeps me out of jail. Preserves the legally required amount of modesty. Wouldn't raise (very many) eyebrows if I went into a store wearing it.

    •Wicks moisture away from the skin and keeps me dry during physical activity

    •Provides insulation and keeps me warm in the summer time

    •Provides traction against gym equipment (ever try to stay on a decline bench with a sweaty naked back?)

    •Provides support for "the package" without squeezing it cruelly

    •Fits inside jeans or a wetsuit without bunching or riding up.

    •Tough enough to stand up to physical activity

    •quick-drying and easy to wash (on the road, I like to be able to wash em by stomping them around in the shower, then hanging them dry overnight.)

    •It probably doesn't store stuff - I don't want to work out with pockets full of junk. Outer layers can do that.

    Other/Different ideas?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 22, 2007 4:44 AM GMT
    Can I just say that I love you! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 22, 2007 5:10 AM GMT
    Wow, Mindgarden, even with your extensive list you've neglected to include the only reason that's ever occurred to me for the wearing of underpants: To keep the more expensive garments – once-upon-a-time more difficult or impractical to launder – from getting soiled with urine and faeces. Linen undergarments – before they were replaced with today's ubiquitous cotton – were especially hard-wearing and would've stood up to the frequent washings in scalding hot water, unlike the woolens, silks and leathers of yesteryear. Too pragmatic?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 22, 2007 5:40 AM GMT
    Skid-mark control. Check.
    Although usually I have better control than that, I suppose we all get old sometime.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 22, 2007 5:52 AM GMT
    Boy, I hope I never get lost in the woods...and start writing my opus magnus, De Subucula. ... icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 22, 2007 6:31 AM GMT
    I have a pair of boxer by a company that make it from metal/cotton underwear. They actually make metal fabric for military purpose, fun to burn it so the cotton's gone and all is left is shear mesh of fine wires. anyway, for fun they make them into underwear, jokingly claim the anti-radiowave quality to protect your private parts. lol

    for sure it's durable, and to spray it with titanium oxide then you have a self cleaning underwear.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Dec 22, 2007 9:33 AM GMT
    they must provide sexiness, and superpowers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 22, 2007 10:01 AM GMT
    i wonder if straight people are so completely and utterly obsessed with underwear? i'll have to ask one if i meet one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 22, 2007 10:35 AM GMT
    I have to agree with Aero!
    Not to get gross here but for you commandos . . .wipe your butt in the usual manner. Then take a wash cloth see what you come up with icon_cry.gif
    BH
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    Dec 22, 2007 11:08 AM GMT
    Mindgarden's quote "It keeps me out of jail. Preserves the legally required amount of modesty. Wouldn't raise (very many) eyebrows if I went into a store wearing it."

    I wouldn’t mind knowing which store you are talking about here? Even in totally laid-back, beach-tourist-swamped Torremolinos where I live, every Spanish eyebrow would be raised if you walked into one of their stores wearing just your undies, not to speak of the burka laden Morrocans who would probably feint dead away. That would even happen if I walked in wearing what I have on now which are my long johnsicon_redface.gif, that is, nearly fully covered.
    I would also propose that undies are for keeping the package from visually flopping around in pants, although I suppose that could be covered under support.
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    Dec 22, 2007 7:43 PM GMT
    Well, it's common for people around here to walk around in their gym clothes, so on my list I'm saying basically that "underwear" should be the same thing. BTW: I was once harangued, at length, in a small town square in Spain, about (as near as I could tell) how unseemly it is for a grown man to be wearing sandals.

    ebl333: See, that's why I put this up here. I never would have thought of a faraday cage for the nads on my own. (At least I hope I wouldn't have.) Maybe NASA would buy a few pair.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 22, 2007 7:53 PM GMT
    Oh!! Gym clothes as underwear. You could go shopping in those, no problem.

    and the sandals, yeah, "small town square in Spain", the operative word here is "small"

  • TallGWMvballe...

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 31, 2007 7:31 PM GMT
    Mindgarden, you perfectly described UnderArmour and it's copies from other companies icon_smile.gif