Why do people find it weird that a gay guy would be an athlete or know anything about sports?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2009 9:31 PM GMT
    Ok, so I'm hanging out with one of my best friends and this chick whos one of his friends couldn't believe I knew the NFL and MLB as much as i did. SO i asked her why is that surprising and she said that she had only seen gay guys that were the fashion girly muscial types. I told her that gays arent just fucking flamers...fuck more than half the gyms i go to are gay guys. She also didnt believe i played NCAA tennis for a D1 school. So i thought about this and have a question for all of ya'll: do you think people would be more accepting of gay people if they saw that most of us are sports/gym oriented and have the same attitude and apperance of straight guys?
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Nov 16, 2009 9:37 PM GMT
    Plain and simple, she's never met a gay guy and known it, except for the ones who fit stereotypes. The problem is that the athletic "masculine" type aren't as visible so people just assume that all the gay guys they know are the ones they could tell.
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    Nov 16, 2009 9:38 PM GMT
    Why do people find it weird that a gay guy would be an athlete or know anything about sports?

    The answer to your question I think lies in persception. The "flamer" is more easily identifiable as gay, than the gay guy who fits the more traditional male image. Therefore, people dont realize how many of those traditional males are gay.

    Then there are some who dont want to perceive gay guys as anything but flamers. It would undermine their bigotry.
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    Nov 16, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    commence masc/fem thread.

    Generate the following posts

    "yeah, I hate flamers"

    "no they will never accept us"

    "we must break down stereotypes"

    "no-one knows I´m gay, not even the guy I hooked up wth yesterday. THAT´s how straight acting i am"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 5:09 AM GMT
    And the ever-popular "for every flamer u see, there's another manly man ready to play with your joystick"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 5:16 AM GMT
    I know for a fact that most people that I've met accept me more because I am in sports and am a "normal" major at my school. Unfortunately a lot of my heterosexual friends think that all gay people are "bonfires"(bigger than flamers-inside thing) and end up being clothing designers and hairstylist. It blows but it is funny seeing people's reactions when I tell them that I played baseball for so long.
  • victor8

    Posts: 237

    Dec 16, 2009 5:20 AM GMT
    here is a very good reason for people to come out of the closet...not only do younger gays need positive role models...but straights need to know we're not all in fishnets singing in drag on a cabaret stage
  • sportsjockla

    Posts: 498

    Dec 16, 2009 5:30 AM GMT
    I watch football every sunday and baseball during the summer. Love sports!
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 16, 2009 5:30 AM GMT
    wanda-1.jpg

    Girl...are you serious? 104.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    Hopefully your introduction will be an eye opener for her and not just some oversight in her life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 6:09 AM GMT
    I think what's better than masc/fem or butch/flamer is how intergrated we can be about traits and interests that heterosexuals assign to the sexes. Maybe some gay guy likes NFL and Broadway musicals. Another one works construction and likes to knit (my friend Joe in Mass). Maybe the straights, who have constrained themselves to these limited roles, would find it freeing to see how accepting we can be of ourselves.
    Also, I think it's weird how butch some of these "Straight" women can be about the NFL in particular. I think there's either a double standard here about who can be interested in sports, or there's a lot of dykes in the closet. 50% of the "straight" women dress like bull daggars anyway, so where are THEY coming from? They look really bovine running around in their camo sweats and NFL parkas....icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 16, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    That is because heterosexual people don't always know how desperate most gay guys are to act as straight as they can.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Dec 16, 2009 6:17 AM GMT
    Lostboy saidcommence masc/fem thread.

    "no-one knows I´m gay, not even the guy I hooked up wth yesterday. THAT´s how straight acting i am"



    icon_lol.gifLove it. It's exactly what jumps to mind when guys say on here, "I'm masculine looking for masculine," or "No girly types" and the like. Get over yourselves.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Dec 16, 2009 6:35 AM GMT
    do you think people would be more accepting of gay people if they saw that most of us are sports/gym oriented and have the same attitude and apperance of straight guys?

    No, at least not in regard to people who are anti-gay. They would just view that in some devious way, like gay guys hiding their orientation in order to look at other guys in the locker room.

    She thought of tennis as a straight guy masculine sport?

  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Dec 16, 2009 7:05 AM GMT
    Tennis is as closeted a sport for gay men as there can be. There have been more women who have been out in tennis at a high level (Billie Jean, Amelie Mauresmo, Martina Navratilova). Baseball is a pretty closeted sport, as are football, hockey and basketball. Part of the heterosexual reaction has to do with conservative nature of some of these sports. There is hell to pay for being out. People believe there are no gay men in traditionally masculine domains because they don't want them to be there.
    There was a time when every domain was closeted. There is still a heavy price for being out in many areas where gay men are common: figure skating, acting. People also find it weird that a gay man would be a cop, an engineer, a fire fighter or an aircraft mechanic. The domains where it is considered a no-brainer to find gay men are in the arts, waiters, hairdressers, design, etc. The arts are traditionally more liberal and more accepting of diversity, so that has been the first place that gay men will be identified as belonging. This also becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because many gay men will have to choose between being open about who they are and pursuing their career interests. In the not so distant past, many gay men chose to go where they could be open rather than be stuffed into a closet. Others pick the closet so they can advance in their chosen fields. So there are occupations which have higher proportions of gay men in them because the range of what is permitted is greater in those occupations. I would guess that the more accepting the society becomes of gay people, the freer gay men will feel to pursue what truly interests them without regard to preconceived notions of gender roles.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 7:39 AM GMT
    I blame the mass media. Hollywood is always the episcenter for portraying any group in a specfic light. I talked to enough people that work in the industry that agree. Its annoys me
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    Dec 16, 2009 7:41 AM GMT
    mcwclewis> she's never met a gay guy and known it, except for the ones who fit stereotypes. The problem is that the athletic "masculine" type aren't as visible so people just assume that all the gay guys they know are the ones they could tell.

    Right, false negatives.

    The other half of that sampling error is false positives; not all the guys they peg as gay are. The gayest guy in our office (into theater, knits...) is straight. Go figure.

    There is definitely a "visibility" issue, as well as probably a lot of psychological drama (yep, me included). Those who can "pass" for straight are tempted to maintain that image (and it's not necessarily a facade). So not only don't they wrap themselves in a rainbow flag, they also tend not to tell their co-workers - or team-mates - that the hot date they mentioned was a guy. People then make associations based on what they see (and despite not knowing what they miss, like NFL players who came out after retirement).


    victor8> here is a very good reason for people to come out of the closet...not only do younger gays need positive role models...but straights need to know we're not all in fishnets singing in drag on a cabaret stage

    I think the "role model" is the more important component. I know that when I was ~17, the few glimpses of gay life I saw were leather daddies and drag queens. Above and beyond the normal denial, this made me think I was a real weirdo... I wasn't gay but was just sexually attracted to guys.


    sportfrat> do you think people would be more accepting of gay people if they saw that most of us are sports/gym oriented and have the same attitude and apperance of straight guys?

    Anto> No, at least not in regard to people who are anti-gay.

    I fear you are right. Usually the "reasons" that people don't accept (or hate) others are rationalizations to reverse engineer the desired result. For example, racists don't hate Hispanics because they are druggies, they believe they are druggies because they have a prejudice against Hispanics.


    Coincidentally, on my way to the gym last night I pondered if there is an analogous term to "lipstick lesbian" in the gay males' world. Sure, guys can be "butch" or "femme", but those also apply to lesbians. We have "nellie queens" but no "football fags" or "construction/hard-hat gay"?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 8:00 AM GMT
    I love being underestimated, athletically and in testosterone pissing contests.
    Most guys choke down being out run, cycled, swam or climbed.
    But I find my "manhood" is tested most frequently just before the fight.
    It sounds a little something like,
    him/them: "What are you going to do about it faggot."
    me: "I'll be the first faggot to kick your douche bag ass and teach you something about manners."
    I never tire of saying that and I never tire of proving the point that 'the fist of girlish charm is thrown with a man's boxing arm'... boo yah... icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 8:05 AM GMT
    Anto saiddo you think people would be more accepting of gay people if they saw that most of us are sports/gym oriented and have the same attitude and apperance of straight guys?
    No, at least not in regard to people who are anti-gay. They would just view that in some devious way, like gay guys hiding their orientation in order to look at other guys in the locker room.
    She thought of tennis as a straight guy masculine sport?

    I lived in some very rural places and I think the mentality that prevails there is somewhat indicative of mainstream thoughts on masculinity that exist in urban settings as well. It all comes down to kicking someones ass. Maybe I grew up around too many cowboys but it's all talk till your ready to throw down, then you find out who's mouth is writing checks their ass can't cash. Just my opinion.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Dec 16, 2009 9:00 AM GMT
    Photobucket
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 16, 2009 10:47 AM GMT
    victor8 saidhere is a very good reason for people to come out of the closet...not only do younger gays need positive role models...but straights need to know we're not all in fishnets singing in drag on a cabaret stage


    Something about this thought really bugs me.

    1) I think it's unfortunate to define "feminine" men as negative. For me, negative role models would be gay men selling drugs to minors, gay men abusing drugs, gay men abusing minors, gay men abusing each other, gay men in white cotton socks not at the gym (ok, that last one was a joke... kinda).

    2) I think it's unrealistic. So many of those men who others would not quickly identify as gay would not tell people they're gay because they don't want to be defined by their sexuality.

    If you're sexually attracted to men, but that doesn't define you in any way, then why would a young person who is sexually attracted to men but not defined by it need a gay role model?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 11:21 AM GMT
    DrobUA> "Nobody knows I'm straight acting."

    ROTFL!


    drypin> I think it's unfortunate to define "feminine" men as negative.

    Agreed, and hopefully that was just unfortunate sentence structure. Everyone needs different types of role models... or just someone they can identify with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2009 11:31 AM GMT
    I personally find fishnet-clad drag queens singing cabaret very threatening to my masculinity. This is why I never miss an opportunity to say they are "frightening". Which I then follow up by brandishing the internationally recognized totems of manhood: sports equipment and power tools.

    * In a moment of doubt about his true Manly-Man nature, wonders if he could take out EasilyDistracted. *

    ...

    * Decides that, yes, he could take him out to a restaurant. *
  • Simeon

    Posts: 38

    Dec 16, 2009 11:40 AM GMT
    Nah.

    What we need is a fishnet-clad drag queen singing cabaret and wielding a power-tool.icon_twisted.gif

    As for me, well I like musical, bake and have no interest in motor cars (so a tick for the stereotype). However, love playing rugby, footie, cricket, tennis and swimming. I may like cheesy pop but you ain't gonna see me dance unless I am very tipsy. Also, I like dark colours...thought I do love red. In fact, at college, one of the most common comments made by friends was that I was like the Dairy Milk Man.
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    Dec 16, 2009 11:44 AM GMT
    Simeon saidWhat we need is a fishnet-clad drag queen singing cabaret and wielding a power-tool.icon_twisted.gif


    I think you just invented the Rocky Horror Picture Show.