Attn all RJ dog guys: 1 Blits down. emo reinforcements needed.

  • xysx

    Posts: 306

    Nov 18, 2009 2:06 AM GMT
    Over the past 3 days, my rottie Blitz has gone from spryly smiling and playing ball like a puppy to being unable to sit up, much less walk. Hip dysplasia, I thought, since he's 13 & I know 'final straw' on that can happen quickly. since I'm a nurse specializing in Hospice/Palliative care as well as HIV, it wasn't a far stretch to see the forecast. I spent last night sleeping with him in His bed, helping him reposition, fed him a midnight snack of asprin in peanut butter followed by milk bone and icecube chasers (his favorite). spent the day at his side. Took him to vet this afternoon. Probable Dx: bone cancer that had innervated his spine. Compassionate Tx: flatline ____. So I just returned in what seemed like a very empty jeep to a very empty house. So, those who have gone through this; do you find it easier to get another pup right away, or have you found it more useful to take time, cathart grieve, & regroup first? ?ui=2&ik=fde77e7849&view=att&th=12504235
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    Nov 18, 2009 2:52 AM GMT
    xysx, we're both feeling badly for you!

    There's no rule or best advice from us. For us, two ways to look at it.
    If there's a hole in the house (heart); fill it, or take time to let the grief pass first. We usually wait a little for circumstance and opportunity to present itself. It always does.
  • ArmsandLegs

    Posts: 125

    Nov 18, 2009 5:39 AM GMT
    From my experience, I find it better to wait a bit before bringing home a new pup.
    When you bring home a new pup soon after the death of your old dog, sometimes you expect the new one to fill the same shoes and expect them to be the same as your ol' boy. But thats impossible being as no two dogs personalities are the same.

    Best of luck in whichever path you choose to take!
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    Nov 18, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    Take your time. Getting another "kid" is something you want to be mentally clear-headed for, and it will take a bit for you to forget the sadness. It takes less time than you'd think before you only remember the good times and forget the ending -- after all, that was the vast majority of your time together.

    You did the right thing with Blitz. Give yourself time, and I'm sure you'll be a great parent once again.
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    Nov 18, 2009 5:40 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear it. *big hugs* icon_sad.gif

    I think the other posters are right. Don't rush into things with another pup too soon. Give yourself a little time before expanding the family again.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    Nov 18, 2009 5:51 AM GMT
    Sorry about your loss..

    I lost my dog in June and am waiting until next year to get another one.

    I know some people who got another dog fairly quickly, and the second dog does not quite measure up to the first. (No fault of the second dog's)
    The house will seem empty, you will miss the fun of having a dog.

    Allow yourself some time to miss the dog.
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    Nov 18, 2009 5:54 AM GMT
    I am so sorry and also " big hugs" icon_sad.gif

    I have four boston terriers and they are getting up there 9 to 12. I know I'll face what you are going through in a few short years. I did with my first boston that died unexpectedly. Take some time to grieve, what ever your time is then go find your next little love.

    icon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gificon_sad.gif hurts I know!!!
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    Nov 18, 2009 6:06 AM GMT
    I read an article in men's health that says "go out and get another one" I love my little dog so much, I just could not go get another one.

    I have to say though, a month or so ago I was in the same situation with my other dog who I gave to my ex to become his service animal. One night someone gave him some beef neck bone which the little piggy ate it all up. Well he awoke my ex in the middle of the night vomiting and pooping blood. Apparently all the bone particles were sanding his intestines.

    By the time we got him to the animal hospital he had lost so much blood and fluids the doctor did not give him much of a chance. I took the day off so I could go up to L.A. and pay the bill (I was willing to pay whatever it took) but expected to be burying him. I knew that it would KILL my ex if something happened to him. I cried on and off the 2hrs drive up there. I had him from 6 weeks old and he is nearly 11 now.

    Well after the doctor treated him with IV fluids, antibiotics, and other medicine he pulled through after about 3 days of taking him back and forth to the hospital for more IV treatments.

    I don't look forward to the day when I have to say goodbye to either of mine, but i will be happy to know that they had a good happy life in which they were well loved.
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    Nov 18, 2009 6:12 AM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear your story.

    Do what's right for you. Waiting worked for me - I ended up with a different type of dog and a different type of experience and I think it's great.
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    Nov 18, 2009 6:32 AM GMT
    My deepest sympathy xysx.

    Having to put down one of my favorite dogs was nearly as bad as watching my mother pass on.

    I've typically have two dogs at the same time so the house is never completely empty. Still the pain can be surprisingly intense and can come on at unexpected times.

    As for now or later, it's a toss up. Personally I adopt strays so it's never an immediate thing. I wouldn't worry about a new dog not being up to snuff with Blitz. All dogs have their own set of unique qualities. Currently I have a diabetic (80 units of insulin/day is not cheap), nearly blind, wall chewing, yellow lab that needs care every 6 hrs or so. Yep, she's a lot to deal with but she has a heart of gold and it is pure joy watching her get excited about the smallest of things like walking to the mailbox or sniffing the yard for chipmunk/rabbit/squirrel scent.

    Finding a dog is a bit like dating, Keep your heart open and take a chance when you find a dog that speaks to you.
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    Nov 18, 2009 6:56 AM GMT
    My deepest sympathy to you--my dog is 9 years old, and everyday, as I notice the changes in his behavior and appearance, I fear for the day I might lose him.

    I've no idea how I'll handle it when mine is gone, and I’m sure there will come a point where I'll get another because I'll miss the friend and companionship.

    It's heartwarming to hear your story of the care he got in his last days; I'm sure that through the pain, it was your love that he felt the most, and that's the best thing he could have to say goodbye to this life.
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    Nov 18, 2009 11:14 AM GMT
    My condolences. The loss is greater than any non-canine person can imagine. They create a bond very few humans can fill. One word, unconditional.

    Take some time to think about it first, you will know. Do not rush into getting another companion immediately, you may expect him/her to be like the one you lost. When the pain has subsided, visit the shelters, rescues or respectable breeders, and let him/her find you.

    I wish you the best.
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    Nov 18, 2009 11:37 AM GMT
    I would regroup, grieve for Blitz for awhile. Then go and see about adopting a dog from the pound. 6 out of 7 of my dogs have come from the pound and they have all been wonderful. My last dog was 16 when she was put down. Had stomach problems. Hope was the best dog I've ever had. My mother loved her as much as she loved my mother.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 18, 2009 1:43 PM GMT
    I get the new pup; at least, a year b4 the old one goes. You do not experience the empty house so much, that way.

    Get a new one right away; it removes the sadness instantly!
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    Nov 18, 2009 1:46 PM GMT
    There's a dog out there that needs rescue. Why wait?
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    Nov 18, 2009 1:47 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear about your loss.
    My suggestion (for whatever it's worth), is to give yourself some time to grieve. You'll know when it's time to bring a dog back into your life.
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    Nov 18, 2009 2:08 PM GMT
    Sorry for your loss. I think the answer to your question depends on the person, and perhaps even on how the late animal was lost. If it was very emotionally painful for the owner some people will not want to face going down that road again some day, or at least not right away.

    My partner had a number of dogs, until his Great Dane, a huge creature nearly 200 pounds. Its portraits are still hanging all over this place, and my partner says there'll never be another dog like him, anything else would be a disappointment, and so for 15 years there's not been another dog in his life.

    On the other hand, a gay couple and close friends of mine recently lost their middle-aged cat to disease, and got a new pair of kittens within 2 weeks. And as for myself, there's been both long gaps between my cats & dogs, and at other times quick replacements, having less to do with the late pet than with the chance of coming across a new pet I couldn't resist.
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    Nov 18, 2009 2:16 PM GMT
    I feel your pain.
    I commiserate because my Thelma had serious hip dysplasia as well and I would sleep with her on the floor during her last days; it took time to get over my own selfishness and “do the right thing”, when she could no longer get up at all.

    I still cannot think of getting another dog and it’s been almost 2 years…last week I was cleaning out the convertible I haven’t driven in some time and found one of her toys—had a small break down.
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    Nov 18, 2009 2:43 PM GMT

    I am very sorry for your loss. I was looking at the pics of you and Blitz in your profile; it's obvious you two had a wonderful bond and I can not imagine how tough it is for you to have had that taken away.

    As an animal trainer, I spend a lot of time helping people change animals. But I marvel every day at how those same animals change their humans. I have come to believe that, for most of us, our animals make us better people. And those are gifts our pets leave us even after they have passed on.

    As far as getting another dog: follow your heart and your gut. You'll know when it's time. It is probably inevitable that, however long you what to get another dog, you will compare your new dog to Blitz. Try to resist that as much as possible. You will probably have selective memory when it comes to Blitz and you're likely to remember the grown up, settled in Blitz while your new dog may be young or just unsettled for a while.

    If you want the company of a dog and the chance to do something to save some dogs' lives without having to invest right now in the kind of bond you formed with Blitz, consider fostering for a no-kill shelter in your area. Shelters are overflowing with dogs as people give them up for economic reasons or because they have lost their homes and have to move into places that don't allow pets. If you go down this route and wind up fostering the right dog at the right time, there is every chance you could adopt your foster.

    I wish you all the best.
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    Nov 18, 2009 3:06 PM GMT
    My heartfelt sympathies.

    The loss of my dog last year was the greatest emotional pain I have ever felt. I know I must be crazy, but I had more love for that dog than anything else (and anybody else) in the world. Even thought it's been 18 months, I'll still think of him occasionally and have to wipe my eyes.
    When anybody suggested getting another one, I would silently fly into a rage and envision myself beating them to a pulp for suggesting that my best bud in the world could so easily be replaced.

    Now I've got the weirdest, cutest, quirkiest, most stubborn and neurotic dog in the world, who makes me laugh until it hurts.

    My feelings: you need to finish the grieving process. There is the possibility of subconscious comparison, the new dog is actually a "replacement", and you become disappointed. Please be absolutely sure that the new pup will receive all the love you can give for who he is, not just because he is filling a void.

    When ready to make room in your life for another, PLEASE consider a rescue. Each rescue that you adopt is one less animal on death row.

    But whatever path you choose, I wish you the best.

    For everybody else:
    I cannot believe the responses to this forum post. So many thoughtful, caring and unselfish men. Big hugs to all of you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2009 3:08 PM GMT
    I feel for you. A loss like that can be very disheartening.

    I would say that the answer your looking for isn't as linear as one may initially perceive it to be. I think that a specific kind of person can simply move on to another dog quickly, but I also think that some people must have time to pick themselves up from a big loss like that then weigh/consider getting another dog.

    I can still remember the first cat I ever had when I was about 16 (well, cat that I really loved and cared for a lot). I'm not a cat person anymore, but she did pass awaw because of her leukemia. I remember trying to feed her and tried to get her to go play with me but she lost the use of her legs. Eventually she couldn't move at all. We had her put down. I remember crying so much because of that. Losing someone that you love is rough, and I believe that the way you handle the loss is unique to you.
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    Nov 18, 2009 3:25 PM GMT
    I had to do the same thing a few years ago. My parents asked if I wanted another dog right after and I told them I needed a little time. Well...they got me another one anyways, and I sort of hated her at first. If you think you need time...take it...
  • DuggerPDX

    Posts: 386

    Nov 18, 2009 3:27 PM GMT
    Sorry for your loss..

    I agree on the wait. But it might be nice to go to your local Humane Society and volunteer some time walking the dogs, it might get you through a rough time.

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    Nov 18, 2009 3:29 PM GMT
    Sorry for your loss. I have been through this myself and taking time ti heal is good for you. So take your time and grieve. When you are ready, you will know it.
  • xysx

    Posts: 306

    Nov 19, 2009 9:35 PM GMT
    Thank you to all of who who responded, both on forum, as well as privately. I can't tell you how much your positive support has helped me these past couple of days. -the unique bond that I have felt from people such as yourselves who understand is a truly remarkable and appreciated thing. Your experiences, personally, and professionally, are views that I acknowledge, cherish, and take to heart. -thank you.