If U are - ,would U have sex w/ a hiv+ guy?

  • jingold04

    Posts: 122

    Nov 20, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    I'm building this topic off of "hard2hold" and his post,thanks for answering the question first "H2H" ;).
    Would you have safe sex (anal w/a condom,oral,anything you would do with a neg. guy) with a HIV+ person. I think this is a conversation we as a community need to have. There is almost NO better place to have it than realjock,primarily because there are so many HOT hiv+ guys on the site.
    I,personally,would,and have,had incredible sex with several + guys. I've always played it safe with EVERY partner (that is ABSOLUTELY NOT a slight to H2H! He's a young kid and NO ONE is perfect and does the right thing all the time!). I've topped,bottomed,sucked them like the last bit of air was in their balls,let them cum on my chest,my face,pull out,slip off the condom and cum on my back and ass (damn!I might be a whore!). I have been tested on a regular basis since I was 20yo and I've always tested negative.
    I even remember getting hot and heavy on a first date. The big bang was about to go down,with me on the bottom. The guy said "are you sure,I'm positive". I replied "that's what that condom in your hand is for".
    Please be honest with your replies,and don't judge me! I enjoyed my 20's,played it safe and,unless a bus comes outta nowhere,I'll still be alive to see social security go bankrupt.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Nov 21, 2009 3:05 AM GMT
    jingold04 saidI'm building this topic off of "hard2hold" and his post,thanks for answering the question first "H2H" ;).
    Would you have safe sex (anal w/a condom,oral,anything you would do with a neg. guy) with a HIV+ person. I think this is a conversation we as a community need to have. There is almost NO better place to have it than realjock,primarily because there are so many HOT hiv+ guys on the site.
    I,personally,would,and have,had incredible sex with several + guys. I've always played it safe with EVERY partner (that is ABSOLUTELY NOT a slight to H2H! He's a young kid and NO ONE is perfect and does the right thing all the time!). I've topped,bottomed,sucked them like the last bit of air was in their balls,let them cum on my chest,my face,pull out,slip off the condom and cum on my back and ass (damn!I might be a whore!). I have been tested on a regular basis since I was 20yo and I've always tested negative.
    I even remember getting hot and heavy on a first date. The big bang was about to go down,with me on the bottom. The guy said "are you sure,I'm positive". I replied "that's what that condom in your hand is for".
    Please be honest with your replies,and don't judge me! I enjoyed my 20's,played it safe and,unless a bus comes outta nowhere,I'll still be alive to see social security go bankrupt.




    Yeah I would why not? it's safe. icon_biggrin.gif
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Nov 21, 2009 7:23 AM GMT
    My answer to this question is no
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    Nov 21, 2009 11:33 PM GMT
    yeah, I would, will and have, I play safe and make sure they know what safe to me means and am sure to know what safe to them means so that we are both on the same level.

    HIV isn't the thing that scares me, it's a bad person with HIV that is scary.
  • nadaquever_rm

    Posts: 139

    Nov 21, 2009 11:35 PM GMT
    Yes.
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    Nov 21, 2009 11:37 PM GMT
    I've answered this question at least 4 times here before, but the OP is new to RJ. The answer is yes, and I became partners with him, knowing he was poz. We had safe sex until he died of AIDS. I remain negative.
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    Nov 21, 2009 11:42 PM GMT
    This is always a hard question to answer, because safe sex is actually referred to as "safer sex". It's never guaranteed. Condoms break, mistakes happen, etc. The more often you're exposed to a virus, the more likely you are to become infected.

    If the guy's on meds and with an undetectable viral load, your chances of getting HIV are very small. It doesn't mean they're non-existent though, so each person has to decide what level of risk is acceptable for them.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Nov 22, 2009 12:07 AM GMT
    SeaSon saidThis is always a hard question to answer, because safe sex is actually referred to as "safer sex". It's never guaranteed. Condoms break, mistakes happen, etc. The more often you're exposed to a virus, the more likely you are to become infected.

    If the guy's on meds and with an undetectable viral load, your chances of getting HIV are very small. It doesn't mean they're non-existent though, so each person has to decide what level of risk is acceptable for them.



    I agree. But I would never not date a guy just b/c he has a Virus.
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    Nov 22, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    I am HIV-. My husband is HIV+.

    As much as I can get it...Wish he would give it to me now instead of me being on here.
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    Nov 25, 2009 11:42 PM GMT
    I agree that this a much needed discussion. Most guys only know fear... usually from lack of education.

    Season brought out some great points. It's called safer sex for a reason. There is no 100% guarantee. Condoms break, oral transmission, getting cum somewhere it shouldn't be like on your anus.

    Risk level is what you believe acceptable. There are many worse diseases you could have like cancer. At least HIV is manageable, and you can live a long and productive life.

    So Yes! Just taking the proper precautions to protect myself as much as possible. It's the person I am attracted too, their status is just part of them not who they are.
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Nov 25, 2009 11:50 PM GMT
    I find the "no" responses to be, uh, interesting. If you are doing the responsible thing and assuming that everyone you are intimate with is poz, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY SAY IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT, then you aren't having sex with anyone at all, are you? Are you?
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 26, 2009 12:02 AM GMT
    I'm pretty sure I've already answered this somewhere else. As I have said before, I understand and practice safe sex with those who I decide to have sexual relations. However, I won't intentionally put myself at risk just to have "random" sex. If I decide that I want to date someone who I know is HIV+, then after our feelings are mutual, we can have safe sex. The reason: too much could possibly go wrong, for instance, what if the condom broke? Then I would be subjecting myself to countless amounts of stress and worry just waiting to find out whether or not I've contracted something. It would be different if I were in love with the guy. I am not against getting to know someone who is HIV+. I would befriend pretty much anyone and let them have their shot at "wooing" me. In conlusion, just random fun or lustful sex....is not worth subjecting myself to that amount of stress.

    Basically its PROs versus CONs...

    Do I prefer the possibility of lifelong illness for instant gratification ? No.
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    Dec 03, 2009 11:50 PM GMT
    No
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    Dec 05, 2009 3:51 PM GMT
    I wouldn't. Condoms and other forms of safe sex are not effective 100% of the time. Why run the risk of possibly contracting HIV just for sex.
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    Dec 07, 2009 4:38 AM GMT
    Absolutely. A poz guy who tells me of his status before we have sex is a good guy, someone I can trust to work with me on avoiding HIV infection.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 07, 2009 4:47 AM GMT
    Never been in this situation before. I assume every body I have sex with is poz (including myself). Positive or not, I would play safe.

    But no one have ever come to me telling me his poz before having sex. So I cant answer this.
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    Dec 07, 2009 5:09 AM GMT
    My current partner is Neg and we have been together for 4 years (it will be 5 on 1/1/2010). Told my current partner the first night and he said it did not matter. I have been undetectable for 14 years and have been healthy the entire time.

    So, whether you have sex with a poz guy or not; do not hold it against them for having the virus. I have known guys to be cruel and there is no reason for that. If you practice safe sex, things should be fine; especially if you talk to each other. Being informed is very important.

    Each person has to make their own decision about what they can handle.
  • jingold04

    Posts: 122

    Dec 07, 2009 5:37 AM GMT
    The fact that the majority (not all,just most,unbunch the panties!) of "no's" is coming from the younger set says VOLUMES about sex education in our 21st century society. I'm beginning to think community service at an HIV clinic or fundraiser should be mandatory before you get your Gay card in the mail. Yeah,before the card,but after the free latte maker.
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    Dec 07, 2009 6:01 AM GMT
    No.
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    Dec 07, 2009 6:21 AM GMT
    My question is to those that answered NO is, Do you ALWAYS have "safe" or "safer" sex? If you don't you are only fooling YOURSELF.
  • thatonedude21

    Posts: 223

    Dec 07, 2009 6:35 AM GMT
    I would definitely have sex with someone that I knew was positive granted I found them sexually attractive on the inside and outside..
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    Dec 07, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    you're right nostrothomas....

    many guys will have 'safe(r)' sex with a partner who has identified himself as negative thinking that all is OK... i.e. they're following their preset boundaries of behavior. the potential partner may be lying about his status, may truly have tested negative but be in the seroconversion window or may simply not know his true status. all that's necessary is a (sometimes false) sense of security that their potential partner is not HIV+.

    what's amazing is how many guys would change their behavior if they knew that the partner is indeed HIV+, despite the fact that nothing has really changed. ignorance is bliss for many men.

    asking or wishing for HIV-negative partners won't ensure you get them... if you are negative and won't have sex with a partner you know is HIV+, but will have safe(r) sex with someone who is 'negative', you're fooling only yourself.

    and my answer to the OP question is 'yes'... I have and would do so again in the context of dating or a relationship.
  • NursePractiti...

    Posts: 232

    Dec 07, 2009 6:42 AM GMT
    In a heartbeat! I've dated two guys who I knew were poz, and it didn't stop me from being happy during that time. We were safe always. While HIV is something to worry about, there are a lot of other things you can catch. Hepatitis C, warts, etc. You should always be safe. Otherwise it doesn't matter if someone say's there negative or not, your taking a risk.
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:22 AM GMT
    No- it is one less thing that I wish worry about
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    Gayboi: your profile says you Always practive safe sex. If that is true do you have any idea how you contracted the virus, since you just tested positive? Seeking 2 learn. Sorry about the diagnosisicon_cry.gif