Wow, these are not very funny. Here's another oldie that used to seem humorous. Older guys might conceivably get a little chuckle:
It seems that Teddy (Kennedy) had an itching for a cabinet post, and he was just hanging around the (Clinton) white house, brown nosing at every opportunity. "Can I carry a message to Russia for you?" "Any legislation you need drafted?"
Bill said, "Hey, yeah, Teddy, there is something you could help me with. Could you give Monica a ride home?"
And here's another oldie that you plug and play the most recent names:
As Bush was handing over the codes and the keys to the oval office, he slipped three envelopes to Obama. "Things are going to go pretty well for you, for a few months, but when times start getting tough, open one of these envelopes."
Sure enough, this financial crisis thing started going south on Obama. Late one night in the oval office, he came across those envelopes. Curious, he opened the first one. Inside was a single sheet of paper that said simply, "BLAME ME." The next day, Obama made a speech that subtly pointed out that he was just cleaning the mess that Bush started. The opinion polls went back up, and all was well.
After a year or so, however, this whole foreign wars mess was taking it's toll. Obama opened the second envelope to find the message, "BLAME AFGHANISTAN." The next day, he rolled out his new war policy, pointing out that all the problems are caused by Hamid Karzai's corrupt government. People grumbled, but gave him the benefit of the doubt and all was well.
A year later, people still don't have jobs, Iran explodes a nuclear bomb, and a dozen of Obama's appointees have been caught with their hands in the till. He opens the last envelope and discovers the message:
"Prepare three envelopes..."