• Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 22, 2009 2:25 PM GMT
    This is the story! Ok my ex lets call him Juan and this other guy lets call him Brad. Ok so about 2 years ago I meet this guy named brad. Now I was still a teen and very young. And it was the start to my exploration with older men ;) he is 36 (i love guys 35+) So anyways the relationship started out amazing! you know how they say some burn hot but they burn out fast... Yea this was it... About 4months after we meet an never spent a day apart literaly we started arguing! I think we argued for 2 years straight! So basically I was with this guy 2 years past due! So we were off and on and this and that... So I Said enough! He ruined my credit. Im not getting anymore apartments in my name for him or cars... Hes 36... So I took off to Miami, Saw family and had my little Kourtney Khloe Kardashian moment... So he begs me to come back! Same shit! So I said forget it! Ill stay out this lease (the apartments in my damn name) and then we will be done! Ok So he has this hot friend whos always having parties... 2 years ago at one of his parties I meet "Brad" SOOOO CUTE and easy to talk to smart AND HAS HIS OWN APARTMENT AND CAR! I didnt even get his name. So for 2 year I really did think about "Brad" off and on... No joke! I Tried finding him on facebook everything! So saturday! At a party! I saw him again! I got his name number and we were a little drunk so we went to the car kissed and sobered up then we talked... This is starting up the complete opposite of the relationship with Juan. But I dont want to be in the situation where people think im attached to my ex! I dont want him to talk to anybody else! Ive been dying to meet somebody that im compatible with thats cute and everything ive dreamed of! Should i go for it now? or wait! and take a chance?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16308

    Nov 22, 2009 2:32 PM GMT
    Well..... I would say that you use a different tactic to meeting men than I would ever employ, but this being the case I would suggest a couple of things....

    1. Get to know Brad. Make sure he's a solid dude, can pay his own way so you don't have to support him the way you did your ex (which was ridiculous by the way)

    2. Be honest and clear with all. If your done with your ex, make sure everyone knows it.. ... including the ex and Brad.

    3.Rely upon yourself. Its cool if you like older men, but I'd suggest you not rely on them unless they are worthy of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 22, 2009 3:06 PM GMT
    qbanjock said...Should i go for it now? or wait! and take a chance?

    Go for it. You're 25 and can afford to take chances, with plenty of time ahead of you to recover if it doesn't turn out well.

    At least that's my philosophical viewpoint, not knowing you or Brad or Juan. And I don't see why anyone would think you're attached to your ex, but in our gay world I suppose mouths would flap if you and your ex were seen wearing the same color shoes. Don't get mired in the shallow drama of others.

    BTW, my partner & I go down to MB occasionally during the day, we enjoy meeting guys from RJ for drinks, makes these threads a little more "real." Maybe we can have the pleasure of your company at a table along Ocean Drive sometime.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 22, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    He can DEFINATELY pay his own dues... But its kind of wierd and makes me a LITTLE apprehinsive about dating him since he is still single and we meet 2 years ago... I found myself texting him this morning seeing if he had a good time last night... I made it a point to wake up at 2 am drive 20 mins to see him for about 5 mins... I really like him... But i dont want to ruin it by seeming to envolved... The whole attached to the ex thing is because we still live together... (we live on different sides of the apartment in different rooms) It sucks my lease is up in february... I want him soo bad.. but i dont want to lust after him.. which was kind of the burn hot and fast situation with "juan" and i dont want to drag him into drama... ugh my head is SPINNING!