DATING PEERS

  • victor8

    Posts: 237

    Nov 24, 2009 6:16 PM GMT
    want to hear your expience on this....i get hit on by lots of youner guys...i like that...but would ultimately enjoy dating a guy around my age...but most guys in my peer group seem uninterested and are chasing young tail...i admit to being a bit guilty too...but i do aproach guys my age and generally get nowhere...opimions...advise...agree...disagree
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Nov 24, 2009 6:41 PM GMT
    I used to go for older than me, saw this guy in fuck buddy capacity but we were closer than that and exclusive so it was a weird sort of hybrid but defo not a relationship, for 1 year and i thought he was 35 as he had told me until for his actual birthday i said happy 36th and he said actually im 42! wow! but he was very very fit and lovely...but we had little in common not much to talk about...i met this other guy 1 year older than me, and now im in a relationship with him, fully in love, and we have lots of stuff in common we can talk movies, tv, politics, random stuff...he's a conservative (tory) i;m a liberal (hybrid liberal democrat and labour) but i guess with people you consider your peers its easier for a relationship to flourish
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    Nov 24, 2009 7:05 PM GMT
    Sex can be any/all legal ages in the mix.

    However, relationships require commonalities of life experience, intellectual context, etc.

    Some younger will always pursue the perceived stability and surety of older, while other youngers will disdain it outright. But the older will almost always be enamored by the allure and vitality of youth. It's human nature. It's like looking at gold when it sparkles.

    It's all rather simple, even if rife with potential complications.
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    Nov 24, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    I think there is something to be said for dating someone close to your own age. There are lots of commonalities that make hanging out so much more fun. Everything from music, to historic and social events that are specific to certain generations, TV shows, perspectives of technology and how it is used... all kinds of things you don't think about till the happy little coincidence pops up and you realize there are many connections.
    The other side of the coin is that frequently with guys I've dated that are around my age, they get competitive with me. And I'm so *NOT* a competitive guy and I don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone so that behavior is a total turn off for me.
    I'm frequently attracted to guys that are at least 5 years older than me. They seem to appreciate my love of life without being threatened by it. Older men seem to know how to exchange and move on from, "I'm sorry" or "Shit I totally fucked up" without it being a huge ordeal.
    Older men "generally" know more things that make life easier. Like how to preorder champagne at a show so you don't have to stand in line at intermission, install a sink, hold a baby, listen without judgment, get upgrades on the flights where you *really* need them... I could go on. I think it's more about the connection you establish with someone and the intimacy that is derived from that connection, regardless of the age.
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    Nov 24, 2009 7:19 PM GMT
    victor8 saidwant to hear your expience on this....i get hit on by lots of youner guys...i like that...but would ultimately enjoy dating a guy around my age...but most guys in my peer group seem uninterested and are chasing young tail...i admit to being a bit guilty too...but i do aproach guys my age and generally get nowhere...opimions...advise...agree...disagree

    I was dating a lot when I was exactly your age. And I had a "5-up, 5-down" rule about age, not at all interested in "youngsters" or senior citizens, which I have subsequently become myself.

    I don't know what Palm Springs offers you for age peers, but you imply chasing young tail takes a lot of them off the market. Foolish guys! Don't they know the best is their own generation?

    What attracts me about a guy is compatibility, and that tends to follow generational lines. It's best for me when we both grew up with the same cultural reference points, the same movies, TV, music and so forth. I can't even understand the vocabulary of young kids, even if they have great bodies. I simply can't relate to them at all.

    Perhaps your key is relating to your own age group, and getting them to relate to you. Persuade them that depth is more attractive than shallowness. Offer them something the kids can't: nostalgia and familiarity. Give them the warm & cozy feeling of their own youth, and maybe they won't go off chasing someone else's youth.
  • victor8

    Posts: 237

    Nov 24, 2009 9:00 PM GMT
    LOL...as far as dyed hair...there is another topic for another day...i'd never color mine..and can spot a dye job from blocks away...plus too much trouble...i take really good care of myself in every way....spiritually, emotionally, physically, and nutrionally...after that what ya see is what ya get..
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Nov 24, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    When I was a kid, I almost never seriously dated anyone my own age, always at least ten years older. In my thirties I started having relationships with men my own age. I can't imagine having a serious relationship with someone in their twenties anymore. I have some acquatances s in my social circle that age and I find them kind of immature and annoying...
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    Nov 25, 2009 4:16 AM GMT
    i agree that attraction has no limits in terms of age. however being in a relationship with someone is a lot more complicated.

    having similar stages in life experience and age does make a big difference
  • victor8

    Posts: 237

    Nov 25, 2009 4:30 AM GMT
    the question is not as much about age groups dating other age groups as much as it is about mature men dating other mature men and not chasing young tail. which i admit i love...but more about why it is that peers dont date eachother
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 25, 2009 4:32 AM GMT
    you mean why "mature peers" don't date each other...i seek someone within my age range. I do find some older men very attractive and don't rule them out, but u know......whatever...i got tired of typing out my opinions....disregard this.