Fess up! You were a being a dumbass and you got hurt. Brag about it!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2007 9:18 PM GMT
    I was 17 and set myself on fire making liquor.

    I didn't have any older friends, so I became industrious and built a still (you would think my parents would have intervened at the brewing of the wort stage). I had a good gallon of firewater strength moonshine and I wanted to make a small batch of absinthe. I was trying to speed up the maceration in the microwave when the solution reached that critical temperature and flashed. I barely had time to instinctively brace my arms for the impact when it exploded in flames. The door smashed into my forearms, I was sprayed with flaming alcohol. My hair and eyebrows caught on fire. My right ear and my stomache were sliced by glass. My mom came in the kitchen from the adjoining room and screamed at me about the microwave as im trying to put my flaming head out. Fucked up woman by I kinda love her.

    Oh, and I kept making alcohol after the incident. They didn't stop me for quite a while.
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    Dec 24, 2007 10:40 PM GMT
    Are you sure you aren't really Dennis the Menace?
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Dec 25, 2007 1:40 PM GMT
    lol, ouch. Those all kinda suck a lot.

    When I was 4 or 5 or maybe 6 (I can't remember anymore, lol) I tried to get a bag out of a tree branch that was hanging over top of a chain-link fence that had twisted wire tips at the top. I slipped, fell, and saw what I thought was a giant peach slice on the ground. At that point, I noticed that my arm was throbbing somewhat, so I looked at my arm only to discover that I'd ripped a giant chunk out of it. Turns out that peach slice...was actually a slice of my arm. It was approximately 5" in diameter, and I could see my muscle pulsing in the gaping hole. I ran into a nearby convenience store screeching, babbling on about how I hoped I could get butterfly tape for it (lol, I was terrified of getting stitches). I remember lying on the hospital bed while the doctor told my mother they might have to amputate my arm. He was standing at the foot of my bed...not quite the ideal location to drop that little tid-bit. Luckily, all worked out, and somehow I managed not to snap any nerves, I only stretched them. 21 stitches later I got to keep my arm, and oddly enough no one ever notices the scar until I point it out to them...and it's the entire width of my forearm.

    Hurray for close calls.
  • morholt

    Posts: 57

    Dec 25, 2007 2:56 PM GMT
    When I was 5 or six, on christmas eve, I was so excited I was jumping up and down, I slipped (new slippers...) hit the coffee table and knocked myself out. My sister found me unconcious in front of the chritmas tree.
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    Dec 25, 2007 5:06 PM GMT
    Drunk waterskiing on a glass-like lake.

    Cracked 2 ribs. Ouch....icon_cry.gif
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    Dec 25, 2007 6:00 PM GMT
    When I was 7, I decided to play paratrooper off of a slide. I jumped from the top of the slide and intended to grab one of the side poles, swinging down to safety GI Joe style.

    Wha had happen was ... I ended up cracking my head on the pole and I slightly chipped one of my front teeth. icon_redface.gif Needless to say, my mom immediately took away our GI Joe's and gave me an erector set. Good Times!
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    Dec 25, 2007 7:00 PM GMT
    I was on a tricylce and my brother was pushing me and we hit a hose in the garage and I hit my chin on the floor because I was too dumb to let go. That was, like, 2 years ago, so I'm over it.

    I think erector sets are what made me gay.
  • Artesin

    Posts: 482

    Dec 25, 2007 10:34 PM GMT
    Haha oh wow I think that alcohol story made my week. I was 5 I decided to take an 80 lb dog for a walk, while wearing 2 right flip flops, dog saw another dog and I get dragged abbout 7 feet before my mom could grab the lead >.<, two week later I step on a 3 inch tall 1 inch thick peice of glass, miss halloween and spend it in the emergency room, though not before I drip about half a litre of blood on the living room floor before I tell my parents anything.
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    Dec 25, 2007 10:55 PM GMT
    Well, this will seem really stupid in this group, but...

    About 5-10 years ago, I was finishing a workout at the gym, and I was doing a lunge stretch parallel to the wall, lunging into my right leg, with my left leg closest to the wall. I started turning to my left to lunge into my other leg, and all of a sudden I find myself on the floor. I hadn't noticed that there was a industrial pipe sticking out from the wall, and I hit my forehead on it and cut open my head. I got a friend to take me to the emergency room to have them check it out. No stitches, but some hurt pride.

  • Jase71

    Posts: 13

    Dec 25, 2007 11:26 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]LOVESICKMOTHERFUCKER said[/cite]

    I can't top that.... It kinda make you feel better when you hear of someone else being a bigger idiot than you....
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    Jan 05, 2008 3:51 PM GMT
    Lovesick, I'm laughing so hard, my abs hurt! Oh man, that's good.

    Ok, ok....let's see. There was the time - probably about 4 - that I was attempting to jump onto the the tallest/largest of a series of concrete tubes (something that would never be allowed ON A PLAYGROUND these days!).

    They look like this but they were painted colorfully. Cuz you know, they were on a PLAYGROUND!


    I had managed the smaller ones, over and over but this last one stood there like Mt. Everest. So, finally screwing up the courage to make the leap, I jumped and TA DA made it!

    I was so excited that I started waving my arms in the air shouting my excitement (you see this coming, right), lost my balance and pow. Did I mention that these concrete cylinders were situated on a slab of concrete?

    So, I started up the hill with blood pouring down my face and, before passing out (quite dramatically I'm sure) I see a couple of teachers rushing toward me.