You meet and he looks nothing like his pics...

  • GoodPup

    Posts: 752

    Nov 28, 2009 5:10 PM GMT
    What do you guys do? I once went to meet a HOT guy based on his pictures. Showed up and it was an old, overweight man that looked nothing like his pics. I was so weirded out and didn't have the guts to leave... now I wish I would have.

    Have you guys had this happen? What did you do or what would you do?
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    Nov 28, 2009 6:04 PM GMT
    Happened to me once. The guy wasn't horrible looking, but I left anyway and told him why.

    I figure if you stay it gives the message that faking your pics is OK.
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    Nov 29, 2009 4:35 PM GMT
    Me too...I said "well, this isn't what was represented to me. Sorry if you're offended but this isn't going to work for me" You dont have to be specific other than that. They know what they did.
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Nov 29, 2009 4:41 PM GMT
    just leave...if hes nothing like his pix obviously it was all a lie, so better leave
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    Nov 29, 2009 4:48 PM GMT
    It's happened to a lot of us. It's hard, but you should flat out tell them and make it good and awkward (they deserve it).
    I even had a guy lie about who he was for over a year, then when I finally found out who he was I couldn't believe I was suckered in that easy. I always had my suspicions though. I still don't get why someone would lie like that or even embellish. What's the point, unless you're never going to meet someone? Hey wait, maybe that's how you get people to actually say hi to you.
    On the plus side, that guy ended up setting me up with my current job icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 29, 2009 4:49 PM GMT
    JaseinOC saidWhat do you guys do? I once went to meet a HOT guy based on his pictures. Showed up and it was an old, overweight man that looked nothing like his pics. I was so weirded out and didn't have the guts to leave... now I wish I would have.

    Have you guys had this happen? What did you do or what would you do?


    Turn around and leave
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    Nov 29, 2009 4:53 PM GMT
    JaseinOC saidWhat do you guys do? I once went to meet a HOT guy based on his pictures. Showed up and it was an old, overweight man that looked nothing like his pics. I was so weirded out and didn't have the guts to leave... now I wish I would have.

    Have you guys had this happen? What did you do or what would you do?


    Happened sometime

    What you should do is to ask for current pics or ask how old the pics before meeting..
    if when you meet and he looks materially different, just tell him that you do not feel the requisite attraction.

    You do not owe him more than this. He will know full well what you are talking about anyhow and will let the matter drop. unless of course he's a nutcase
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 29, 2009 5:03 PM GMT
    It has only happened to me when they have no picture. I no longer meet anyone that doesn't have a picture. If someone doesn't have a picture, they have serious issues, least of which is their looks.

    The last time, the guy told me he looked like "Kenny Chesney"(which I don't think is nice looking anyway), but he actually looked more like Uncle Fester, even though he was younger than me. I didn't immediately leave because like on the phone we got along fine, but I did feel somewhat mislead.

    Thankfully I have never met someone just because of their "hot" pictures. They have to have a good personality too, such as in a phone conversation, and not talk about sex and looks ad nauseam.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:05 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidIt has only happened to me when they have no picture. I no longer meet anyone that doesn't have a picture. If someone doesn't have a picture, they have serious issues, least of which is their looks.

    The last time, the guy told me he looked like "Kenny Chesney"(which I don't think is nice looking anyway), but he actually looked more like Uncle Fester, even though he was younger than me. I didn't immediately leave because like on the phone we got along fine, but I did feel somewhat mislead.

    Thankfully I have never met someone just because of their "hot" pictures. They have to have a good personality too, such as in a phone conversation, and not talk about sex and looks ad nauseam.


    Same exact for me. Though really it wasn't his looks that got me so much as his personality - he slowly became a bit of a creep (slowly as in within two weeks...) Just walk away - you have NO obligations at that point.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    This is why i always like to see guys on cam first (doesn't have to be sexual), but it gives u an idea better than pictures. I dont trust pics at all, so when I see these profiles that say pics or they wont contact I just laugh because anybody can put up pics of anything. On cam you know for sure.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    I like to hear the words..wow..you look better in person...
    I have no idea what people are thinking when their pictures not only look better than they do, but often are not even them...

    It is my opinion that something should be said it should not be left un-spoken.

    Any time this has happened, and it has happened on more than once..
    I have confronted the person directly.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:14 PM GMT
    DrEric saidI like to hear the words..wow..you look better in person...
    I have no idea what people are thinking when their pictures not only look better than they do, but often are not even them...

    It is my opinion that something should be said it should not be left un-spoken.

    Any time this has happened, and it has happened on more than once..
    I have confronted the person directly.


    i do get the you look better than yr pics all the time. i firmly believe it is always better to under promise and over deliver. icon_biggrin.gif

    one of the things you will find especially on sites such as bigmuscle etc., many guys get their pics professionally taken and there is some airbrushing involved and perfect lighting etc...

    of course when you meet in person such staging is no longer possible, but you have already created the fantasy around the online image. so of course you will be disappointment...

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    Nov 29, 2009 5:18 PM GMT
    Well, I sorta have a different story, that was my own fault:

    I'd been chatting with several guys online, and they sent me their pics, as I did mine. But goofball that I am, I get them mixed up, and assigned them to the wrong guys!

    So one guy really interests me, and we talk on the phone, and I fly to meet him. He's in the terminal waiting area, and... he's not the guy I expected! I did recognize him from his pic, but not the guy I was expecting! And quite frankly, not as good looking. Talk about your major confusion!

    But I disguised my feelings, and got into the hired limousine he had waiting outside. (Driven, incidentally, by the son of the woman upon whom the musical "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" is based, and who gave us a signed copy of his autobiography, dealing with living there as a kid!)

    So we go to his place, and he's a total doll, even if he's not the guy I was expecting, due to my own stupidity. And you know what? I fell in love with him, and we became partners.

    I suppose not the same deception situation we're discussing here, but maybe at times you need to keep an open mind, and heart. icon_biggrin.gif
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Nov 29, 2009 5:22 PM GMT
    Just say I'm leaving man. You don't look like your pics at all.
    No explanation needed...he may offer some lame explanation, but you are under NO OBLIGATION to stay and do anything!!! icon_twisted.gif

    That's actually why I press guys hard on the picture issue. I say right up front that I need to see a picture so that there are no surprises, and we both know what we're gonna get. So the foundation has been laid. AND...I think I look better in person than my pics. LOL
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 29, 2009 5:22 PM GMT
    yea, i've had this happen so many times. I hate fake profiles and misleading pictures. Thats why I try to stay current with mine. I also love hearing the words "you look better in person". Which seems to happen everytime. Its actually something I look forward to when meeting......oh so vain lol.

    When I meet someone who looks nothing like their pics, I let them know. A couple of months ago after I moved, I tried to meet somone, his pics showed nice tight abs and was just an inshape looking guy. When I met him.....he was all flab. So I asked him if I was how he expected me to be just to get on the subject. He answered how I expected, then I told him what I thought. Shortly after that, I left. He was definitely not happy, but I hate it when someone misleads like that.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:24 PM GMT
    happened to me once- we were to meet in a book store. after milling around for a half hour, the fat old dude who'd been sneaking stares at me the whole time walked over and said he was it. i just laughed and left- said sorry, but i don't have time for liars.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:26 PM GMT
    I've had this happen only once and it was really infuriating.

    This guy claimed to be 25 and sent pictures (multiple) of a really great looking, nicely built guy. Not too hot to be believed, just the cute All-American boy good looks.

    What I ended up meeting was an unshaven, 300 lb guy in a food-stained t-shirt and those sweatpants with elastic around the ankles and flip flops on. He obviously did not own such exotic things as soap, shampoo and laundry detergent or he'd never ventured down that aisle in the supermarket.

    I was to meet him at a coffee shop on the mezannine of a very upscale mall (his choice). I saw this guy that stuck out like a sore thumb when I walked in and wondered to myself what kind of person would go to this sort of mall looking like that. 30 seconds after I sat down at a table in the opposite corner of the seating area I (unfortunately) found out as he approached my table.

    Generally I try to always conduct myself with a certain level of class and decorum. I don't believe in making scenes nor belittling someone. I simply looked at him and asked if we knew each other. He said "Yes, I'm Jason" (the name he used online). My response was "Be that as it may, exactly who was that in the pictures you sent me?" He explained that he sent photos he'd ripped off of some other dating site, thinking he was quite clever. One thing I do not do well...or at all... is hide my disdain for someone. The look I was giving him was one that I inherited from my Mother - you know - that look she gives and you pray you're not the one that made her look that way. This guy was oblivious.

    I just looked at him and said "This is unacceptable. Not unbelievable, but unacceptable". I stood up to leave and he stood up with me and actually asked "Where do you want to go now - dinner like we talked about?" I stopped and said "I'm going home - you're free to go wherever you want to because this conversation is ended". I then tried to leave with some dignity intact.

    This guy actually exploded at me verbally, accusing me of being superficial and shallow just like all the rest, and he only used the photos because if I really knew what he looked like I'd have never met him, and that the person I'd been e-mailing with was really him. I stopped once more and said "I cannot even be friends with someone who begins something with outright deception. You cannot be trusted - period - because you have no integrity. Not only are you not a gentleman, you're not much of a man. Difficult as it is, I find your attitude far more disgusting than you're appearance."

    Leaving the coffee shop I was on a dead pace for the Jeep with Jabba the Hut in tow, still trying to talk to me and intermittently hurling insults at me. I managed to get out of there and it was a year before I set foot back in that mall again.

    Not only did this guy not look like the pics sent - He was a real Jeckyl and Hyde personality wise too.
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Nov 29, 2009 5:26 PM GMT
    MercuryMax saidyea, i've had this happen so many times. I hate fake profiles and misleading pictures. Thats why I try to stay current with mine. I also love hearing the words "you look better in person". Which seems to happen everytime. Its actually something I look forward to when meeting......oh so vain lol.

    When I meet someone who looks nothing like their pics, I let them know. A couple of months ago after I moved, I tried to meet somone, his pics showed nice tight abs and was just an inshape looking guy. When I met him.....he was all flab. So I asked him if I was how he expected me to be just to get on the subject. He answered how I expected, then I told him what I thought. Shortly after that, I left. He was definitely not happy, but I hate it when someone misleads like that.


    Amen Max! icon_lol.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 29, 2009 5:30 PM GMT
    You know, I rarely get that "you look better than your pictures" anymore. Usually if I say something like "your pictures don't do you justice" they are like "really? Thanks! You look exactly like your pictures!" I guess that's ok too.

    Actually, a few of the guys I've dated from meeting online actually seem giddy to meet me, which is a good feeling. I guess there are a lot of creeps and losers out there they've had to go on dates with too!
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:31 PM GMT
    MercuryMax said...but I hate it when someone misleads like that.

    Yeah, deliberately misleading with a pic is a non-starter. I will tell you, however, that of the RJ guys I've met in person, every one of them looked EXACTLY like their pic, so that I could easily recognize them upon our first meeting.

    Their pics were current, honest and non-deceptive. I believe the majority of guys here are the same. The integrity of RJ guys in all ways is one of the reasons this gay social site has become my favorite. icon_biggrin.gif
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 29, 2009 5:33 PM GMT
    ChicagoBriguy,


    You handled yourself well. I'd hate to be in a situation lke that. Even though I already have, I'd hate to have to do it again.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 29, 2009 5:34 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    MercuryMax said...but I hate it when someone misleads like that.

    Yeah, deliberately misleading with a pic is a non-starter. I will tell you, however, that of the RJ guys I've met in person, every one of them looked EXACTLY like their pic, so that I could easily recognize them upon our first meeting.

    Their pics were current, honest and non-deceptive. I believe the majority of guys here are the same. The integrity of RJ guys in all ways is one of the reasons this gay social site has become my favorite. icon_biggrin.gif



    I've never had the chance to meet anyone off RJ.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 29, 2009 5:36 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    MercuryMax said...but I hate it when someone misleads like that.

    Yeah, deliberately misleading with a pic is a non-starter. I will tell you, however, that of the RJ guys I've met in person, every one of them looked EXACTLY like their pic, so that I could easily recognize them upon our first meeting.

    Their pics were current, honest and non-deceptive. I believe the majority of guys here are the same. The integrity of RJ guys in all ways is one of the reasons this gay social site has become my favorite. icon_biggrin.gif


    Tis true. Every guy I know personally that has a profile on RJ looks like the real thing, hotness and all.
  • Neon_Dreams

    Posts: 352

    Nov 29, 2009 5:39 PM GMT
    Try this method. Start crying hysterically with your face in your hands... Make a big scene and storm out of the house, coffee shop whatever. And, lastly- yell "Internet predator! Bad touch! Stranger!"...

    I think we ought to shame the fakers.

    Also, if your pic is not current, you should indicate so on your profile! If you look 18 in your pictures, you ought to look 18 when we meet in public. On my profile I post the month and year on most of my outdated pics.

    Let's get real men! We are real jocks.


    Joe- Man of the Day!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 29, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    I've never met someone for relationship reasons. They few people I have met up with always seemed to have represented themselves well. I've found many people look slimmer in person than their pics online.