Those awkard "I almost dated you" moments

  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Nov 29, 2009 8:40 AM GMT
    I hung out with this guy a few times over a year ago. I thought he was cute but didn't know him well, and he was quiet so the few times we hung out didn't help.

    He decided to just stop talking to me at some point. I'm pretty sure it's because I didn't want to fuck right away, but thats not the issue.

    I see him out every once in a while, and he's always got a different guy with him, usually someone I know, and he just awkwardly looks at me and then pretends he doesn't know who I am.

    What the hell?

    I still try to say hi. In the past when people have been awkward like that I've walked right up like nothing had ever happened and asked how their life was. I didn't really have the time or motivation tonight, though... I was rather enthralled with the bands that were playing.

    Anyways... I guess what I'm wondering is what would drive someone to act so awkwardly. Why not still be friendly and just say hi? It's not like there was a bad breakup, or any breakup for that matter. Nothing weird happened that would make it awkward, except the way he started acting after the fact.

    Any thoughts?
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    Nov 29, 2009 8:45 AM GMT
    lol he has issues, you don't. One of the reasons we like you so much.

    -Bill right now (I'm so mad at slow youtube - keeps cutting out!) Doug gone upstairs for snacks.
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    Nov 29, 2009 4:43 PM GMT
    Oh God, how typical is this? This happened once with a guy who really liked me when we went on a date - it was largely my fault to be fair. I really should have planned the date more, and not been as awkward in terms of expressing that I liked him too, I just wasn't eager to jump in the sack with a stranger. We all learn I guess.

    Anyway, every time he would see me he would say hi in the most awkward way, with these rapidly shifting eyes that refused to look at me directly. It was ridiculous. I finally asked if we could talk one night to clear the air a bit, to which he said yes, and then he ran away immediately after. Which only made things more awkward every time I saw him. Bizarre.

    Anyway, suffice to say there are a lot of people in the gay world who don't know how to communicate particularly well, nor conduct themselves in a very adult fashion. Myself included - I should have been less confusing on that date, and perhaps I'd be happily dating a great guy. Just take it as a lesson and make sure that when you have an issue that causes you to stare at someone oddly, sack up, go up to them, and deal with that issue.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:19 PM GMT
    Some people just don;t have really good social skills. I doubt it has anything to do with you. It's a shame, really, because it makes life really difficult for people like that.
  • bigguysf

    Posts: 329

    Nov 29, 2009 5:25 PM GMT
    Male pride is a funny thing. Guys don't like any hint of rejection, real or imagined. And when you add to it the lack of good communication skills, it's never a good mix!
    All you can do is make sure your side of the street is clean. If you weren't a dick to him then it shouldn't matter. Guys just gotta realize that sometimes the chemistry just ain't there. icon_neutral.gif
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:36 PM GMT

    He's wounded. His advances were not received and he's chosen to handle the rejection like a 5yr old toddler. This should be a small window for you to see his character and what a friendship w/ him might be like. I'd say you've made a decent effort to establish a friendly repor if he's not open to that...........move on.
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    Nov 29, 2009 8:02 PM GMT
    My advice: Move on. He's a fucking loser. You don't need him. Be cordial if the need arises, otherwise, don't worry about it.
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    Nov 29, 2009 8:13 PM GMT


    Wow. Thank God it's not just me!

    The same thing happened to me a while back.

    I met this guy, he was really cute and we seemed to have lots in common. We went out on a few dates, never slept together, then he just seemed to lose interest. All the while professing his interest in me.

    So, we didn't speak for like a year. I'm still not sure why.

    I see him out every now and then, and he's always with someone new....I usually know them, and he pretends he doesn't know me sometimes.

    Very awkward.

    I could live with this, except whenever he's totally wasted, he wants to have these deep meaningful heart-to-heart talks. He tells me, "I really regret never getting the chance to be more than friends with you."

    Really, douchebag?

    Fuck off.

    I unfriended him on Facebook. That'll show him.icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 8:18 PM GMT
    Long time ago I was waiting tables while going thru school.
    One of the first guys that had ever bottomed for me came in and I waited on him, he totally ignored me.
    I at first figured he didn’t want the people he was with to know what he did behind closet doors.
    He IM’ed me a week later, I asked about it and he had no memories of me waiting on him.
    I didn’t dwell on it, but let advance me on the learning curve and moved on.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Nov 29, 2009 9:43 PM GMT
    meninlove: Thanks icon_smile.gif


    Chucky: You're absolutely right.


    jprichva: You funny.
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    Nov 29, 2009 9:54 PM GMT
    I'm a notorious unfriender on Facebook, I have just under 400 friends. Keeping up with all of them is sometimes a job in and of itself, no time for freakshows.

    As far as *your* freakshows peculiar and uncomfortable behavior. Count yourself as lucky, had it gone on any longer you might have learned that 'this particular' personality quirk is really the tip of a ginormous ice berg of social dysfunction that you couldn't just ignore and pretend never happened.
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    Nov 29, 2009 9:56 PM GMT
    lol 'ginormous' - hey fellow unicorn!
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    Nov 29, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    I just think some guys are addicted to awkward and dramatic moments. I dated this one guy a few times and red flags went up when he started talking about long term things like family and kids and holidays together. Anyway, I ended it after a few more awkward things and then got a message the next day with him singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" sobbing thru the line "I'd rather live in his world, then live without him in mine. I didn't return the call for obvious he's-nuts-and-wants-to-wear-my-skin-as-a-suit reasons

    Cut to a few weeks later. I see him out in the club and I say "Hello" He freaks out and starts texting me "Do I have any idea how I broke his heart" How dare I say "Hello" Needless to say, when I saw him out after that I pretended I didn't see him or know who he was, I can only imagine the version of the story he tells his friends
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Nov 29, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    I think the OP has two options

    1) be an asshole to the guy, so that he comes to the conclusion he should count himself lucky you didn't accept his advances.

    2) continue being a sweetheart and let him gnash his teeth in envy.

    Either way, he's not friend material for you in the condition he's in.

    To EasilyDistracted... I just cleaned house. Deleted over 250 FBriends, as we call Facebook "friends". I feel so much less burdened.... and I have to read "Thank God it's Friday" about 18 fewer times per week.
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    Nov 29, 2009 10:13 PM GMT
    Not to play Devil's Advocate, but when you say the guy "looks awkwardly" at you when you see him out in public, could there be any chance he is trying to figure out where he's seen you? Just saying............I'm that way. There are some people I've maybe known slightly (i.e. hooked up with in the distant past) and I really, truly don't remember them. I've seen people like that in public and honestly, they look sort of familiar, but not enough to remember them well enough to speak. I guess I could go up to someone and say, "Do I look familiar to you?" "Have we ever.....uh, you know - - -uh, met?" The craziest situation like that I can remember was the time I met a guy at a club, went home with him (following in my own car) and only when I saw his house - did I realize I'd been there before! I remembered his house - - but not him. Aww, the old days of nameless / faceless hook ups.
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    Nov 29, 2009 11:07 PM GMT
    thatguy520 said. Anyway, I ended it after a few more awkward things and then got a message the next day with him singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" sobbing thru the line "I'd rather live in his world, then live without him in mine...


    This is the funniest thing I have read in a while, proof that life is in fact stranger than fiction.
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    Nov 29, 2009 11:17 PM GMT
    innerathlete said
    thatguy520 said. Anyway, I ended it after a few more awkward things and then got a message the next day with him singing "Midnight Train to Georgia" sobbing thru the line "I'd rather live in his world, then live without him in mine...


    This is the funniest thing I have read in a while, proof that life is in fact stranger than fiction.


    LOL It's not even the funniest part of the whole story/ experience. I've really thought about writing a book called "life after dating" about the crazy things that have gone on in my life after dating some guys!
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Nov 29, 2009 11:19 PM GMT
    they have issues with confrontation.
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    Nov 29, 2009 11:29 PM GMT
    TheIStrat saidSome people just don;t have really good social skills. I doubt it has anything to do with you. It's a shame, really, because it makes life really difficult for people like that.


    Totally agree.

    I'd forget about this guy. You see him around, wave or say hi (to show that you're still a functioning member of society) and leave it at that.
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    Nov 29, 2009 11:31 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    thatguy520 said I didn't return the call for obvious he's-nuts-and-wants-to-wear-my-skin-as-a-suit reasons

    That really did make me laugh out loud.


    you should have been in the room when i got it. My phone is notoriously loud and my then-roommate heard it and literally fell down laughing
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 29, 2009 11:32 PM GMT
    I think I might have some social skill issues myself. Every time someone I know waves to me at a bar I look behind my back to see who they are waving at.
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    Nov 29, 2009 11:44 PM GMT

    Celticmusl saidI think I might have some social skill issues myself. Every time someone I know waves to me at a bar I look behind my back to see who they are waving at.


    If they were me, they'd know to come and grab ya, fondle ya a bit. It's a gay bar, that's allowed.devil smiley emoticon Pictures, Images and Photos

  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 29, 2009 11:58 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Celticmusl saidI think I might have some social skill issues myself. Every time someone I know waves to me at a bar I look behind my back to see who they are waving at.


    If they were me, they'd know to come and grab ya, fondle ya a bit. It's a gay bar, that's allowed.devil smiley emoticon Pictures, Images and Photos



    I know, right? You don't get milk from a cow by waving at it.