Death of a lover in a road crash in Rome

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 10:05 AM GMT
    Today I am feeling very melancholy.

    I had a week's business in Rome around two years ago when I met Maurizio while I was having a coffee near to the Piazza del Popolo.

    This beautiful muscular and handsome man parked his Vespa, took off his helmet near to where I was sitting and there was an instant and deep attraction when we saw one another.

    I had to race off to a meeting so we exchanged phone numbers - and I was waiting like a love sick teenager to hear back from the text messages I had sent him... I couldn't believe how smitten I was by this man!

    At last that night came a message that he would pick me up from my hotel on his scooter and show me 'his Rome'. So we covered his Rome - me on the back pillion holding on to him - feeling his body under this shirt - he every now and then grabbing the lower part of my leg and squeezing it - it was incredibly sexy, romantic and with the balmy night air - perfect.

    He took me to a shop he owned after hours and told me of his plans to move to a better part of Rome before we went back to his apartment not far from Popolo - in the Leopardo district.

    I spent the entire week with him whenever I could before flying out - and it was so hard leaving Rome - but being the hard head I am I thought that it was all too good to be true. But we had so much to talk about - it was a golden week.

    As time passed, we communicated less and less - but for some reason he crossed my mind last night - so I googled his name and shop - and an article came up in the online newspaper La Repubblica Roma IT that reported his death in a scooter accident.

    Prophetically, when we met he had had a minor accident a week before when he swerved to miss an old woman - he had a few bruises and a grazed elbow .

    So today he has occupied all of my thoughts - I have re-lived our first meeting, our racing around Rome on his scooter, waiting for him at a cafe on Popolo, cooking, eating, making love....

    Life is precious - the week with Maurizio has become a benchmark for me as to how good it can be between two men - intense, sexy, masculine, fun - albeit very brief. My meditations on Maurizio make me sad and happy at the same time - all I am left with now is the question of 'what if' - what if I had tossed everything in Oz and left to live with him as we discussed - who knows? - but the one place I felt that I could share my experience was RJ - anybody else had a similar experience?
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    Nov 29, 2009 10:16 AM GMT
    ... I should add that the experience has also made it hard for me to move on - as my expectations as to what to expect from a relationship or friendship have changed remarkably since meeting Maurizio
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Nov 29, 2009 1:21 PM GMT
    Hug from me. Take care
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Nov 29, 2009 1:22 PM GMT
    What a beautifully romantic story. Sorry to hear of your loss.
    Peace-
    JC
  • reload16

    Posts: 267

    Nov 29, 2009 1:33 PM GMT
    gosh that was one of the most romantic things I heardicon_smile.gif It reminds me of the movie "under the tuscan sun" for some reason.

    I am sorry for your loss icon_sad.gif
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Nov 29, 2009 2:07 PM GMT
    Sorry for your loss Ozmuscle2!
  • Menergy_1

    Posts: 737

    Nov 29, 2009 2:12 PM GMT
    I can really relate to your touching story, ozmuscle. I lived in northern Italy for some years as younger man and had exactly the kinds of encounters and electric attractions you wrote about. And had to move on, still cherishing those memories with some very special people.

    Sad to learn of his later death now suddenly through an impersonal newspaper item, I know. My sympathy joins the others' here.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 2:16 PM GMT
    ozmuscle2 said- anybody else had a similar experience?

    Sort of, only I was the guy on the bike, though not my Vespa on that occasion.

    I'd flown down to Houston to see him a month before, having met online a year earlier. We hit it off, and now he'd flown up to North Dakota to spend a couple of weeks with me.

    I told him to pack light, because I'd meet him at the Fargo airport on my motorcycle. He was afraid at first, his only motorcycle ride being some 30 years ago, behind a drunken frat brother who nearly killed them both and scared the hell out of him. I assured him I wasn't like that.

    His flight arrived at dusk, and during the 65-mile ride back to my place in the country the stars came out, the moon peeking from behind clouds, as we flew down 2-lane roads through the vast flat farmland of eastern North Dakota in Spring. He held me tight and wasn't afraid. That bike is pictured below.

    Later he'd often talk about that ride, the most romantic of his life he said, when he fell in love with me. A month later I rode the same bike the 1500 miles down to Houston to see him again, where we used it to get all around the city. And it was during that trip, as dinner was starting at his place one evening, that he rushed into the dining room and fell to his knees as I sat there, nervously presenting me with a ring and proposing like a tongue-tied straight guy out of a movie. I accepted without hesitation.

    And after a few years living together his HIV developed into AIDS, and he died very quickly. I am sorry for your loss, and can understand it a little from my own life. I hope that you can move forward with your life, as I did. I've never forgotten him, as you can see, but I also healed and found a new partner. It's amazing how you can ensnare men with 2 wheels! LOL! Coraggio, il mio amico e bella fortuna a voi!

    PA004.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 2:30 PM GMT
    Sorry for your loss as well. {reassuring hug}
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    What a wonderful experience in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

    So sorry for your loss.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 3:40 PM GMT
    What is with the Australian guys always making my chest hurt?


    Big Hugs…
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Nov 29, 2009 4:11 PM GMT
    lots of hugs from cleveland as well....so sorry
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    Nov 29, 2009 4:57 PM GMT
    I remember how it was when I lost my fiance in after 9-11. I have to admit that for a very good part of my relationship with my current bf... I always worried I would loose Edgar like I lost Michael and that if something were to happen to him I would never find out. Edgar is in the closet and well the idea of not being able to see him makes me batty sometimes. I think can't imagine how this would be if God-forbid he were to be in the hospital or just a whole host of shit you know. things are changing. Edgar is going to be my roommate at school when we start again in the spring. He is bringing me more and more in to his life. His family knows me. they don't like it but they are dealing with it. I just try to put out this one bad idea because I know thats why for a long time why I didn't want to date anyone again. For fear that I would loose them too. this really got me deep in my gut and in my heart. I feel very sorry for you because well... I know that feeling. Finding out that your Fiance's office building has collapsed cause terrorist attacked it and you remember the night before begging him to stay home and call in sick so you could spend longer time talking to each other via webcam and on the phone.... you understood why he said he no... cause he would leave you with everything he had, papers, documents, daries telling you how and why he did what he did... and that the day he met you is the day he realized he needed to change his life because he wanted to be special for me. He wanted to to have his life with me. No money, no tangible item will ever replace him... he is and was always priceless. I just wish I had treated him better, been more understanding, and loved him better than I did... I was young and stupid but because of that... I am trying to be different with Edgar.
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:10 PM GMT

    ozmuscle2, words fail me except to say I'm terribly sorry over your loss.

    That goes out to Red and Ryan too.

    -Doug
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    Nov 29, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    Wow that's incredibly romantic, and also very inspirational (albeit sobering). Gives me a glimmer of hope that there are intensely passionate men in the world waiting for us to find and click with. Life is fleeting, but if we can have even a moment of true passion, it is better than a lifetime without. So sorry for your loss, but thanks for sharing your story.
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    Nov 29, 2009 6:02 PM GMT
    Ryan_Andrew said...Finding out that your Fiance's office building has collapsed cause terrorist attacked it and you remember the night before begging him to stay home and call in sick so you could spend longer time talking to each other via webcam and on the phone....

    I simply cannot conceive that for myself. What a terrible tragedy. I saw the Twin Towers being built, I was in them any number of times. I had a friend who worked there, who that morning was delayed and should have been in them when they were hit, but wasn't and survived.

    I know I'm viewed by some here as ultra-Liberal. Not so, actually. I'm really rather pragmatic, and also former military, which additionally colors my thinking.

    I want those Twin Towers avenged. I want the guilty parties dead, I want them hunted down and made examples. The Bush Administration failed miserably, and now my patience with Obama is wearing thin. Until I see bin Laden executed, and his allies likewise exterminated, I will not be satisfied.
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    Nov 29, 2009 6:21 PM GMT
    sorry for your loss
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    Nov 29, 2009 6:23 PM GMT
    IM SORRY...HUGS
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 7:05 PM GMT
    Such a beautiful story ! I'm sorry that it ended the way it did.
    But while I know your morning his loss, I think it's equally important
    to remember the beauty in the connection and how heartfelt it was.
    Your story and post shows that.

    Big hugs to you !
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 661

    Nov 29, 2009 7:24 PM GMT
    My experience has been that permanent loss can bring out deeper feelings. John was a high school classmate who was pretty crazy and very passionate: he loved everything French. We were both in the closet in high school, played tennis together, were in debate together and theatre together. But we only allowed each other to get so close. Five years after high school, I met him at the student union at the University. He was oh so gorgeous and sweet; we were both out and had become more ourselves. He and I spent some time together and sexually it was one of the most memorable times of my life as he was kind, patient, and warm. He and I didn't want the same things so we parted. Fifteen years later I was preparing to go to my 20th class reunion. I had passionate dreams about John and wrote some poetry about him. Through this process, I became aware of how much I had been in love with John. I went to the reunion, hoping to find John, only to talk with his best friend: she told me he had died ten years earlier in Paris of AIDS. At that time (1985), the best HIV treatment was in France. I felt deep sorrow and loss. You see, I had met and known John when I was young and in the closet. One of the costs of being in the closet is that you don't really know how you feel about people. Sometimes there is a gap between my day-to-day experience and my knowledge about the depth of my feelings, but now it takes much less than 20 years to figure it out.

    And yes, I too, am sorry for your loss.
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    Nov 29, 2009 8:41 PM GMT
    Thanks for sharing your story of meeting this great guy. I'm sorry he has passed on...........but you'll always have him within you, in your memory bank, whenever you think of him.
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    Nov 29, 2009 9:08 PM GMT
    rdberg1957 saidMy experience has been that permanent loss can bring out deeper feelings.... One of the costs of being in the closet is that you don't really know how you feel about people. Sometimes there is a gap between my day-to-day experience and my knowledge about the depth of my feelings, but now it takes much less than 20 years to figure it out.



    Thank you....Sincerely thank you.
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    Nov 29, 2009 9:09 PM GMT
    As sad as it is, life goes on.......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2009 9:53 PM GMT
    fellas - thanks to all of you who took the time to respond to my post - with so much trivia on here (a lot of it is fun mind you) - it is great to see a whole bunch of masculine men prepared to show sensitivity, understanding and empathy.

    life does go on - and i shall always look back to that magic week with fondness and a little melancholy for what can never be regained -

    in my mind i have many times walked through his shop door unannounced - but work has taken me to other places - and i suppose i always knew that it was a special week that had to remain just that -

    and thank you to those who shared stories and their feelings of their loss - xx



  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Nov 29, 2009 9:59 PM GMT
    Beautiful stories... all of them. Thank you for sharing.