The Ex-Boyfriend Connection II

  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 30, 2009 6:39 AM GMT
    LoveSlipped.jpg


    This is part II of this topic. For part I, please click http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/730994/

    Today the Ex-Boyfriend and I talked...

    Here is how the conversation went: Red is Me, Black is Him

    -Hey

    Hey

    -What u up to handsome?

    Not much.. just now getting out of bed. What u up to?

    -Really? Wow, Mr Lazyday? Thats a first. I'm excited to hear that. I'm just hangin out. I have enough fuel if you'd like to hang out today.

    I would like too but its my turn to come out there, remember?

    -Well i'd like that, will u do it?

    <<<< One Hour Later >>>>

    Yea I told u that ill come out there. I know you're strapped for cash so its no point in trying to drive out just to hangout.

    -We could play vid games...

    Haha, yea we could. What I was saying was since you're broke I don't want to try to scrap up money to try and get there.

    -Thats why I offered to come to you.

    No no no lol. Sorry not being clear. I dont want you to come here because I know u are broke lol.
    -I wouldn't have offered if it were a problem. So?

    Yea I know u wouldn't offered. But i do think next sat possibly would be better though.

    -Are you sure? Alright, Saturday it is then, Mr. Can I ask you a question?

    Yea go ahead.

    -Why did u tell me that you still think about me?

    Well I do.. Even when we broke up I did. Have to make sure you're not dead or anything lol.

    -That didn't really answer the question. Why did u tell me? The reason why u think about me is to make sure I'm not dead?

    I dont kno Max why i told you......why not?! I would be lying if I said i didn't think about you.

    -When u call me sexy and handsome, are you flirting with me?

    I'll stop saying that if it bugs u. But I tend to say it alot.

    -If you dont mean anything by it, then no, I don't want you call me that.

    -I'm not upset or anything. I just needed to clear things up. You had me a little confused by all that when we went out. The way u said and did things made me think u were open to creating a new spark between us. Its ok if you're not or if u are, but i'd like to be sure of which it is. That's all :-)


    Yea I would like to try to get that spark but there is a reason why i'm single. I just know right now is not a good time to be in a relationship.

    -The spark is there. Like I said, I'm not going to push u into something u dont want. Its cool, I can handle that. I do believe u have a fear of committement tho. I just don't want u to lead me on, ok.

    - I am curious to why u feel this way about . I truly believe that if you aren't willing to change your perspective now, you won't be willing to in the future either. You'll always find a reason to reaffirm that "now" will not be the right time.


    Max, I know myself better then anyone. I know when I want to date and I know when I shouldn't date.
    -Alright, that's cool. So why are you against it right now?

    Right now I wouldn't be able to be a good bf to anyone. Right now school and work are my main focus.

    -What would u not be able to do that a good bf could?

    Really just being there. I wouldn't be able to be there like I want to.

    -And that's all I would ask for. If you can't handle that, that's ok. I'm glad we can have an honest mature conversation.

    -Are we still on for Saturday tho?

    Yes sir we are.

    -Ok, cool beans, I'm gonna finish watchin this movie with my dad, Message me later if ya want.

    Or you can msg when you're done. I'll be up :-)

    -Ok.


    --------------------

    So I guess you guys were all right. I hope you're proud.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2009 7:22 AM GMT
    lol. you are cute.

    Everyone needs their space. He sounds like he is being honest with you and that is good. He sounds like a good guy. Now you just have to accept the situation and not let it get you down or hold you back. You can only move forward on the arrow of time.

    Good job on being more assertive. Don't sweat it.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 30, 2009 7:30 AM GMT
    Its not the outcome that I wanted, but I do know that its not the end of the world. Things may change one day. Doesn't mean I will wait for him, but if timing finally becomes right with us again, then so be it. I guess he could still become my BcukFdudy. Haha. I still have a masterplan anyway....

    Why?

    Because that's what evil geniuses do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2009 7:33 AM GMT
    P.S. maybe you should not be so defensive about him calling you sexy and handsome even if it does not mean he wants a relationship. Some of us don't get to hear that very often. You rate it! icon_biggrin.gif Maybe next time he calls you that you can be assertive and say "Damn right!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2009 7:35 AM GMT
    MercuryMax, we deleted ourselves from RJ (temporarily) but came back for you.

    Neither of us are proud.
    We're sorry. You found out he has cold feet in regards to you. That's bitter medicine, but the only other alternatives were wait in the dark for a someday that doesn't come, or walk away before finding out what you just did when you messaged him.

    Now you CAN walk away from this without doubt or second thoughts.
    There's better love out there. Someone will be waiting down the line. Honest! It's better to have someone want you who's sure of it, where nothing, no mountain river or storm, will stop him.

    a hug -Bill and Doug

  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 30, 2009 7:37 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidP.S. maybe you should not be so defensive about him calling you sexy and handsome even if it does not mean he wants a relationship. Some of us don't get to hear that very often. You rate it! icon_biggrin.gif Maybe next time he calls you that you can be assertive and say "Damn right!"


    Don't worry, I have it under control. I didn't tell him to stop saying it. I told him to stop saying it if it had no meaning behind it...
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 30, 2009 7:39 AM GMT
    meninlove said MercuryMax, we deleted ourselves from RJ (temporarily) but came back for you.

    Neither of us are proud.
    We're sorry. You found out he has cold feet in regards to you. That's bitter medicine, but the only other alternatives were wait in the dark for a someday that doesn't come, or walk away before finding out what you just did when you messaged him.

    Now you CAN walk away from this without doubt or second thoughts.
    There's better love out there. Someone will be waiting down the line. Honest! It's better to have someone want you who's sure of it, where nothing, no mountain river or storm, will stop him.

    a hug -Bill and Doug



    Thanks guys. Why would you delete your account? I'm glad u came back though. I'm not going to walk away from this. But, I am switching my goal, so to speak.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2009 9:07 PM GMT
    A very sad story.

    Most of us have been through something like this. The lesson to be learned from it is this: if someone tells you he's not ready, believe him. It's possible he's not being honest with you or even with himself, but you won't have any luck if you press him for a commitment he doesn't want to make. Accept it and move on. There will be someone else you haven't met yet who give you what you are seeking.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 30, 2009 10:33 PM GMT
    Yea, everyone is right. I guess I'll just have to search for Mr. Right elsewhere....in someone else.icon_confused.gif

    Any takers?...hehe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2009 10:40 PM GMT
    meninlove said MercuryMax, we deleted ourselves from RJ (temporarily) but came back for you.

    Neither of us are proud.
    We're sorry. You found out he has cold feet in regards to you. That's bitter medicine, but the only other alternatives were wait in the dark for a someday that doesn't come, or walk away before finding out what you just did when you messaged him.

    Now you CAN walk away from this without doubt or second thoughts.
    There's better love out there. Someone will be waiting down the line. Honest! It's better to have someone want you who's sure of it, where nothing, no mountain river or storm, will stop him.

    a hug -Bill and Doug



    I 100% agree on this - have had the "wait and see" garbage done to me and you pretty much are just "an option" for the future and not THE only one for the future. Ask yourself this --- Do you really just want to be one of his options? Being able to truthfully answer and act on that question in the right way will be significantly harder than sitting there waiting. Hope all works out for the best for you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2009 10:44 PM GMT
    lol you and i have a VERY similar story with a VERY similar ending icon_smile.gif don't worry they're hope even when one door closes, no such thing as the one
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 30, 2009 10:49 PM GMT
    one1one said
    meninlove said MercuryMax, we deleted ourselves from RJ (temporarily) but came back for you.

    Neither of us are proud.
    We're sorry. You found out he has cold feet in regards to you. That's bitter medicine, but the only other alternatives were wait in the dark for a someday that doesn't come, or walk away before finding out what you just did when you messaged him.

    Now you CAN walk away from this without doubt or second thoughts.
    There's better love out there. Someone will be waiting down the line. Honest! It's better to have someone want you who's sure of it, where nothing, no mountain river or storm, will stop him.

    a hug -Bill and Doug




    I 100% agree on this - have had the "wait and see" garbage done to me and you pretty much are just "an option" for the future and not THE only one for the future. Ask yourself this --- Do you really just want to be one of his options? Being able to truthfully answer and act on that question in the right way will be significantly harder than sitting there waiting. Hope all works out for the best for you


    No, actually I dont want to be just an option. I guess thats how I'm gonna have to start lookin at him now, as just an option. Right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2009 11:03 PM GMT
    that may be easier said than done..especially if you're curious as to his intentions with you, chances are you are more open at this very point to work towards getting back together than he may be. If you feel you can handle doing the same scenario to him then more power to you bro;but it doesnt always work out so well for the one who's ready to get back together, because you may get frustrated if you're only acting as nonchalant about the situation as he is. In other words trying to view him as an only an option now may be harder to handle if you dont want any other options in your life
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Nov 30, 2009 11:10 PM GMT
    one1one saidthat may be easier said than done..especially if you're curious as to his intentions with you, chances are you are more open at this very point to work towards getting back together than he may be. If you feel you can handle doing the same scenario to him then more power to you bro;but it doesnt always work out so well for the one who's ready to get back together, because you may get frustrated if you're only acting as nonchalant about the situation as he is. In other words trying to view him as an only an option now may be harder to handle if you dont want any other options in your life


    Yea, it was hard enough acting nonchalant when I went to the movies with him. I honestly have no other choice at the moment...
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Nov 30, 2009 11:50 PM GMT
    Thank you for posting this MercuryMax.

    This paints a better picture of the guy than the glimpse we got of him from part I. He actually cares that much about potential boyfriends (i.e. you) to be honest that he, at the moment, is not ready to be in a relationship. It really is better this way for both of you.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Dec 01, 2009 8:33 PM GMT
    Yea, i just had to learn not to be caught up in him again. I guess seeing him again, just stirred up my emotions, even more so than I thought. I'm back on track now, I think.