Fat kids on treadmills = solution to climate change!

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    Nov 30, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    From Runner's World (this has me cracking up):

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    November 30, 2009

    Fat Kids and Climate: A Modest Proposal
    Mark Remy

    In case you haven't noticed, children are getting bigger. Not in the "My, look how much you've grown!" way, either. I mean in the "Wow, you sure love that soda, huh?" way. About one-third of kids today are overweight or obese.

    There are several reasons for this, but one of them is that kids aren't getting enough exercise.

    Also in case you haven't noticed, climate change is a hot topic. World leaders are preparing to board huge emissions-spewing jets to meet in Copenhagen to discuss the matter.

    Now, I can't make it to Copenhagen -- and apparently my invite was lost in the mail, anyway -- so I'd like to suggest a single solution to both of these problems, right here in this very blog. (And yes, there's a running angle.)

    My solution to both of these problems has three steps:

    1. Build massive treadmill banks at the nation's power plants, and hook them up to "the grid."

    2. Put fat children on these treadmills.

    3. Dangle iPods and baskets of cheese fries in front of these children, just out of reach.


    Bingo. Problems solved. We have a huge amount of "green" energy, and kids stay slim. Hey, come to think of it, there's a bonus result: lower health care costs, since overweight children grow up to face things like type 2 diabetes, hypertension, and so on.

    And just imagine all the jobs created in the treadmill and treadmill maintenance industries. Not to mention the iPod-dangling sector.

    Some may scoff at my vision as being "impractical" or "fanciful" or "cruel." Well, I say to them: Run over here and say that. Seriously -- here, I have some cheese fries for you. Come on, closer. Oooh, almost got 'em. Keep going...
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    Nov 30, 2009 6:01 PM GMT
    LMAO!

    Actually, I was reading kids are more active on average than they were ten years ago, the main problem in weight gain being diet rather than a deficiency in physical activity.

    Let's face it, you'd have to run for three hours (give or take) just to compensate for eating a Big Mac.
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    Nov 30, 2009 6:05 PM GMT
    Logan / flex89 and I met with our hair lady a week ago, and she has a 10 year old who is 185 pounds at 5'1". The doctor got all over Carmen about her 10 year old becoming type 2 diabetic by the age of 12. Carmen is frantic, but, as usual, there's an enabler. In this case, it's the father, who buys the young man junk left and right. Carmen is very frustrated. I told her she HAS to intervene on both her husband, and her fat ass kid.

    We have an obesity pandemic underway. It's imperative we intervene to try to lower the impact of all the disease and human tragedy that is forthcoming from it. Folks cannot, and should not, set by and watch these lives be destroyed with great impact to our health care system. It's time to step up and down the right thing, and get involved. You see a fat person. You get on their ass.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 30, 2009 6:12 PM GMT
    I suggested this a couple of months ago in a previous thread. Have locations that have treadmills, ellipticals, stationary bikes, etc. Hook them up to a power grid. Pay individuals modestly to come in and use the facility and generate power. People could make money and lose their fat ass in the process.
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 455

    Nov 30, 2009 7:34 PM GMT
    wow ur an ass but i get your point and I'm inclined to agree with you dude
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    Nov 30, 2009 7:43 PM GMT
    "You see a fat person. You get on their ass."

    For example,

    When driving stopped at a traffic light, if a fat person pulls up next to you, motion for them to lower their window and when the do, yell out "you big fat fuckin fat fuck!".

    When you want to say something nice to a fat person, say "I would call you my little butter cup, but you're just a big fat fuckin fat tub-o-lard".

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    Nov 30, 2009 7:45 PM GMT
    It is good to know that calling kids names isn't limited to just the halls of middle schools but is now also fit for major publications.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 30, 2009 7:49 PM GMT
    Replace all office chairs and school desk chairs for everyone with a stationary bicycle that delivers a mild electric shock if it falls below a set RPM. That'll put a dent in the epidemic.
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    Nov 30, 2009 7:49 PM GMT
    I feel you Munching Zombie-

    Pretty sad if you ask me. Doing that to adults is one thing to but to a defensless kid who do not have the weapon to fight back is horrible.

    Even the comments that are written hear. How many of you would actually get in a kids face a say these things?

    Chucky not counting you because I have no doubt that you would take fiendish pleasure in it.
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    Nov 30, 2009 8:12 PM GMT
    I do blame the lazy parents more than the lazy kids. Ya know, you can give your kids treats that aren't all candy, and foods that aren't all fat.

    Story: my father came to stay with us in my military housing, when I was a US Army Major, and to see his grandsons, ages 5 & 1. One morning he made the oldest boy breakfast, and he came out of the kitchen all upset.

    "[Name] doesn't know what sugar is!" he exclaimed to me.

    "What?" I replied.

    "I just gave him a bowl of cereal, and handed him the sugar bowl, and he said 'What's this?' Don't you give him sugar?"

    "He eats his cereal without it, he doesn't miss it." (And the cereal wasn't sugar-coated, either)

    "But at his age you poured tons of sugar on your cereal," my father protested.

    "Well, he doesn't. He's happy without it. There's no need to give it to him."

    "I never heard of a 5-year-old who didn't know what sugar is!"

    "I'm sure he'll learn, maybe when he starts drinking coffee. We don't prohibit it, but he doesn't seem to want it, either."

    Nor did either of them ask for candy bars or other sweets. For treats they got fresh vegetables, like broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, and so forth. We'd be out somewhere, and I'd ask them if they wanted something from a vending machine, a candy bar or such. "No, Dad," they'd answer.

    Trust me, we weren't latter-day hippy commune types or health food fanatics. But from Day One we gave the boys good foods, and that's what they learned to prefer, over candy and fast food. It's really very easy, if parents act responsibly and thoughtfully.
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    Nov 30, 2009 11:24 PM GMT
    it's definitely the parents' job to give their kids boundaries. i was fortunate enough to have my parents who gave my brother and i a relatively strict upbringing. we would come home from school, have a snack, do our homework, and then go outside and play. we were active kids. we'd be swimming all day at the beach during the summer and running up and down the huge hill sledding during the winter. today kids tend to have lazy parents who don't want to prepare a healthy meal and instead just pick up something from the nearest fast food joint on the way home from work.

    but at the same time it's all in moderation. i eat really well during the week but don't feel any guilt when i decide to kick back a few beers and watch the game on the weekend or grab a meal out somewhere with some friends. everything in moderation. it's that easy.

    but yes, we should totally hook up the fat kids to treadmills.
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    Nov 30, 2009 11:33 PM GMT
    My parents had a wonderful rule... if they noticed any of us were getting soft around the edges, we'd have to run at least two laps around the block before we could eat dinner, and we couldn't have seconds on anything that wasn't a vegetable until we started slimming down again. They'd also cut back on buying anything processed or with simple sugars in it.

    They also bought a Wii (my bros are all video game geeks), and were early adopters of Dance Dance Revolution on the PS2, and they'd lock up all the "sit and stare" games if they felt they needed to.

    Only problem with the Wii is my youngest brother figured out all you had to do to get a reaction with the controller was to "bump" it, thus removing the need to wave it around, and with the PS2, you could plug in a regular controller instead of the dance pad. (He's full-blown autistic and was the first one to figure it out.) My parents grounded anyone they caught "abusing" the game controllers, LOL!
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    Dec 01, 2009 1:05 AM GMT
    gymguy81 saidwow ur an ass but i get your point and I'm inclined to agree with you dude


    I hope that isn't directed at me, 'cause I didn't write that "article." Mark Remy for Runner's World wrote that tongue-in-cheek entry.
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    Dec 01, 2009 1:14 AM GMT
    McGay said"You see a fat person. You get on their ass."

    For example,

    When driving stopped at a traffic light, if a fat person pulls up next to you, motion for them to lower their window and when the do, yell out "you big fat fuckin fat fuck!".

    When you want to say something nice to a fat person, say "I would call you my little butter cup, but you're just a big fat fuckin fat tub-o-lard".



    Ha, ha, ha,ha,ha,...
    MCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCGAY!

    You are becoming a meany in your old age!

    ROFL LMFAO
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2009 1:15 AM GMT
    We all need to encourage our full-figured (aka fat ass) kids to get in motion and to eat responsibly. LOL.
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    Dec 01, 2009 5:08 AM GMT
    Well this is the most action the running thread has ever seen.

    How do you get a drunk homo to run on a treadmill?

    Have a hot guy in chaps running on the treadmill in front of him.

    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *HISS*