Monogamous and webcam...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2007 2:01 PM GMT
    Can you really claim to be in a monogamous relationship and then webcam with guys on the internet? Just asking....I want to know what others think about this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2007 3:22 PM GMT
    Assuming that the webcamming with guys you're referring to is of a sexual nature and not just social, I'd say that technically, the relationship is not purely monogamous. But, my observation is that gay couples often divide up and compartmentalize various aspects of monogamy, such that their relationship is only open within certain boundaries. So, you may encounter gay men who describe their relationship as monogamous but who are not actually monogamous by the strict definition of the word.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2007 7:06 PM GMT
    If you are doing something even of this sort of nature behind your partners back. It is wrong!


    The problem today is we all want to be told the truth, but some want the truth and are not honest themselves.


    I am a firm believer in what goes around, comes around!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2007 7:39 PM GMT
    Flirting is healthy and good, but there are obvious boundries to be considered if you claim 'Monogomy'.
    The cam thing is a safe way to explore one's need for attention. Quite obviously there are is a bit of narcisism here, and I mean that in a good way. Why the hell else do we get pumped ?!

    SO WE CAN FLEX !

    - peace
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    May 10, 2007 10:24 PM GMT
    Philosophically, I think it really depends on what you and your partner decide is "cheating" or unfaithful behavior...

    Personally, as someone who broke up with a partner who was physically cheating on me, I would feel funny about this...even if it was not secretive...

    I just never want to feel "second best" in a relationship to someone else outside the relationship...whether my issues or my partners...

    - David
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2007 1:43 AM GMT
    I have been furiously webcamming with Cal for six or seven months now. Honestly, it's the only reason I call my relationship open.

    Were it not for the long nights in front of the camera -- Cal reading his poetry and me sputtering about poststructural theory while touching myself down there -- I'd be another monogamous homosexual shopping for a lesbian surrogate mother.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2007 1:50 AM GMT
    i certainly don't view camming as cheating by any stretch, but since many of you guys actually do... i guess the best answer is that each couple has to define their own boundaries.

    personally, i don't believe in this whole "monogamy" concept... but to each his own! i guess that's another forum topic. :)
  • trebor965

    Posts: 200

    May 11, 2007 3:31 AM GMT
    it depends on your definition of monogamous. mine changes, often.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2007 7:44 AM GMT
    can you be monogamous and look at porn?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2007 7:46 AM GMT
    oh, also, can you be monogamous and fantasize about other guys?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2007 10:44 AM GMT
    Active and Fit,

    Great questions for another post!

    Anthing that we do in life that you have control over and that the activity or behavior does not control you, it is ok as long as you are not hurting someone else in the process.

    I would think that those who are in monogamous relationship have communicated what that term means. I see nothing wrong with a couple who wish to enjoy a good porn flick.

    The question that you should ask yourself is. Does my partner know I am looking at porn, on cam and masturbating with other guy or what ever it may be?

    Are you hiding what you are doing from your partner? If yes, it is a sure sign that you are breaking your rules for that relationship.

    So

    Fantasy is a very normal behaviour. We all do it. Those who say they don't are liars! OBSCENEWISH could add more to this as it all stems from brain processing and activity.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    May 11, 2007 5:47 PM GMT
    Good question...
    with a kind of relativistic answer
    ...on the whole I'd say no
    but if your keyboard is gettin all gunky
    and everytime your husband pulls up into the driveway you're running around the house shuttin down the computer screen and pulling up your pants I'd say you got a problem :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2007 4:17 AM GMT
    I was answering a question with a question. I don't see the difference in any of those things and the original question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2007 8:38 AM GMT
    Obscenewish: I don't think you are taking this seriously you naughty boy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2007 10:18 AM GMT
    OBSCENEWISH,
    You PROMISED not to tell anyone !!!!!!!!!!

    LOL


    xx
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2007 10:22 AM GMT
    BTW, can one be monogomous and have one's own life ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2007 10:31 AM GMT
    I'm just being a jokester. Ignore above comment. My bf is now going to belt my arse, which I suppose is why I say such things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2007 12:38 PM GMT
    "BTW, can one be monogomous and have one's own life ?"

    LOL...You win Quote of the Day.
  • ertje2004

    Posts: 11

    Aug 29, 2007 6:24 PM GMT
    yes why not ?
    when people have a good relationship together , they accept what the other woult do.

    if thats not posseble , then I don't now iff the relationship is good enough ....

    I'm sorry , I'm single and don't now iff I woult be jaleous
    but to denied another too not talk or see someone on cam or outside its stupid

    gr erwin
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2008 6:05 PM GMT
    This argument is entirely subjective and depends upon the boundaries (or lack of) that each couple (or trio?) defines and delineates in their own way.

    In other words, there is no "right" answer...only the best answer for your own situation.

    In my world, I define cheating as any sexual gratification that I am not aware of. In other words, do I know what's getting my boy off? And assuming my knowledge is omniscient, am I ok with what I know? Those are the questions I ask myself when forming boundaries for my relationship, and those are the questions I communicate to my BF. So far, it is healthy and works well.

    I won't get into what is and is not "ok" with me (ie porn, webcamming, etc.) as that is where subjectivity most definitely dictates the agenda. I might as well talk about politics or something...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2008 6:09 PM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidcan you be monogamous and look at porn?

    He's the porn junkie and I'm the cam fan. We're both OK with it.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Mar 03, 2008 6:11 PM GMT
    I agree, its all uniquely personal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2008 6:20 PM GMT
    What the eyes dont see the heart does not grieve about!

    l do it because he is away at University but not all the time and i do feel guilty but i need SEX! ls it better than going out for a one night stand which i would never do?


    l will tell him when the time is right and he is very understanding so lets see ..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 03, 2008 6:21 PM GMT
    One of the best definitions I heard of cheating is "doing something with another person with he intent of getting off". It doesn't require getting off, but with intent there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2010 10:57 AM GMT
    anyone handjob with me on webcam tell me or email me pasco666@hotmail.com cya kiss