How to let go without the drink in the hand?

  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 02, 2009 8:36 AM GMT
    I know that drinking is unhealthy and everything and that would be reason number 1 to stop doing it. What I dont get how it is commun under the people who regulary work out. Everybody has their way to let go of stuff and just be silly for some time, doing drugs in general is the road most people take, but most notdrinkers I know behave just as bad in the disco. So whats up with that?

    The other weekend I was out with some friends of mine and they brought along a buddy of theirs, pretty goodlooking and also pretty build. So when we got to the club we sat down and all chatted a bit. We all ordered something alcoholic except the buddy who just ordered a gatorade. I thought that he just wanted to take it easy and the night kept going. In the end most of my friends were drunk dancing and I was still chatting with him when one of my friends came along and asked us to come dance. I never saw such a transformation, from a cool guy you can talk with to a.... well... i dont know a word for it, but it was weird. He didnt seem that intrested at all in Partying and dancing and then this. I have never seen someone let go so easy without a drop of a drink.

    So I just want to find out whats behind this. Is it just the high selfasteem that lets them go happy through the night? I had my times were I was drinking nothing because I had to drive and in the end I just couldnt enjoy it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 8:46 AM GMT
    Getting high on life? lol

    I don't drink, and I do that all the time. That must be what nerds do, though. icon_sad.gif

    Maybe it's just I have this philosophy of, "I obviously know how to make my life 100% fun without drinking...why do I need to do it now?"


    OH! OH! Or it's emotional contagion! (totally editted that to put my psychology knowledge to work here LOL )
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    Dec 02, 2009 8:51 AM GMT
    I don t drink either. Neither do I use drugs. But I can let go when I am in a club. I just love to dance on the music. And I have very low self esteem. And maybe that s why I am like, who cares, I am a big laugh anyways, whether I am dancing crazy or not.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 02, 2009 9:33 AM GMT
    maximumrisk, I think you're perfectly within your rights to demand that your friends give you his number so you can call him, invite him over and ask him personally how he does it.

    And then report back to us with his secret. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 02, 2009 11:04 AM GMT
    I was in the air force in the 80s. Every friday night a bunch of us would go to the club on base, get shit faced, dance and crawl home. then the air force changed its policy for officers. now we went to the club and ordered non alcoholic drinks, laughed, danced and walked home. Yes, we were all concerned about promotion and image as a motivational factor. Ususally generals and colonels there when we were on Fridays.

    Life is not getting from point A to B, but the trip along the way.
    Just ask yourself Why drinking and drugs? It's your life and body, mind.
    Be a Ram not a sheep.
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    Dec 02, 2009 11:08 AM GMT
    I used to experience some of that in gay clubs myself, becoming increasing uninhibited and almost giddy as the night wore on, if that's what you mean about this guy. Here's what I think was happening to me:

    - club music can really motivate me as the night wears on.
    - being surrounded by gay guys having a good time excites me, not sure if simply their company, a whiff of testosterone in the air, or both or something else going on.
    - at the time, all these clubs allowed smoking, and the air was thick with it. In fact, when I got home, I so reeked of smoke the first thing I did was strip naked in my laundry room, the clothes going directly into the washer, and take a shower.

    I must have gotten the equivalent of 2 cigarettes worth of second-hand smoke, and since I never smoke myself, perhaps the nicotine was affecting me the longer I'd be in the club.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 4:05 PM GMT
    I'm too cheap to pay for alcohol in a club (or broke). I either get there drunk or just pretend I am!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 4:34 PM GMT
    I've started to let other people buy my drinks for me again.

    I can let loose without alcohol, but I feel so much better with.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 02, 2009 4:37 PM GMT
    The last time I had anything significant to drink was Thanksgiving 2 years ago with family. When I happen to be out in a bar or club (which isn't often)
    its great, I enjoy myself to the max. The lights, the friends, its all fun.
    Drinking isn't an issue, but then I've never been a drinker so its a moot point.
    Its also interesting watching others get smashed... and remember it later!
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Dec 02, 2009 4:52 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo7 saidI'm too cheap to pay for alcohol in a club (or broke). I either get there drunk or just pretend I am!

    I carry a flask if I know the booze is expensive in a bar. I have a 7 oz that holds my wonderful Crown Royal or Kettle
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    For some people, drinking takes the edge off and makes it easier to talk to people. I have to have at least one drink if I go into a gay bar. That's usually all it takes.

    But you can be just high on being around hot looking nice guys. That is something they need to bottle. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 6:35 PM GMT
    Perhaps you set him at ease. Is that so hard to imagine?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 6:37 PM GMT
    Not everyone needs it. It's really that simple.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 6:37 PM GMT
    JP85257 said
    Ciarsolo7 saidI'm too cheap to pay for alcohol in a club (or broke). I either get there drunk or just pretend I am!

    I carry a flask if I know the booze is expensive in a bar. I have a 7 oz that holds my wonderful Crown Royal or Kettle


    I once stumbled into a bar and not until later realized I had stuffed a bottle of red wine in my jacket going in there. Door guy dropped the ball!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    I can go out and have lots of fun without drinking, i do it more often these days, in fact i prefer it.

    Music is the drug, you just let it flow in and let your spirit move to it.
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    Dec 02, 2009 7:33 PM GMT
    Maybe he was just a really nice,responsible guy that doesn't drink and drive.Maybe he likes to dance and have fun but the conversation that you were having was drowning on his part.Maybe he was saved by the invitation to dance and it had nothing to do with alcohol.
    Did you end up going home with him?
    If you did you should have asked him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 8:02 PM GMT
    My best friend doesn't drink and she works in entertainment and the night club industry. She is always the first person to put a drink in my hand. It's rare to find someone who doesn't drink and who is malleable enough to enjoy people that are.
    I like pretty much everything in moderation. I also don't have an addictive personality and am not into the total loss of control. When I've had too much to drink I'm prone to literally just walking away and going home. I refuse to be the sloppy, messy drunk that everyone rolls their eyes at.
  • Neon_Dreams

    Posts: 352

    Dec 02, 2009 8:05 PM GMT
    I like ACTING drunk or high... It usually works.


    Joe
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    Dec 02, 2009 8:17 PM GMT
    It's all about confidence! I recently stopped drinking at clubs... it was tough to soberly let loose at first, but now it feels amazing to approach people as my fully-functioning self!
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 02, 2009 9:52 PM GMT
    goodtr8s saidMaybe he was just a really nice,responsible guy that doesn't drink and drive.Maybe he likes to dance and have fun but the conversation that you were having was drowning on his part.Maybe he was saved by the invitation to dance and it had nothing to do with alcohol.
    Did you end up going home with him?
    If you did you should have asked him.


    I am not the kind of guy who goes after friends of friends. I got his number and we talked again, but thats about it so far.

    mickeytopogigio saidPerhaps you set him at ease. Is that so hard to imagine?


    Kind of. I already have a hard time getting someones interrest, even less with guys like him. So why should it be different this time?
  • jarhead5536

    Posts: 1348

    Dec 02, 2009 9:59 PM GMT
    I drink, although I can't do it as much as I used to since my body doesn't like it so much anymore (being 45 is not for sissies). It's way too hard to get to the gym at 5:30am if I have been knocking back a few the night before...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 10:07 PM GMT
    maximumrisk saidSo why should it be different this time?

    Maybe you're cuter than you think you are. You make ME feel like dancing.
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Dec 02, 2009 10:28 PM GMT
    Why would anyone rely on alcohol to control their behavior? icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2009 10:39 PM GMT
    I think one of the nicest compliments I've gotten while partying was a couple of years back when I was dancing, completely sober, at an Xdementia dance in Rio on the beach at 4AM and a couple of hot guys came up to me to ask what I was on and whether they could possibly get some. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 02, 2009 10:45 PM GMT
    somedaytoo saidWhy would anyone rely on alcohol to control their behavior?

    Because alcohol trumps God. Think of it as behavioral Rock, Paper, Scissors.