Was it hard for anyone in high school being gay?

  • Fell

    Posts: 12

    Dec 02, 2009 3:56 PM GMT
    i have had this question for a long timme and i was wondering if its hard being gay while in high school becuase it is for me and i would like some advice, on what to do, should i see the counslor because of the bullying?
  • Quirky

    Posts: 41

    Dec 03, 2009 2:05 AM GMT
    I'm still a closet case somewhat although I have done some stuff,nothing too intimate, with a guy and because of that some people found out. But, they seemed cool with it and havent told anyone else.

    Itd be great if someone posts their experience
  • SwimmingDoc

    Posts: 115

    Dec 03, 2009 2:06 AM GMT
    i was closested in hs, but came out in college...
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    Dec 03, 2009 2:11 AM GMT
    Hard? You haven't a clue. Teenagers irritate me just because of my experiences in high school (well, most do nowadays).

    I would speak to a counceler if I were you. Sometimes, it is good to just vent at someone. Friends are a saving grace too.

    College is drastically different. Keep your chin up.
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    Dec 03, 2009 2:11 AM GMT
    It was hard. I was depressed and I became over weight because of it, my routine was school, home and bed.. I was so confused and no one to trust and talk too, so I went through HS without friends.

    I suggest you do talk to someone about it. Talking about it helps emotionally and physically.
  • Acorns

    Posts: 273

    Dec 03, 2009 2:14 AM GMT
    People in my school didn't seem to care or say anything at all.

    And I live in Texas.

    I would suggest you should talk to your counselor, even if you may not want to. Counselors do help, but I hated mine so I never really had a good relationship with her.
    (I probably don't help much, but I felt as if I should have contributed)

    --My counselors never did anything for the record whenever I had an issue with someone in school (Not about being gay though). If they do the same, I probably would have dealt with it, but maybe a real counselor would work for you.
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    Dec 03, 2009 2:17 AM GMT
    No. I grew up in Los Angeles, California and no one ever really bothered me. Not many people cared to. I honestly don't even remember what it was like and that wasn't too long ago. It was just boring.
    I'm sure seeing a counselor will only do more harm than good if the students involved in the bullying get in trouble. Sure you'll be safe in school, but once you leave the campus there won't be much the school can do to protect you. Carry some pepper spray (it's cheap and easy to get a hold of) and take a self-defense class.
    Is it verbal or physical?
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:05 AM GMT
    I never had any issues either...

    I'm curious as to what kind of bullying you're experiencing?
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:10 AM GMT
    I reckon the better question is "was it easy for anyone in high school being gay?"
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:12 AM GMT
    I denied my gayness when I was in high school, so other than living in denial with stunted social skills, high school was great!

    Our two gay guys were picked on relentlessly. I ended up defending one of them as three underclassmen started a push-fest. They backed off, but the gay guy was not happy I interceded. I think he wanted the fight, and I had denied him the chance to do that. Plus, he didn't see me as a friend.

    I hope life for gays in high school is better today than it was in my day.
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:16 AM GMT
    The initial shock of "holy crap, I'm attracted to guys!" was pretty rough but once I "figured" myself I had a pretty chill time. Had friends, participated in clubs, even played football for a year. Just wasn't that big a deal.
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:23 AM GMT
    Justmi saidIt was hard. I was depressed and I became over weight because of it, my routine was school, home and bed.. I was so confused and no one to trust and talk too, so I went through HS without friends.

    I suggest you do talk to someone about it. Talking about it helps emotionally and physically.


    I got the same problem, but, mine was like worst, there are alwais stupid and ignorant students that say to someone gay over and over just to be some of atraction. So, that point was me -.-, lol, i was like, yah i am Gay, but thet didnt knew for real and i was a closet one, now that i am in the thirsd year of college, i cam out, but not many people know. I had put today on my mspace, sexual orientation: Gay, i rwally dont mater what people say, and yes, i was phisicaly mental problems during my High Schoold friends, Class mates****, and, umm, ignore them, that was what i did...and my advisor, the one who talk to students about problems, he hugged me too much >_>, i think he is gay...hahah, i shoud ask him now....lol if i see him arount in the City Party..now on Christmas..xDlol
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Dec 03, 2009 4:30 AM GMT
    I knew I was gay when I was thirteen, and I was happy about it. High school wasn't too bad, I just stayed away from the dating scene, because honestly I just thought I was too young to be an "active" gay person. I had guy friends and girls as friends, and I guess the only thing that stood out is that I got along with the girls as well as I did the guys.

    After the first year at a local college, I went and lived on campus. I came completely out on campus and joined a gay organization that was an organization of the campus. We did have high school people show up to our meetings for social support. You might want to check with local colleges to see if they have any gay support groups.
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:31 AM GMT
    I grew up in Mexico. Saying I had a hard time in High School because I was gay is the understatement of the century (and middle school and pretty much grade school, the kids picked up on it immediately). Homophobia was pretty much encouraged by teachers and principals themselves. I was verbally, mentally and occasionally physically abused pretty much every day from K-12. Needless to say I think it's miraculous I didn't commit suicide, and even though I didn't really "come out" until I was about 22-23 I think it's remarkable I don't hate myself and I'm becoming comfortable venturing into having a relationship with a man.

    So yeah, some of us had it really hard icon_biggrin.gif But that's life! Live and learn and grow stronger.
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:34 AM GMT
    Well, I graduated from high school not too long ago...

    I guess I was partially closeted...friends knew but not "strangers"/"acquaintances"...

    I hope the bullying isn't too severe. It would help to know what kinds of actions are done to access the situation better.

    Because I don't know the extent of the bullying, I can only offer a general reply. If you want to talk about being gay in high school, I would talk to the counselor. He or she can help you out personally or redirect you to someone who might provide better emotional comfort. I had a bi counselor in high school that I regretted not talking to because I ended up repressing a lot of my feelings which only added internal stress.

    If the bullying is getting physical, I'd go to a counselor to seek advice on how to proceed. Again, since I don't know much about the bullying, it's hard to give advice on it.

    Unfortunately, high school seniors will be high school seniors and they'll likely be more immature to this kind of stuff. Is it possible to ride it out?

    I hope you find a personal solution to this.
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:36 AM GMT
    I was still in my colset when I was in HS back in where land taxies kill you W Worthington Franklin Ohio (NW side of Columbus Franklin Ohio) Few my supper colse gf had a clue but did not say anything to hurt me excipt Lucy and her sis Sammy JOE knew I was bi-curs/gay. When HS and some my College was over. I did have my share of ex-bf in Ohio. But when I did really open my dark side when I moved to CA about 6 years ago.

    Badwild
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:38 AM GMT
    I was picked on and made fun of in middle school. By high school, people were friendly about it.
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:46 AM GMT
    High school was ok for me. I felt like I had many friends but I would not allow myself to get really close with them, or as close as I wanted to be. Being closeted, you constantly have a wall up around you, which I did. It wasn't terribly hard, even though I was very depressed. I was not picked on, even though people suspected it. I think it helped being the fastest guy on the swim team too. Having a skill or being able to make people laugh always helps I think. You can't let your fears stop you from what you really want to be focusing on in high school. It also goes by really fast, so hang in there.
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    Dec 03, 2009 4:56 AM GMT
    Hard doesn't even being to describe it.

    I went to an ultra-religious private christian school. And of the denomination that believes in praying in tongues...They were the most judgement group of people I've ever encountered.

    When I was 8 my dad died and the kids made fun on me for it. Then when I was 11 the PE teacher there started molesting me. When I told them about it, they first accused me of making it up to get him in trouble. Then when it became obvious that it was true because of how many boys were coming forward...they accused me of seducing him...because there were rumors that I was gay floating around the school. I sued. Won. The school shut it's doors for good last year. But yeah I was suing my school while I was in highschool there, lol. icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 03, 2009 5:09 AM GMT
    haha, well, i need to say something, this sounds wierd, but i knew i was gay like on when i got 5 years...i dunno why the fuck i told my cuzin, 1 year younger then me to go suck dick, i am still thinking why i told it...i need a good answere for that o.o. anywais, HS in PR where i live now, is not that friendly...there are ALOT of stupid students that think the world is from them....they aer all such an assholes lol...ohh, and i wonder what my ex friedns will say when they see i have Gay sexuality on Myspace...but i havent get any BF yet.
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Dec 03, 2009 5:25 AM GMT
    I graduated from high school in 1975. The whole time was pretty hellish for me, mostly because I didn't believe I could tell anyone. I didn't come out until I was 22. I think there were other gay boys then, but I didn't know who they were.
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    Dec 03, 2009 5:43 AM GMT
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    I've kind of forgotten how hard High School, etc. can be for gays. I'm glad you all made it through it. I just find it so hard to believe that these things still happen considering my background. I was only called "gay" and "raped" (simulated) by this corpulent black guy in the locker room in middle school. God he was hideous. Grotesque. Monstrous even. I never thought much of it because I was/am emotionally numb and distant most of the time. Regardless of how bad things look though, there are people much worse off than you. (Take a look at the middle east.) All you can do is prosper. They say that that is the best revenge.
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    Dec 03, 2009 6:00 AM GMT
    Middle school was kinda hard.

    Someone spread rumors about me saying that I used tampons (lol)

    People would constantly either make jokes about me or mock me.

    The guys in the P.E locker room always said I was checking them out.

    I was open in middle school,but I was extremely annoyed when people would constantly ask me If I was gay.

    Once I entered high school I toughened up and didn't put up with peoples shit anymore.

    Some people tried to test me and I called them out on it. I liked very few people and trusted no one.

    A lot of people thought I was a Rude,Bitchy,Jerkish gay guy. but in reality 90% of the kids in high school were fucking annoying and rude(with their additude) Acting like they own the place.


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    Dec 03, 2009 7:05 AM GMT
    Yeah well I now know in retrospect that in addition to the usual crap, my class was peopled with a particularly Fascist Nazi White Heterosexual Supremest bunch of ASSHOLES. They were really sick.
    I dove into all these activities and buried myself in my work.
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    Dec 03, 2009 7:45 AM GMT
    I have had crap said to me all my life even before I came out. I mean even in elementary and I didn't know why or wtf. some people are just fucking mean and asshats. Excuse me if I don't act like a tough shit like all the other guys... just not my thing.