My Date With Mr. GQ

• masculumpedes
  
  Posts: 5549
  
  
  Dec 04, 2009 6:28 AM GMT

  
  
  I recently went out on a date with this guy I met just a short time ago. This guy looked pretty hot! He was the typical 'model' type of guy, tall, handsome and the type of smile that makes your heart beat faster.
  
  We got along great at first and I was looking forward to a very pleasant evening.....that is until Mr. GQ started making "helpful" comments: "You know, you'd look so much better if you'd just touch-up the gray in your hair!"
  ( I thought...WHAT.....Are my roots showing already?)
  
  He continued with "You also shouldn't wear that shirt; that's just not your color. I can tell you have a nice chest...you should wear something that defines it a bit more" (Hmmmm...maybe I should just take the shirt off....betcha he's like that...LOL)
  
  Needless to say, by the end of the evening, I was very turned off and went home alone, despite Mr.GQ's suggestion that we go back to his place. If he had only just been a little more pleasantly quiet, I very likely would have gone home with him. ( just to continue our conversation of course....) ;-)
  
  But hey...I still have his phone number! :-)
  
  

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• drypin
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 8:42 AM GMT

  malefeet,
  
  Did you try gentle correction?
  
  When he mentioned your beard (which looks pretty good to me by the way)
  
  "I can imagine you meant that to be helpful, but we hardly know each other and I'd like to enjoy the evening with you without any constructive criticism."
  
  When he mentioned your shirt
  
  "Tell you what: You don't find anything else on me that needs to be improved tonight and we'll get together on the weekend. You help me pick out a shirt that suits my coloring and build better and I'll buy us lunch."
  
  

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  Dec 04, 2009 10:40 AM GMT

  I'd have just punched him.

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 12:57 PM GMT

  Now Will..... what if he had just looked at you and said.... "Your fucking hot"!
  
  LOL

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• masculumpedes
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 1:22 PM GMT

  HndsmKansan saidNow Will..... what if he had just looked at you and said.... "Your fucking hot"!
  
  LOL

  
  
  Hmmm....Let me think about that one....

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  Dec 04, 2009 1:26 PM GMT

  Tacky behavior on the first date. That oddly can become welcome once you start a relationship. But a first date is too soon, very presumptuous and insulting.
  
  I've always asked for my guy's opinion about my outfits, and he mine, when we're gonna be "dressing" to go out. I even had one guy who'd have me knot his tie for him, since even at 50 he couldn't master the knot I used, that he said looked way better than his. And that was an ordinary four-in-hand, not a bow tie, which I can understand if a man can't manage these days.
  
  So he let me do his bow, too, and advise him on wardrobe, but only when he asked me. I never volunteered an opinion, because I knew he didn't like to be criticized. But inviting my input made it alright, a little mind game I wasn't annoyed to play.

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• ATLANTIS7
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 1:28 PM GMT

  Well good job you did not go home because he would have had a few more things to complain about l guess really l would have said sorry Mr Perfect l feel sick l have to use the loo and left!

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  Dec 04, 2009 1:37 PM GMT

  I'd guess that Mr. GQ is insecure enough (or shallow) that his frame of reference is pretty limited to guys who look and behave like himself. Best to have passed him over. In my experience, self-centered pretty boys are generally disappointing and boring in bed as well. On the bright side, he most have seen lots of "potential" in you (to be more like him...) Stick with what you've got, it's working just fine.

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• coolarmydude
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 1:41 PM GMT

  Sometimes, stereotypes are real.

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  Dec 04, 2009 2:14 PM GMT

  next time pimp slap that hoe

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  Dec 04, 2009 2:20 PM GMT

  So have you touched up the gray, tossed away that shirt, and wore clothes that show off your chest?

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  Dec 04, 2009 2:36 PM GMT

  I had a similar experience with a GQ wanna be. He even said to me "I always wanted to be one of those goreous guys"
  
  On our second date he began to offer constructive advice on my clothes. He offered good suggestins and actually we went through my closet and got rid of all the stuff that didn't fit me well, colors that didn't look good on me etc. I had my own personal fashion consultant, just like those makeover TV shows. I learned a lot from him.
  
  I allowed him to do this because I always welcome constructive advice, felt secure enough with myself and he was good at it, and you might as well learn from a pro, right?
  
  But afterwards, the advice turned to crtiticism, about my home, the furnishings, my choice of friends, the restaurants/movies and music I liked. I realized he needed to put me down in order to feel good about himself. He became extremely abusive and tried to wear down my self esteem. According to him, I was one of those gorgeous guys.
  
  Our relationship didn't last too long.
  
  In the OP's case, its hard to say. There might be other good things about Mr. GQ's personality, and he probably was guilty of bad timing and judgement, which doesn't make him a bad person. Try being honest with him about how you felt, and he may also be able to take your well meaning advice and pleasantly surprise you and apologize. Or maybe you are being too sensitive and unable to take good intentioned freindly advice. I wouldn't write him off.....but if the situation starts to sound like mine, then dump him fast.
  
  Or maybe there's no way in hell you like him as boyfriend material, but you kinda like him, still have his number, and just sex might be all you want from him if he has a decent personality. Contrary to what some people think, sometimes a Mr. GQ is really good in bed and you get that wonderful "afterglow" feeling.
  
  
  
  
  
  

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  Dec 04, 2009 2:43 PM GMT

  bitch would have got The Look from me.
  
  I have killed full grown bulls with it before.

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  Dec 04, 2009 2:59 PM GMT

  An addendum to my post above, where I mentioned advising each other about clothing when asked, as we were getting ready to go out together:
  
  If I were meeting my BF somewhere instead, then I definitely would not criticize the outfit that he was already wearing, lest it embarrass him and undermine his self-confidence. Since he can't change his clothes right there, what good does it do to mention it? It could make him feel uncomfortable, and why would I want that?
  
  All it serves to do is spoil his time with me, assuming such a comment from me would make him worry about his appearance in public. For his sake I want our time together to be happy, positive & upbeat, focused on us and not on negatives.
  
  And when you think about it, also a matter of being in my own best self-interests, too, to keep my mouth shut when it comes to criticism, no matter what I think about his outfit. Rather, I try to find something complimentary to say, not unlike presenting a gift of flowers or candy. Whereas verbally knocking him is like saying: "Here's a bucket of pus I brought, just for you. Enjoy!"

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• charrismd
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 3:04 PM GMT

  @ Lost Boy.....THE LOOK.
  
  I have a 7yo daughter with whom I've used THE LOOK since she was very young. She even calls it the VAMPIRE look and tells me 'not to look at me that way'. I'm a perma-single so can't imagine using it with a mate.

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  Dec 04, 2009 3:16 PM GMT

  What drypin said.
  
  

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  Dec 04, 2009 3:18 PM GMT

  maybe when you said 'date' he heard 'makeover.' Meh, it happens...I'm just surprised you went on a date with a GQ model with your hair all fucked up and wearing a puce shirt that was 2 sizes too large.
  
  did u even get to see his feet?

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• Timbales
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 3:22 PM GMT

  If I was a one nighter kind of guy, I'd have gone for it.

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  Dec 04, 2009 3:26 PM GMT

  Sounds like a fuck n' dump.

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  Dec 04, 2009 3:28 PM GMT

  NNJfitandbi saidWhat did you expect? Depth?

  
  
  These days, I don't expect depth from anybody no matter what they look like. Sometimes the most average guy is the most shallow, or be the one with integrity. Same with GQ guys. But my radar is always on, and when depth does show up, its a pleasant surprise.
  
  I think a guy who automatically assume a Mr. GQ has no depth is actually the most shallow one.

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• CuriousJockAZ
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 3:52 PM GMT

  Maybe you should have countered each criticism he gave you with of one of your own of him. I would have started with "You know, you would look so much hotter with 6 or 7 fewer tattoos".

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  Dec 04, 2009 3:57 PM GMT

  CuriousJockAZ saidMaybe you should have countered each criticism he gave you with of one of your own of him. I would have started with "You know, you would look so much hotter with 6 or 7 fewer tattoos".

  
  
  I think they are fake. The old English font saying Te Arawa is weird. I don't know why you would get a Maori descriptor in old English... especially if you are Caucasian.
  
  And there is nothing wrong with tattoos... as long as they are well chosen.

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  Dec 04, 2009 4:01 PM GMT

  CuriousJockAZ saidMaybe you should have countered each criticism he gave you with of one of your own of him. I would have started with "You know, you would look so much hotter with 6 or 7 fewer tattoos".

  
  
  that´s the next level up: other favorites include "so, were you expecting me to laugh at that comment?"
  "Did you think that cologne was a good idea, or were you using it as bug repellent"
  (Out of the blue) "Is that your natural colour, cos it doesn´t look good on you.
  Your brother is so charming and witty. Was he adopted?

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• CuriousJockAZ
  
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  Dec 04, 2009 4:07 PM GMT

  How about pulling out your breath mints and offering "Here, have one...PLEASE" or "Ummmm, before dinner arrives, could you remove that booger hanging out of your nose?"

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  Dec 04, 2009 4:22 PM GMT

  "that guy who I saw you with yesterday: do you think he would be interested. So far all the guys I have dated have been jerks.

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