top or bottom - do they define whether a guy is more masculine or feminine?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2007 2:33 PM GMT
    can someone please dispell the myth about being masculine and "manly" when it comes to bottoming or topping. I have heard that by submitting... you are considered being feminine. is this true?
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    Dec 28, 2007 3:23 PM GMT
    My best friend 'used' to be strickly a top until the last guy he started seeing. He's masculine and I wouldn't consider him feminine in any regard. This morning he was telling me how great it was to be flexible enough to perform in both roles.

    I personally feel it probably boils down to a matter of preference.

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    Dec 29, 2007 3:08 AM GMT
    We call this thinking heteronormative. That is, the fucked up shit heterosexuals do is normal and everything else is weird. Heteronormative people (gay and straight) think this way, and they are stupid.

    God gave men a prostate for a reason, so there is no reason he shouldn't slide anything and everything up there to get his rocks off.

    Besides, imagine what a masculine, dominant bottom could do to your penis? Whole religions are made of such stuff.
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    Dec 29, 2007 4:48 AM GMT
    Top or bottom is a matter of preference and i dont think it has n e thing to do with masculinity. I've been with bottoms that r very masculine and have seen feminine tops so its all just a matter of one's personal taste and the chemistry btwn 2 ppl.
  • Artesin

    Posts: 482

    Dec 29, 2007 5:55 AM GMT
    It makes you more sub/dom rather than masculine/feminine. Can't stand feminine bottoms, talk about ear splitting.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 29, 2007 6:34 AM GMT
    Good god no...
    I've seen the most masculine men when I've gotten to know them say that they like being bottoms
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    Dec 29, 2007 9:45 AM GMT
    I'm a pretty masculine guys, I work on card, play in the mud, and everyone tells me I am one of the "straightest" and most masculine guys they know, yet, I love bottoming, so as the rest said, I think it's a matter of preference.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 29, 2007 1:38 PM GMT
    Eventhough usually I am top when I am penetrating someone, I love to be on my back when I am making love with somebody. I dont know. I enjoy the weight of masculine men pinning me down. It kinda free my hand to caress and feel every part of his body. For the act of love making it nothing like an aggresive top, surrendering my body for him to enjoy . Since I rarely do anal in the first place really put me more bottom than top. Anyway , it depend on who I be with. I dont think that make me feminine or anything. Top or bottom they are same, nobody more masculine than another.
  • helium

    Posts: 378

    Dec 30, 2007 7:44 PM GMT
    I pretty much agree with everyone here. It's not an issue of being a top means you're masc and being a bottom means you're fem. I tend to be in the middle of it all myself. I can appear to be a bit straight-acting and some won't notice it at all but yet others can say that I act a bit fem myself. I am pretty much a top here but I don't see myself as being fem or masc but rather being comfortable in my own skin.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Dec 31, 2007 2:40 PM GMT
    I think I used to look at it like that, tops were masculine/agressive/dominate and bottoms were feminine/passive/submissive. That's one of the reasons I thought I was a bottom at first, because even though I AM MASCULINE, I'm not that aggessive or dominate. After trying to take a few dicks in my ass, I realized, hey, this shit ain't for me. LOL, so I started topping. Most of the bottoms I meet aren't feminine, they could be agressive, I think (just like everyone else in here) it just depends on the personality/preference.
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    Dec 31, 2007 4:31 PM GMT
    this is all great insight.. keep it comin and thanks;)
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    Dec 31, 2007 4:40 PM GMT
    No it doesn't mean a thing. I prefer being the top not because I am masculine acting (which I am) but because I find being the bottom too painful/uncomfortable.
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    Jan 02, 2008 5:14 PM GMT
    It's about sharing something with another person. I really don't consider myself masculine, but that doesn't mean I don't top. I don't consider myself fem, but that doesn't stop me from bottoming either. Do what feels good and don't worry about the rest...

    and as always


    be safe.
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    Jan 03, 2008 9:45 AM GMT
    I have to confess that I have been very biased in relation to the butch/femme top/bottom issue. I tend to adapt my desired position based on my perception of my partner's level of masculinity relative to my own.

    .....and it almost always backfires. I'll be beside myself with anticipation of being topped by some hot ridiculously manly stud only to have him pin me down and then impale himself on me. Round two usually ends the same way despite my suggestion to mix it up a little. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2008 1:01 PM GMT
    Didn't you ever hear this saying
    Butch in the streets Bitch in the sheets
    Bitch in the streets Butch in the sheets
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    Jan 03, 2008 1:08 PM GMT
    RBY71 saidI have to confess that I have been very biased in relation to the butch/femme top/bottom issue. I tend to adapt my desired position based on my perception of my partner's level of masculinity relative to my own.

    .....and it almost always backfires. I'll be beside myself with anticipation of being topped by some hot ridiculously manly stud only to have him pin me down and then impale himself on me. Round two usually ends the same way despite my suggestion to mix it up a little. icon_rolleyes.gif


    aint that a bitch! ha ha ha ha being a "power" bottom icon_lol.gif I can so relate to that! I pick the big mean manly tops too and end up with total cock jockeys! and it aint gonna happen icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Jan 07, 2008 10:54 AM GMT
    One word: PROSTATE!!!!!!!!! I'm vesitile and have never thought of any of my previous botoms as very feminine. Why would I... I like men!!icon_razz.gif!!
  • swall1963

    Posts: 161

    Jan 10, 2008 12:49 AM GMT
    I don't think it makes a difference. My boyfriend is probably one of the more masculine guys (straight or gay) I have met and he is a total bottom.
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    Jan 10, 2008 6:41 PM GMT
    It doesn't make a difference as long as the sex is good.

    My ex and I got rrreal good at switchin off and the sex was fawkin hot!

    play it's what life's about
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    Feb 02, 2008 1:24 PM GMT
    Yes it's a myth. The only guy I was ever in a relationship with is not what most would consider to be Macho and he is all top.
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    Feb 13, 2008 4:40 PM GMT
    Almost all my sexual experiences have been with bottoms. It has been my experience that bottoms, in general, are more masculine. And why not, everything else is upside-down in the gay experience. Hey, were not st8s, so we don't have to adopt those stereotypical roles.
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    Mar 16, 2008 5:17 PM GMT
    musclblkguynpgh1 saidcan someone please dispell the myth about being masculine and "manly" when it comes to bottoming or topping. I have heard that by submitting... you are considered being feminine. is this true?


    Most of the remarks here say the masc/fem...top bottum thing doesn't apply. But isn't it interesting....when some gay guys want to insult you, or put you down, they tend to use insults that reinforce the bottum/fem connection, even when they don't know a thing about you.

    What I hate is the derogetory degrading bullshit that some guys get into. Don't get me wrong...it's hot when a guy want me to rough him up and be aggressive and assertive and to take control...which I enjoy. But it's another thing for him to want me to treat him like a pig, like dirt, and when he puts himself into the role of being feminine ( what a freakin turn off). Or how about the top guys who THINK they are the man simply because they are on top?....the ones that are into "fucking a bitch"?....I'm embarressed to say that it has been a very very long time since I have been in the bottum position. Any patient masculine men out there who know what they are doing and can teach a virgin? LOL
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    Mar 16, 2008 6:06 PM GMT
    im versatile depending on the guy....
    i dont find being a bottom degrading to a man's status at all.

    Its all sexual pleasure, and what pleases u, not what defines u as masculine/feminine....

    I know some of the manliest guy to be bottoms...and seeing how i bottom at times, i surely dont think im a femme..as masculine as they get with a thick voice icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 17, 2008 1:11 AM GMT
    I can't say I'm terribly experienced, at this age...

    The thing that bothers me the most are the people (especially the tops) who say they honestly couldn't see themselves being anything else.

    Maybe I've been exposed wrongly to things, but I guess I'm scarred in that way. To me, the preference you state to someone says a lot about you. Nothing wrong with having one, unless your preference and the person you are really say something. Seems so shallow.

    I've met a lot of guys (in their 20s) who insist that they are more masculine, and only tops. I just don't like it. Sure a bottom can get pleasure just the same as a top can, but it's in a different way.

    Love (and thus sex) is mutual, right? Sure, have a preference, or something you enjoy, but why close yourself entirely to one? I don't understand it.