Dec 04, 2009 4:19 PM GMT
When I took economics classes in school, I heard about the “redistribution of wealth.” A more useful topic for me in later life would have been the “redistribution of HAIR.”
We all know how some men start losing the hair on their heads, and while luckier than many, I’ve still had the receding hairline, and now a thinning of my crown. And my hairy legs have gone smooth, my arms sparse, and my pubes thinning, too.
But perhaps just as bad is the new hair that begins appearing in unwanted places, almost like a tit-for-tat deal: for every hair I lose in one place, a replacement appears somewhere else, in a place I don’t want. It’s like my total hair count has to remain constant, it just moves around.
And where are those unwanted places? Well, my ear lobes and ear canals, for instance, keeping my tweezers busy, and have to I shave the tops of my ears daily. Or in my nose, so I had to buy a special electric trimmer. And then my back -- gorilla-city! My last 3 guys didn’t like it, so I had to keep it shaven, which they were willing to do in the shower (and me for one of them). Thank gawd my present partner isn’t bothered, though I feel embarrassed at the beach.
Bottom line for many men: as you grow older, the battle of unwanted hairs will make your body more high-maintenance that it ever was before, assuming you don’t want to look like a homeless derelict. I suppose I should look into laser removal or something, if it’s really permanent in those places. Just nothing I ever anticipated when I was younger. Be forewarned of what awaits you.
We all know how some men start losing the hair on their heads, and while luckier than many, I’ve still had the receding hairline, and now a thinning of my crown. And my hairy legs have gone smooth, my arms sparse, and my pubes thinning, too.
But perhaps just as bad is the new hair that begins appearing in unwanted places, almost like a tit-for-tat deal: for every hair I lose in one place, a replacement appears somewhere else, in a place I don’t want. It’s like my total hair count has to remain constant, it just moves around.
And where are those unwanted places? Well, my ear lobes and ear canals, for instance, keeping my tweezers busy, and have to I shave the tops of my ears daily. Or in my nose, so I had to buy a special electric trimmer. And then my back -- gorilla-city! My last 3 guys didn’t like it, so I had to keep it shaven, which they were willing to do in the shower (and me for one of them). Thank gawd my present partner isn’t bothered, though I feel embarrassed at the beach.
Bottom line for many men: as you grow older, the battle of unwanted hairs will make your body more high-maintenance that it ever was before, assuming you don’t want to look like a homeless derelict. I suppose I should look into laser removal or something, if it’s really permanent in those places. Just nothing I ever anticipated when I was younger. Be forewarned of what awaits you.