What guys look for in a message?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:04 AM GMT
    Over the past few months I have sent out messages to guys with a basic "hey whats going on?" because I thought I should just make it short and sweet, however, a lot of guys do not respond. I am not sure if they are not interested in me or if they just don't think i've made enough of an effort to dignify me with a response. So my question is when you write or recieve a message what do you aim or look for that will elicit a response?
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    hmmm mines different for every person...

    Usually it's something like

    Hey, how you doing? liked your profile/what you wrote/bla bla bla

    If they say something in there profile that I can poke gentle fun at I do.. stuff like that

    I don't respond to everyone simple because I don't, sometimes I read a message think I'll respond later and forget that I was suppose to do that so heh

    OOOH SHIT That reminds me I gotta respond to someone hahaha icon_redface.gif ooers he's gonna be nicked at mooooiiiii
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 06, 2009 12:10 AM GMT
    I usually try to keep it short and sweet.....giving them a compliment as an opening statement. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:13 AM GMT
    Internet correspondence at a glance. If you write more than 2 lines you're clingy, desparate or psycho. If you write less than 2 lines, you're dull, unimaginitive, boring, and not worth responding to.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 06, 2009 12:18 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidOOOH SHIT That reminds me I gotta respond to someone hahaha icon_redface.gif ooers he's gonna be nicked at mooooiiiii


    Nah...it's all good....I'm a patient man. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:20 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    lilTanker saidOOOH SHIT That reminds me I gotta respond to someone hahaha icon_redface.gif ooers he's gonna be nicked at mooooiiiii


    Nah...it's all good....I'm a patient man. icon_wink.gif

    hahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:24 AM GMT
    I'll usually respond to a quick one-line message (more likely if it's actually written in sentence form) unless I forget, or get distracted, etc. If the second message isn't a bit more substantial or show some personal investment, though, I'm over it.
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:32 AM GMT
    zdrew saidI'll usually respond to a quick one-line message (more likely if it's actually written in sentence form) unless I forget, or get distracted, etc. If the second message isn't a bit more substantial or show some personal investment, though, I'm over it.

    He also responds to whorish letters written in drunken slur...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:33 AM GMT
    Well if I can get a guy to a second message then I am definitely successful to win them over with my personality and charm lol its just frustrating trying to get someone to notice you sometimes. I don't want to write something to long because if they don't respond I just wasted my time. I mean maybe I should risk it? Although there are times that a guy won't even have anything in his profile to talk about, ill just think hes cute. I won't lie guys are sucker for compliments so maybe I can just tell them their cute haha but at the end of the day I have no game when it comes to talking to some one at first.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 06, 2009 12:40 AM GMT
    AntiHer017 saidI have no game when it comes to talking to some one at first.


    I just read your profile....Recognize anyone?

    778963-byrne_avengers_vs_defenders_.jpg

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    Dec 06, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    AntiHer017 saidhaha but at the end of the day I have no game when it comes to talking to some one at first.

    pffffffffft you got.. umm... "game" dear... you also got "hot" too

    Write a message, if they don't respond shrug and find the next one to textually communicate with
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:52 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    AntiHer017 saidI have no game when it comes to talking to some one at first.


    I just read your profile....Recognize anyone?



    I wish I knew who you were referring to as much as I love my marvel characters lol
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    Dec 06, 2009 12:54 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    AntiHer017 saidhaha but at the end of the day I have no game when it comes to talking to some one at first.

    pffffffffft you got.. umm... "game" dear... you also got "hot" too

    Write a message, if they don't respond shrug and find the next one to textually communicate with


    haha thanks its what I've been doing for 5 years lol one day someone will crack =)
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Dec 06, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    I always respond to the first message (so long as it isn't a buddy listing). I only stop the conversation if there ends up nothing left for me to say, and they didn't ask a question. Other than that I make an effort.

    /jeez, I'm gonna get a 100 emails after posting this, aren't I?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 2:16 AM GMT
    zdrew saidI'll usually respond to a quick one-line message (more likely if it's actually written in sentence form) unless I forget, or get distracted, etc. If the second message isn't a bit more substantial or show some personal investment, though, I'm over it.


    Yep.

    In a sea of pictures, pictures of people across the country.... If one responded to everyone and tried to force them to be interesting, one would invest a LOT of time.

    I look for something specific about them or me that may connect us. Or something that intrigues me. Within the message.

    And a picture.
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    Dec 06, 2009 2:19 AM GMT
    What I try and include in my message, and what I would hope someone included in theirs to me, is something that elicits an open response. Saying "Hi, how are you?" can just lead to a response of "Good."

    Whereas something like "Hey, I noticed you're into [insert sport here]. Me too. Do you play it or just watch it?" I mean, sure, the person could be a douche and respond with a one-word response but at least you're creating a conversation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 2:20 AM GMT
    I'll almost always respond unless i forget about it... or if it's really creepy.

    But, the best ones to respond to, as i can give an actual response, are specific ones; like about something i wrote, something on my profile, etc. The "hey, how's it going?" will get a response, but likely just a "not bad, yourself?".

    although, i think my favourite was 6 emails in a row from the same person, all within the time span of 2 minutes:

    "hey, you're cute. meet for coffee? let me know"

    "hey... coffee?"

    "you there?"

    "when we meet? you tell me"

    "hello?"

    "tell me when"


    my response:

    "we don't even live on the same continent"

    (it still got a response!)
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Dec 06, 2009 2:36 AM GMT
    AntiHer017 saidOver the past few months I have sent out messages to guys with a basic "hey whats going on?" because I thought I should just make it short and sweet, however, a lot of guys do not respond. I am not sure if they are not interested in me or if they just don't think i've made enough of an effort to dignify me with a response. So my question is when you write or recieve a message what do you aim or look for that will elicit a response?


    _____________________________________________________
    Okay, a good looking total stranger has asked me, "What's going on ?"
    My first thought for a response is, "Nothing."

    Messages like, "What's going on ?", "What's up ?", "How are you ?", or "Hi," don't go far enough to invite a response, much less a thoughtful one.

    Think about why you are sending a message to a particular person.
    Just to say, "Hi" isn't worth your time, nor his time to read it.

    Compliment the guy on his face or his body or his dog.
    Comment on something he posted in a thread.
    Comment on something that stood out from his profile page.
    Comment on something that you have in common.
    Ask a question about his workout routine, his dog, the city where he lives, his occupation, what he's studying in school...

    In other words, if you want a response, say something thoughtful.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 3:01 AM GMT
    I have to agree with the others. Messages like "what's up" or "how's it going" or "sup bro" will get you nowhere.

    Take 2 minutes to read their profile and strike up a conversation based on what is provided. If their profile is blank or lacks details, then come up with something based on their pics. If you see that they are active in the forums, then read some of their posts and use that.

    Keep the initial message short. No more than 3 or 4 sentences. If they don't respond. Don't send another message asking why they didn't respond. Some guys aren't online all the time and it takes a while to respond. And some guys will only respond if you're their "type". Yeah, sad but true. But don't let it get you down. There are lots of other cool guys here. icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 06, 2009 3:25 AM GMT
    I like a compliment or something funny in a message and try to do the same. Some guys just seem unwilling to write back or even acknowledge that you've sent them a message. I don't understand it but I wouldn't take it personally.

    I'm a huge comic dork too—you should've written me because I would've responded. ;)
  • NursePractiti...

    Posts: 232

    Dec 06, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    I don't respond to hotlist much. Sometimes. But I do respond to emails. And buddy lists. Funny thing, no one on my buddy list is online when I am. Except two people. Could be because I am working at 3am. U.S. time.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Dec 06, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    zdrew saidI'll usually respond to a quick one-line message (more likely if it's actually written in sentence form) unless I forget, or get distracted, etc. If the second message isn't a bit more substantial or show some personal investment, though, I'm over it.


    Same for me. I recently got a message saying "Hey you seem cool I'd like to get to know you better." Then it became obvious that the person had not read any of the things I had written about myself, nor did they seem that curious. I was asking all the questions, and not getting asked any myself. So I didn't even have to stop responding, I had nothing to respond TO anymore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 3:45 AM GMT
    AntiHer017 saidOver the past few months I have sent out messages to guys with a basic "hey whats going on?" because I thought I should just make it short and sweet, however, a lot of guys do not respond. I am not sure if they are not interested in me or if they just don't think i've made enough of an effort to dignify me with a response. So my question is when you write or recieve a message what do you aim or look for that will elicit a response?


    They are not interested in you. If they were they would respond no matter how short or long the message
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 3:47 AM GMT
    I am opposite of zdrew. I want to see that the guy put some thought into writing to ME Something to show that he isnt just shooting these one-liners to anybody and everybody to see who responds. I am interested in knowing what prompted his messaging me. And for him to "tell" me why I should be interested in communicating with him. After all, he is the one writing me and wants me to respond.

    Caslon would have to hire a social secretary if he responded to every " 'sup?" ... icon_rolleyes.gif


    Dis bettur be important
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    Oh, you know, the usual. I look for the ability to convey honesty, integrity, commitment, a deep heart-felt connection, faithfulness, a muscular brain, and poetic words as if originating from the soft-manicured fingers of a handsome rugged man. In essence, someone who will complete me.

    Pretty simple to do; the above is nothing extraordinary.You put all that in one or two coherent, well-structured sentences, and a response is guaranteed from most people.