I kissed a boy and I liked it...

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    Dec 07, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    This is a little lengthy... so be aware!

    Okay... so on Halloween night of 6th grade, I got "truth or dared" to kiss this boy on the mouth for ten seconds. Since we were the only two boys there, I agreed to do it. He was really weird and Gothic at the time, but grow more attractive over the years. I know this because I saw him later on when I was in 12th grade while he mowed the lawn with no shirt on. I also saw him at a party that year where I had gotten really smashed at lol. I was so smashed that someone had to volunteer to help take care of me (I was young and didn't know how to handle my liquor) and it turned out to be him! I spent the night at his place that night because I couldn't go home drunk or else my parents would have killed me. I woke up with my pants undone the next morning and didn't know what to think. He told me a couple days later that we had hooked up. We haven't talked since. Fast forward to today... he's married! A part of me wants shoot him a message seeing what is up, and ask if his life had changed after we hooked up like mine has?

    Is that ethical or no?
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    Dec 07, 2009 12:53 AM GMT
    well in my opinion you shouldn't meddle in his life. He is yet to figure it out, but if you say something you will face his anger which might directed towards something beyond his own control.
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    Dec 07, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    Yes, that is true. I guess I was just hoping that I could find an answer within his answer if that makes any sense?
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    Dec 07, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    Don't go there, dude... let bygones be bygones.
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    Dec 07, 2009 12:59 AM GMT
    No, do not contact him. Either he was a curious kid exploring or he is now living in the closet. He doesn't need you involved in dealing with his issues. If you run in to him say hi, but otherwise stay away.
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    Dec 07, 2009 1:14 AM GMT
    Let it go man. No good will come from contacting him.
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    Dec 07, 2009 2:42 AM GMT
    Let him make the first move. If he comes back. cool, if not let it go.
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    Dec 07, 2009 2:49 AM GMT
    Let it go
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    Dec 07, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    Just forget about him, let him live his life, and move on. The last thing you want is to cause marital problems between a guy you hooked up with in high school while drunk and his wife.
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    Dec 07, 2009 4:16 AM GMT
    As many have said there are good reasons not to contact him. But I'm not sure I would rule out not contacting him.

    For one I would assume he's close to your age -- that's an assumption of mine that may or may not be true, and if married at that young age it may or may not mean that much. Maybe he was young and experimenting, or maybe he really does like guys, and if he does he probably won't stay married. If the later case if true and he won't stay married, but probably will end up with men, but not you, and there is no shortage of men out there -- and that is neither a good nor a bad thing for either of you.

    I might contact him. I don't think it is wrong to contact him if you are prepared for the fact that he might not respond, or only want to be friends and nothing more. But I would contact him only if you can be a friend and nothing else. And I say this because I have male friends who I've had crushes on in the past, but we're still friends -- in these cases those crushes were never acted upon. In some cases I'm on sure they are straight, or at least I've had inklings to indicate otherwise, but we're still friends and they're married at this point in time with kids. I currently also have a boyfriend and am not looking for anyone, and love my boyfriend. But sometimes I do wonder that if things had been different what might have happened, and if I were single I might still be interested.

    Sex and sexuality are often complicated, and not straightforward. I might contact him, but would not put any expectations on it. If he is gay it will come out at some point in time, and honestly I wouldn't feel guilty in that case that his marriage ended -- it would anyway. But I would only contact him if you can do it expecting nothing in return.
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    Dec 07, 2009 4:21 AM GMT
    Rhule08 saidThis is a little lengthy... so be aware!


    You clearly haven't seen any of my posts if you think THAT is lengthy. I need to learn to abridge my thoughts like you.

    As for your question. I'd say "let it be". Live your life. While the question may irk you, I don't think any answer will suffice.
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    Dec 07, 2009 4:26 AM GMT
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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    Dec 07, 2009 4:39 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    Rhule08 saidThis is a little lengthy... so be aware!


    You clearly haven't seen any of my posts if you think THAT is lengthy. I need to learn to abridge my thoughts like you.

    As for your question. I'd say "let it be". Live your life. While the question may irk you, I don't think any answer will suffice.


    In Winnipeg, we don't USE words...
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    Dec 07, 2009 4:41 AM GMT
    TrowelMonger said
    MeOhMy said
    Rhule08 saidThis is a little lengthy... so be aware!


    You clearly haven't seen any of my posts if you think THAT is lengthy. I need to learn to abridge my thoughts like you.

    As for your question. I'd say "let it be". Live your life. While the question may irk you, I don't think any answer will suffice.


    In Winnipeg, we don't USE words...


    Apparently they use Kendo sticks
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    Dec 07, 2009 5:04 AM GMT
    If you two did not have the interest to talk after that night, then there isn't any reason to talk now. At this point, it would just be bringing up the past and it may not be a past that he wants to relive.

    If you had stayed friends after that night, maybe then you would have a reason to contact him. Say if you two had been together for months or even years, then your relationship would be a big piece of his past that he should not be ignoring. One night does not always decide the fate of a person's entire life.

    Let him be!
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    Dec 07, 2009 5:07 AM GMT
    TrowelMonger said
    MeOhMy said
    Rhule08 saidThis is a little lengthy... so be aware!


    You clearly haven't seen any of my posts if you think THAT is lengthy. I need to learn to abridge my thoughts like you.

    As for your question. I'd say "let it be". Live your life. While the question may irk you, I don't think any answer will suffice.


    In Winnipeg, we don't USE words...


    YOU LIE


    winnipeg.jpg



    but so do they ^^^
  • EricLA

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    Dec 07, 2009 5:12 AM GMT
    I'm not sure it's a matter of ethics, but I don't think any good can come of it. I mean this in no way as a personal attack -- I don't know you and I don't know your motivations here -- but I see this as a selfish act. He's made his choices and is living his life. There are probably numerous reasons for you to reach out to him, but the one that pops to the top of the list in my mind is that you'd like to relive the glory days with him.

    I say leave things as they are.
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    Dec 07, 2009 5:12 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    TrowelMonger said
    MeOhMy said
    Rhule08 saidThis is a little lengthy... so be aware!


    You clearly haven't seen any of my posts if you think THAT is lengthy. I need to learn to abridge my thoughts like you.

    As for your question. I'd say "let it be". Live your life. While the question may irk you, I don't think any answer will suffice.


    In Winnipeg, we don't USE words...


    YOU LIE


    winnipeg.jpg



    but so do they ^^^


    And in non-English as well....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 07, 2009 5:13 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    TrowelMonger said
    MeOhMy said
    Rhule08 saidThis is a little lengthy... so be aware!


    You clearly haven't seen any of my posts if you think THAT is lengthy. I need to learn to abridge my thoughts like you.

    As for your question. I'd say "let it be". Live your life. While the question may irk you, I don't think any answer will suffice.


    In Winnipeg, we don't USE words...


    YOU LIE


    winnipeg.jpg



    but so do they ^^^


    They must use music in Winnipeg, but there does seem to be a lot words here:

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    Dec 07, 2009 5:42 AM GMT
    besides, who knows, maybe you never really hooked up.
    Penis breath doesn't survive two days.
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    Dec 07, 2009 9:02 AM GMT
    Come to think of it, you guys are right! I guess since he was the first and only guy I've ever done something with, I got a little attached (not in a creepy way lol or anything). If I made an attempt to talk to him first I'd feel like a home wrecker. Good thing I asked everyone before I decided to Facebook him. FEW!