Snooping. Would you if you could get away with it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2009 1:00 AM GMT
    It seems many guys are very insecure or basically just lack trust in their relationships. Fess up. Has anyone ever snooped on their partner? A few years ago my ex boyfriend took my phone bill and called any number which he thought was suspicious. I think it's a total invasion of someone's privacy!
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    Dec 08, 2009 1:34 AM GMT
    We both do it. (My partner and I.)

    I actually read something on here early and got him to open up about it. That pretty much fixed all problems we were having, so I don't feel so guilty about it. We shouldn't have anything to hide anyway. (My husby agrees.)

    (Apparently he also checks out all of my web pages. He notices when I delete things. I delete things so that he notices. It works for us)
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Dec 08, 2009 1:37 AM GMT
    I am a private person, and I respect a boyfriend's privacy.
    He is 100% free to do whatever he wants.
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    Dec 08, 2009 1:43 AM GMT
    left arrow Pictures, Images and Photos
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    Dec 08, 2009 1:45 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear saidleft arrow Pictures, Images and Photos
    inspector_gadget.jpg


    Thank you. I don't think you can help it.
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    Dec 08, 2009 1:48 AM GMT
    Ditto for us, Brandosaurus, so neither of us bother snoop, because we can! lol


    Individual closely guarded privacy in relationships can feel like freedom, but can sometimes be the bars on an individual's prison.


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    Dec 08, 2009 1:54 AM GMT
    I do it for the lulz too.
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    Dec 08, 2009 1:54 AM GMT
    I couldn't, but only because it would feel like cheating.
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    Dec 08, 2009 2:38 AM GMT

    I think it would a sign of something being very wrong in a relationship if I felt compelled to snoop on a boyfriend. The obvious first issue would be my concern that he's up to something I may not like that he's not sharing. A bigger issue (at least in my book) is that something was making me so feel unable to talk to him about my suspicion or insecurity that I would do something as wrong as violate the privacy of his communications.
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    Dec 08, 2009 2:45 AM GMT
    no, I've got no interest in a partners emails, sms's and web browsing activities, having actually seem them before I know they are as boring as sin..
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    Dec 08, 2009 2:47 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidno, I've got no interest in a partners emails, sms's and web browsing activities, having actually seem them before I know they are as boring as sin..


    I snoop on liltanker all the time. Turns out he is sleeping with other boys. I'm heartbrokenicon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2009 2:48 AM GMT
    Look for something hard enough and you'll find it.
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    Dec 08, 2009 2:50 AM GMT

    But if you smell a rat in your house...do you not look or if your car is sounding funny, do you not look under the hood?

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    Dec 08, 2009 2:55 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    But if you smell a rat in your house...do you not look or if your car is sounding funny, do you not look under the hood?



    Similes aside, if you suspect something is wrong in relation to your partner/boyfriend you talk to them, you don't hack into their email looking for something to substantiate a (possibly or possibly not) unfounded suspicion.
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    Dec 08, 2009 3:01 AM GMT

    Why bother him if you can just check into it yourself? If he's guilty...he will most likely lie and if he's not, well we're human and will still feel that nagging question. If you don't like similes (I can't imagine why), looking into it yourself is not an invasion of his privacy, because he is part of your life and like anything else in your life, he's your business. What I meant by the simile is it's not best too look until it's undeniable that something is going on. It's usually pretty evident (dead rat).

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    Dec 08, 2009 3:11 AM GMT
    Similes rock actually. But on point, I've had my email hacked into by a significant other in the past, had a draft of an email totally misconstrued and then broken up with based on it, when I had done absolutely not one fucking thing wrong. That's what I meant by finding something if you look hard enough.

    So in my personal experience snooping wasn't the best option.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 08, 2009 3:21 AM GMT
    Very little at all.... he has a bedroom here and has furniture, closet items, etc. I rarely even go in there. Its none of my business, its his space.
    If I'm 'not comfortable with it, we shouldn't be together.
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    Dec 08, 2009 3:22 AM GMT
    I get you, but I've always thought if a guy needed to, he should and I wouldn't get mad because if I needed to, I would as well. In a real deal relationship, I'd surrender up my heart, my body, my personal space to a guy; have at my privacy. I got him, baby...I don't need it anymore. emoticon-0152-heart.png

    ...........................................



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    Dec 08, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    I did.... I was right about what I suspected, but wrong for doing it. It turned me into such an unforgiving asshole. Lesson in that: espionage is a dangerous game; worse when you're spying on our allies.
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    Dec 08, 2009 4:22 AM GMT
    i can, but don't. we each have permission to look at each other's stuff, but we have no need for it. i never get bothered if he's talking to someone about comics or cocks. if it's a good conversation, he'll share it with me. icon_biggrin.gif
  • bryjeepguy

    Posts: 186

    Dec 08, 2009 4:31 AM GMT
    I unfortunately haven't been in a relationship long enough where got to be an issue, lol. But I am a very compartmental private person but generally open also, and have gotten upset when I told private things to one friend in chat and their bf read his chat logs and started to gossip on things I said to my friend to others and I hear about it from a 3rd party. I personally don't invade others privacy ever, i respect the privacy lines people I default by create for them and the privacy lines people and they create for themselves and don't cross them, and this has overall been detrimental to me as I have been hurt by liars who I could have exposed long before if I pried into their privacy, but didn't and because of that was hurt far worse, but not upset with my actions just them, and still I respect privacy and would probably have a hard time being with someone who violated my privacy but that's because I also am open and if people ask then I will tell the truth and when I don't want to talk about something I don't lie I honestly just say I don't want to talk about it which sometimes gives away the truth but that's just me lol.
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    Dec 08, 2009 4:40 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    But if you smell a rat in your house...do you not look or if your car is sounding funny, do you not look under the hood?


    I look under the bonnet yes, but a car is different..

    I have to trust my partner to be honest with me, to be upfront and communicative, if he refuses to talk and I feel he's not being honest, I talk, if he refuses to, I push.
    I don't tend to trust people and run a great deal off instinct, I'm also strangely good at spotting a lie and dragging information out of some one.

    I never dated anyone until I met my ex, while all the guys I slept with where good people, they didn't inspire the sort of confidence that my ex did and i've met few who have, my trust doesn't go to someone because I'm smitten with them, I don't fall easily and I certainly get involved with someone on that level without a strong instinctual trust of them...

    If i turn out to be wrong, so be it, but i'm not going to go snooping and putting my own morals behind because I've an "inkling somethings up" they don't get laid down for almost anything.
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    Dec 08, 2009 5:01 AM GMT
    I'm not gonna snoop. I make a point of utter transparency -- meaning if for some reason my boyfriend came across a raunchy email to lilTanker, for instance, he'd know it's all in harmless fun, because I tell him about the innocent flirting I do with Tanker. I'm not gonna do, say, or write something that could be misconstrued. My boyfriend knows that, and Tanker knows that - which is why I can say I'm gonna ride his ass like a tired old pony next time I'm in Australia. icon_wink.gif

    I once dated a basketcase who was constantly suspicious of me (for absolutely no good reason). When it became clear he was snooping and distrusting me instead of just talking to me, I dumped him.

    (And Benji, I used you as my example in retaliation for that thread about me a couple weeks ago.) icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 08, 2009 5:20 AM GMT
    I'm pleased to say: never have!
  • SanEsteban

    Posts: 454

    Dec 08, 2009 5:25 AM GMT
    I don't like the thought of snooping on someone else. If I am in a relationship, I don't need to know what text message came in, what an email may say etc etc etc. If you can't trust the person you are in the relationship with, then you shouldn't be in the relationship.