Have you come OUT to your friends or family recently?

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    Dec 29, 2007 8:14 PM GMT
    Coming OUT

    What was your experience like? What approach worked for you? I am trying to give some advice to my friend's little brother. Thanks, guys!!
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    Dec 29, 2007 9:30 PM GMT
    I think coming out is a process for most people, you tell different people at different stages of your life based on comfort. I don't suggest the holiday dinner big announce of "I am gay" but rather having meaningful chats with the people who matter to you.

    I suggest everyone come out because it will lift the pressure off of you to be honest and open. But it must be done when you are ready. I do NOT suggest coming out if there is the possibility of physical abuse, financial problems resulting from lack of funds or being thrown out of the house, will, etc.
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    Dec 29, 2007 11:09 PM GMT
    i actually came out to one of my buddies last night, first one. honestly. i've been thinkin bout this for a long time, and i finally narrowed it down to two people 'm ready to tell until i'm done at school when i'll start tellin everyone.

    basically. i've chosen 2 people, who are friends with me and each other, and who i trust... ALOT. chose them cuz i know they aren't gonna tell people, but i didnt find it fair to tell one person and have that person have to keep it to themselves in case they wanted to discuss with someone other than me. so now they at least have an outlet to talk about any issues they might have or just general gossip to each other.

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    Dec 30, 2007 2:50 AM GMT
    I just calculated that 2007 is my 30th anniversary of coming out. And I missed it! ... icon_eek.gif
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    Dec 30, 2007 3:07 AM GMT
    I started coming out to people this July, and wager I finished the process two months back when I told my parents.

    It gets easier as it goes, until you come to the people who are hardest, like your parents. I expected a horrible reaction from them, particularly my father, but my mom wasn't surprised and my dad didn't care. icon_biggrin.gif ...Which was quite a pleasant surprise.

    Telling the people who know you best is probably the best course of action, and females typically already have a hunch about guys. They get along TOO well to be normal, you know?

    My coming out process was fantastic. I haven't had a bad response yet, but nonetheless, every time you tell someone, it drains you physically and emotionally, which is what made this semester so long and arduous for me.

    Patrick
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    Dec 30, 2007 3:43 AM GMT
    danwestla saidComing OUT

    What was your experience like? What approach worked for you? I am trying to give some advice to my friend's little brother. Thanks, guys!!


    Every persons situation is different. In my case only a select few at work know and these people I trust. I work with 300 gossiping women so I opted to keep things private. No one in my family knows yet, mainly because of their homophobic puritan beliefs. May tell my brother when he comes out (to visit) in two weeks.

    Advise to be careful who he wants to come out to. Telling the wrong person could cause more problems then he wants. Be selective.

    First person I told was my best friend who happens to be gay as well. He came out to me some time ago and had suspicions about me from the time he met me. We are very close but have never crossed the line with each other.

    The second person I told is a good friend of mine and a Lesbian (not that it matters). She told me that she considered it an honor that I would place such confidence and trust in her to tell her and that she would not 'out me' and understood why I was reluctant to fully come out of the closet.

    The third person I told at work is a self described 'fag hag'. I trust her as well too.

    The fourth person I've told at work is one of our physicians in the E.D. He also serves as the advisor to the healh systems president on LGBT affairs. He welcomed me to the family.

    Just my experiences.
  • Artesin

    Posts: 482

    Dec 30, 2007 4:03 AM GMT
    Came out when I was 14. Didn't really know my friends very well then so figured it wouldn't matter if they had some issue but no one cared and were all still friends. Probably helps that a few are bi and mostly female. My scenario is just jumping headlong into it, as long as your not losing a job I don;t see how its an issue nor do random peers illogical threats or harrasments mean anything. Especially when there are people around to support you.