Having a gay best friend

  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Dec 10, 2009 12:30 AM GMT
    Does it seem right to have a best friend whose gay when you yourself are gay?

    To me it seems like there is a risk of crushing on the guy, ruining your friendship and/or your current relationship. On the other hand I've been thinking about possibly becoming very good friends with a gay guy... it would be cool to have someone to talk to who can easily relate to your situations, and can give a helping hand in some of the gayer issues in life.

    What do you think about having a gay best friend? Or if your partner were to have/has a gay best friend how would/do you feel?
  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Dec 10, 2009 12:40 AM GMT
    One of my best friends is gay. And there are absolutely no problems when it comes to attractions, crushes, etc. None.

    It's never even crossed my mind, nor has it crossed my friend's, either.
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    Dec 10, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    I've had many gay friend, I have many gay friends and I've got several gay best friends. There has never been any kind of problem whatsoever.
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    Dec 10, 2009 12:45 AM GMT
    Well I suppose first you have to remove from this equation your partner or BF, who for me has always also been my best friend above all others. But my best non-romantic friends have all been gay since 1995, and I've never gotten a crush on any of them, even when I was single & dating.

    I suppose it helps if your gay best friend is in a stable monogamous relationship, as most of mine have been. But I really don't see how this issue should limit your choice of a friend. And besides, if both of you are unattached, what would be wrong with falling in love with each other?
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    Dec 10, 2009 12:46 AM GMT
    hmm, well, it depends on if there is sexual attraction or not, if there isn't then it can seem to work..

    I don't care who a partner has as friends, they aren't for me to judge, they are his friends after all
  • SolidRanger

    Posts: 108

    Dec 10, 2009 12:50 AM GMT
    Mutty saidDoes it seem right to have a best friend whose gay when you yourself are gay?

    To me it seems like there is a risk of crushing on the guy, ruining your friendship and/or your current relationship. On the other hand I've been thinking about possibly becoming very good friends with a gay guy... it would be cool to have someone to talk to who can easily relate to your situations, and can give a helping hand in some of the gayer issues in life.

    What do you think about having a gay best friend? Or if your partner were to have/has a gay best friend how would/do you feel?


    I don't see why not. After all people tend to be friends with people they can relate too, makes sense you would be friends with a fellow gay.

    I really don't even have any gay friends, all my friends are straight guys
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 10, 2009 12:51 AM GMT
    One of my closest friends in the world is gay. On the other hand, there has never been the slightest sexual attraction between us. He's like a brother to me.

    My other two close friends are female, one gay, but neither are what one might describe as a fag hag, except when we're being silly.

    My broader circle of friends has plenty of gay men in it... though as I get older, there are more straight guys joining.

    I even have two gay friends with whom I tried to make that transition from friend to more than friend but found that it wasn't right and was able to backtrack before what we had was lost. Perhaps I've just been lucky that such a thing was possible; I understand that some people can't go backwards once the bridge has been crossed.
  • SolidRanger

    Posts: 108

    Dec 10, 2009 12:57 AM GMT
    Kind of surprised by the question and the answers here. Do you guys mostly have straight friends?
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Dec 10, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    My best friend is a chick. Her and I have been friends for 16 years now. Give or take a couple.....but YES.

    I do have a GAY best friend. I also have some very GOOD gay friends. I have some very good straight friends. My straight boys ask me how to treat their girls. HELL....My minister brother asks me where to take his Fiance for that matter.


    Its all in the eye of the beer-holder I guess.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 10, 2009 2:20 AM GMT
    I'm pretty flexible honestly. I've had close friends who are straight guys, girls and gay men. It really isn't a problem, so long as you are comfortable with whoever it is, based on mutual respect and caring.
  • DJZ77

    Posts: 381

    Dec 10, 2009 6:24 AM GMT
    I say yes, it's possible. One of my best friend's, Someone I've known since before I hit puberty happens to be gay... 23 years now. As Drypin said, being that he's like a brother to me and I feel no attraction to him. However, I know what you're talking about regarding the possible attraction. This is when you have to be completely honest with yourself and think about what you really want from your potential friend? Do you want more than just friendship?? Definitely think about this beforehand, I learned the hard way, I fell for a guy who was a good friend. I wanted more, he didn't! Needless to say, we went our separate ways soon after. That's now why when I meet guys, I let them know right then and there whether or not I want a friendship or a relationship. Luckily, I had my GAY BEST FRIEND, who knew exactly what I was going through, there for me to cheer me up, get me drunk and on my way to recovery from a broken heart! icon_biggrin.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Dec 10, 2009 6:33 AM GMT
    ... I would have to disagree. You can have gay best friends.
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    Dec 10, 2009 7:24 AM GMT
    jrs1 said... I would have to disagree. You can have gay best friends.


    HAY TRANNY!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 10, 2009 11:26 AM GMT
    It's possible .... sure

    But there is the possibility of it crashing and burning if one of you gets
    the idea that there is more than that somewhere along the line
    I had a friendship breakup recently just for that reason icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 10, 2009 2:09 PM GMT
    Because you don;t have to worry about the possibility of you crushing on a straight best friend either icon_rolleyes.gif