Foreign boyfriend

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2009 8:30 PM GMT
    Have you ever had a foreign boyfriend? Or have you ever dated someone who wasn't from your native country? I'm just curious. Does it make a relationship more interesting or maybe there are some cultural differences which you are finding hard to deal with? Language barrier maybe?

    I'm Polish and I live in the UK btw (and I lived in the USA as well). I think I never had a problem with this. But when I see my friends struggling with "international" relationships sometimes I think it's really difficult.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 10, 2009 8:43 PM GMT
    I am American and I dated an Estonian.

    It was one of the best experiences relationship wise I ever had. For some reason European men are so smoother with sex and being romantic and making me feel important.

    The issue we had was communication. We never seemed to completely understand each other. We are no longer together sadly, but still when we do have a chance to talk, we end up bringing up the past and it seems we still don't completely understand each other.

    Other than that, which there needs to be a crap ton more talking, we had something real special.

    Miss you Hanno.
    I Love you.

    : )

    p.s. I would like to note that at some point he did come back to the US. So for three months he was in Estonia then came back to the US and we were together for another three months.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:00 PM GMT
    I dated a German man for 5 months. He was a wonderful man and we were very sexually compatible, but socially we just didn't mesh well. I come from a Mexican-American family where we communicate everything and are constantly processing issues and events in very conversational ways. He was super reserved and not very talkative... he loves me because I embody many of the qualities that he is not, and I love him for much the same reason.
    But the differences between us didn't have an area that overlapped where most couples find comfort and connection.... sex just wasn't enough of a connection.

    Two of my best friends one Greek the other from San Diego met, didn't speak the same language but had enough in common to find them married 9 years later with two kids and living in Alaska.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    Everyone I've dated has been foreign, I've never dated someone from my own country. I dated an amazing guy from Dubai, who I guess was the most foreign. There was a bit of a language barrier but overall we got along swimmingly.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:08 PM GMT
    i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, hes from reunion island in the indian ocean and now in the UK, there are certainly some cultural differences but nothing major but love the differences. i think the hardest thing is differences in personality types between cultures, for example he is used to saying exactly what he thinks, whereas in the UK were used to hiding that and not saying what we mean...also when i went back with him to his island the cultural differences were even bigger than i had expected, plus the language barrier his parents speak french and creole, so it was hard to communicate and bond with his family....but overall i think dating a foreign guy is much more exciting and rewarding
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    yeah it's harder... there are many cultural diferences... but hey If love conquers all love conquers all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    I've had several " foreign boyfriends." I seem to get on better with
    them than American guys. I don't know why ? Maybe it's because
    I'm intrigued by our differences ? Or perhaps we both share that
    same feeling of "otherness ? " Them being in another culture and me
    not fitting neatly into a box of what it is to be American, deeper still
    a Black American. My current BF is Israeli. While we share a lot
    of the same interests, there are somethings about me both as
    an American and as a Black American that he will never
    understand. But it goes both ways. There are certain things,
    cultural nuances if you will, that I don't understand about him.
    Luckily communication isn't an issue between us. So while we may
    not be able to wholly understand these differences, we can
    speak about them honestly and perhaps learn something
    about each other and ourselves in the process. It's this
    honest exchange that I find exciting about dating men from
    other parts of the world.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:19 PM GMT
    I have met many people from all over the world and have friends too. Love the way various cultures actually mesh in states. But so far I have been single, so can't say if there is difference. In a way I just started meeting gay guys for less than 2 years and still haven't met the man of my dreams.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:34 PM GMT
    im foreign to everybody icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:36 PM GMT
    CanadianSunim foreign to everybody



    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2009 9:44 PM GMT
    I have done. I have been involved with:

    a guy from Milan- Italy -4 years
    a guy from Berlin – Germany -3 years
    a guy from Adelaide – Australia - 2 years

    Absences certainly make the heart grow fonder, but you have to work at it. The sex you will find can be incredible. There were many times that all we did ... spend time indoors doing the horizontal tango in the shower, on the floor in bed …

    The sometimes difficult thing was the absence of spontaneity – because you are apart.

    You do find you treasure the times you are together more and lots of the small stuff don’t really become issues.

    The only time I had a problem with culture was with the Aussie – strangely enough.

    And partings- those can be hard.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 10, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    I dated two American guys back in college. One of them is my live in lover for about two years. The other fellow was my bf for about 7 years. I dont think I will get into a relationship with any foreign fellow again. Since we are gay men, and most country in the world (especially my own) unfairly prohibited gay marriage. I see no point in pursuing a futureless relationship.

    Just like my two American bf, I have to leave them behind when it time for me to get home. However, if we are talking about friendship, sexual partner, fuck buddy...no problem with me.
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Dec 10, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    yeah my current bf is scottish-israeli im hispanic-dominican, so it's quite interesting...he's a ginger so i find that hot...
    sometimes cultural differences do show, but it's great to have someone that sees things from a different perspective...communication is good
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 10, 2009 11:32 PM GMT
    Yes. Yes. The former (as I mention in a different topic). Language was a challenge at first.

    I'm American, he's German. He's one of the most remarkable communicators I've ever had the honor of knowing. His integrity is unquestionable. He is tender, romantic, appreciative, spiritual, introverted, introspective, caring, protective like a lion, a bit of a worry-wart, and my closest friend in this world in addition to being my civil union partner. He has his faults, too, but I wouldn't trade him for anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2009 11:49 PM GMT
    Doesn't do anything special for my current relationship. Except the fact that if we see his family we are going to different parts of Europe. My current boyfriend is european.
  • stevarino7

    Posts: 149

    Dec 10, 2009 11:57 PM GMT
    My year in Spain was a great experience, but when it came to guys it could only get to a certain level before communication became a big issue. Fun while it lasted though.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Dec 11, 2009 12:02 AM GMT

    being black, educated, and gay in america makes me foreign ... or invisible. haha, your pick.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 1:34 AM GMT
    I am the foreign guy. My bf is American and we live in the US. The differences between us made the relationship more interesting for both of us. Learning the languages, experiencing Jewish or Christian holidays with his or my family together, going on vacations in the US or Europe. I love how open and extroverted he is and he tolerates my moods and silencesicon_biggrin.gif and we still make each other laugh a lot.
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    Dec 11, 2009 6:20 AM GMT
    Kinda... I dated a French guy whom I met at a business meeting. It was funny because at the meeting he was acting all cocky and after the others went out, he asked me out. He went back to France 2 weeks after that and wanted to do a long distance relationship, but I decided it can't work, so we ended it icon_smile.gif

    I've been out on dates with many guys from around the world whom I'd met online and they came to Bulgaria. I love meeting foreigners... it's always interesting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 6:36 AM GMT
    jrs1 said
    being black, educated, and gay in america makes me foreign ... or invisible. haha, your pick.


    @jrs1: I see you, baby! :p

    To the point, all of my proper, romantic relationships have been with 'foreigners'. (Setting aside flings, one-night stands, other sexual contact, etc.)

    Yes, it makes things interesting. And yes, you have to learn to be aware of, tolerate, and ideally accept those cultural differences you don't understand or like right away. I think your ability to do that will drive how successful you want the relationship to be. I've personally found it to be edifying.

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    Dec 11, 2009 7:06 AM GMT
    Both my bf and I are foreign to the Statesicon_smile.gif
    I guess regardless of who I would date here he would be foreign to meicon_smile.gif
    Communication is the key and relationship with foreigners can put you into a more self-aware, humble mode with not-so-American mannerism.(no offense guys)
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Dec 11, 2009 7:11 AM GMT
    My b/f is Turkish but l live in Turkey but there is still a bit of a distance between us but we talk every day twice and msn helps us keep the relationship going! Yes it can get difficult at times due to culture but LOVE conquers all and that l believe in always. l am a Brit'.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 7:32 AM GMT
    My last boyfriend was English and we were together for three years. I stayed in London for him, he moved the the US for me and though we didn't work out as partners, he's still one of my best friends and I'll always love him.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:17 PM GMT
    I've always been the foreign boyfriend, and since I've travelled so much, I probably always will be.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Dec 11, 2009 2:32 PM GMT
    I do find foreign men intriguing and the cultural differences are fun and challenging if you can work at them. I do have a record of foreign men jeje.

    Lost my virginity in Rome to an Italian while on vacation.

    First real bf of 3 years is Russian

    Then throw in a Turk, Spainard, and a few Brasilians.

    I do however love my country men and will settle down with an Argentine man, just can´t get enough of them icon_smile.gif!