you're hot, have good personality etc etc etc, why are you still single?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 7:59 AM GMT
    don't you hate that question? at first it was a choice for yrs, now im really out of any suitable contenders it sucks! what would you say? icon_smile.gif
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 11, 2009 10:51 AM GMT
    I would say, "It's sweet of you to notice, but we're a rare breed. If you've spotted someone else who matches those qualities, would you tag him for me. At the very least, get his number."
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 11, 2009 11:41 AM GMT
    A backhanded compliment like that deserves a likewise response

    LIKE .....

    I know, I'm thinking it's guys like you who are really hot but have a lot of back hair


    OR ..... guys who go to the gym all the time and have nothing to show for it

    Bless their little hearts icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 11:46 AM GMT
    cause, they all freak out when they see my knife and restraints collection.. they seem to think I'm going to use'em on'em straight away, try to explain ya know, that all the good stuff comes later.. but they don't seem to listen after seeing it.
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    Dec 11, 2009 11:51 AM GMT
    I'm a supergenius, have an awesome personality, am funny as shit with sprinkles and a cocktail umbrella and two giggling monkeys playing with it. Who the heck wouldn't like me? I'd make the perfect...














    ...friend.

    Fuck my life.

    Does that answer the question?

    P.S. I'm a bundle of sunshine too, obviously.

    awesomesunrise1.jpg



  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Dec 11, 2009 12:57 PM GMT

    Seda-LOVE it. such a marked point.
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    Dec 11, 2009 1:02 PM GMT
    jrs1 said
    Seda-LOVE it. such a marked point.


    agreed.

    and yes... worst... question... ever.

    and if it's someone who is in a relationship asking you this, you could always say, "you're none of those things, why are you IN a relationship?"
  • Glorfindel

    Posts: 277

    Dec 11, 2009 1:05 PM GMT
    I get that way too much. From family and even friends. I make SUCH a great friend....

    My mom is the worst (though I know she means well) because she asks if I'm seeing anyone... when might the wedding be... when she can expect grandkids... oh mom icon_biggrin.gif

  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Dec 11, 2009 1:11 PM GMT
    That's the same question I'll ask myself whenever someone brings it up, but I can never come up with a satisfactory answer, or even any semblance of an answer, which leads me to believe I'm none of the above. Then why are people telling me that? Arghh, the logic, it hurts...
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    Dec 11, 2009 1:13 PM GMT
    only out of shape, ugly stupid people can find a BF. HavenĀ“t you heard?

    (echos Meoh and Seddy... )
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 11, 2009 2:00 PM GMT
    I just tell them I do have one......
    You didn't think I did?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:13 PM GMT
    I'm stumped and don't have an answer to that question. I enjoy dating and like being single, but I've known true love and that's better.

    My list of dealbreakers is less than 5. I open to surprises but I also trust my instincts. That spark, that curiosity has to be there early on so that I feel eager to explore more. If it isn't, no amount of rationalization or discussion can replace it. I know what i like when I see it and sadly, there have been no sparks in the last 5 years.icon_cry.gif

    Substance abusers, insane control freaks, unhealthy diet/lifestyle, and guys who get infatuated too easily doesn't exactly help either.

    I don't think being single is a failure at being able to fall in love. There are too many variables. And anyway there are tons of others things in life to love.





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:34 PM GMT
    i feel guilty for even having clicked on this thread... icon_redface.gif
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Dec 11, 2009 2:34 PM GMT
    CanadianSun saiddon't you hate that question? at first it was a choice for yrs, now im really out of any suitable contenders it sucks! what would you say? icon_smile.gif



    I would say that personally if you had someone and lost them, partially it's because of you. If you've never been with someone before longer than 6 months you again partially. If you constantly go threw guys like you would with TP *toilet paper* then you love the hunt and date/sex combo, so again partially you.

    So basically I'd say it is you, the single guys who complain about this issue, you can give whatever excuse you would like but when it comes down to it, it's you. You can't say because of where I live. Cause I'll just say I moved 4500 KM to be with a guy, so it can't be that. You can't say well he doesn't go to the gym, cause I got my guy to go to the gym and we go together now. You can't say cause I'm just not ready yet, cause if you complained about the above question you are ready for that "other" half of you, sorta. I could continue but I'll wait for a few more responses.

    Oh and happy holidays to all you guys out there icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:37 PM GMT

    Open a giant detailed jigsaw puzzle (one of those complicated ones like leaves against sky and water etc) and dump all the pieces out on a table. Look at all the real purty ones. Now pick all of those ones out and put them in a separate pile.

    .....now, try to make them fit and interlock with each other. Some will; most won't.

    Not the greatest of analogies but the best I can do right now.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:45 PM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    jrs1 said
    Seda-LOVE it. such a marked point.


    agreed.

    and yes... worst... question... ever.

    and if it's someone who is in a relationship asking you this, you could always say, "you're none of those things, why are you IN a relationship?"


    LOL, oh my god, you can be snarky. Love it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:46 PM GMT
    Most guys who are single are because they want something they can't get...or have very high requirements... when they do find someone nice they keep feeling as if they deserve someone better... and it only takes time, age & maturity to realize you can't have everything you want in a relationship... making it work is all about understanding and compromise.. just being cute, hot and young won't get you anywhere in life.. so get over it and get real.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:46 PM GMT
    "because i'm a cunt ? "
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    CanadianSun saiddon't you hate that question? at first it was a choice for yrs, now im really out of any suitable contenders it sucks! what would you say? icon_smile.gif


    distance icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 3:00 PM GMT
    czarodziej saidi feel guilty for even having clicked on this thread... icon_redface.gif


    dont feel guilty! but yes i tend to move a lot of people into the friendship zone as well haha its kinda annoying now i mean after so many years it becomes natural to do so. let's see who breaks my cycle =]
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    Dec 11, 2009 3:01 PM GMT
    jake_bh12 said
    CanadianSun saiddon't you hate that question? at first it was a choice for yrs, now im really out of any suitable contenders it sucks! what would you say? icon_smile.gif


    distance icon_razz.gif


    HAHA amen
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Dec 11, 2009 3:27 PM GMT
    The OPs question is as common as dirt. I think it is a question to learn if your still actually single, or if you want to be single. I've gotten this question usually right before the second question:


    "I've got this friend that you would be perfect for...."



    Aurgh! Well at least now there is the iPhone and facebook where they can show you the picture of this "friend" while your standing around at a high school reunion.

    I still don't mind any of this, they mean well, poor dears.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2009 3:29 PM GMT
    Whenever someone asks me something like, "Why is a guy like you single?," I always reply the same way: "Is there any reason why I shouldn't be single?" It usually shuts them up.
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Dec 11, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    As a psychologist, I could write a few books on this one. Not having an answer is pretty common. Inuman has a point, but sounds a little bit blaming, making assumptions without evidence of why an individual doesn't have a partner, that there is something bad about that individual. I am 52, very articulate, kind, never been violent with a partner, steadily employed, etc. I have had partners for two years or less. Now you can look for reasons why I as an individual have problems in becoming partnered or you can look at culture wide patterns of attachment in heterosexuals and gay men. 90% of the general population marries at some point. In 2007, there were 2,205,000 marriages. How many gay marriages were there? My point is that our culture supports heterosexual unions and actively discourages gay unions. In that context, the better question is to those who are coupled: how the hell do you manage to stay together in this culture? Most of us have very little support for our relationships. My nephew, a very fine man, at 27, has been married to a very fine young woman for four years. He and his wife just had twins. He and his wife have much needed support from two extended families. Financial support, logistical support, emotional support to the extent possible in these families. Most of us are not part of the breeding system and are, at best, peripheral to our families.

    In addition to the lack of general support from families of origin, either indifference, active sabotage, or conditional support, gay culture supplies very little support for partners. Historically, couples were very hidden due to active homophobia (consider the 20th century) and public campaigns to ensure that homosexuals were discharged from jobs. For most of the 20th century, gay culture was about survival and existed only as entertainment for brief moments. There have been very few institutions which support gay people within or outside the gay community in having partners. Predominately gay churches have been the institution which has supported gay unions and there are very few such chuches and they are still not very robust.

    Now, our cultural and historical context explains, in part, why the rate of unions is much lower among gay men as compared to heterosexual men, but why do certain gay individuals pair up and others don't. I think then you can look at attachment patterns and styles amongst gay people as a whole and as individuals. Let's just say that growing up isolated in our heterosexual families of origin (for the vast majority of us) has not prepared us in any way to couple with another man. I could go into great detail about this, but that could end up being another book.

    I look at myself and my personal history and know that I was lucky to survive growing up in the family I did. My brother, who was heterosexual, did not survive.
    My short answer to that question is, "You know, I ask that question myself. Do you have any ideas?"

  • toybrian

    Posts: 395

    Dec 11, 2009 3:33 PM GMT
    Canadiian, you are still young and a lot of guys may come into your life and hope each one teaches you something on your way to Mr. right...