Being robbed

  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 11, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    A few weeks ago I found myself in a pretty stupid situation. I was on my way to visit some friends. It was already dark and not alot of people out. Then 2 guys came up to me and tried taking my Backpack. It where just 2 idiots, so I thought I could take them on and fought back. The first round went well, they tried running away with just my backpack. You can call me an idiot if you want, but I wouldnt let them get away so easily. So I followed them and tried to knock them out one after the other. The rest is more or less still lost. I got a stone to the head and then punched to the limit. I went to my friends home who then tried to contact my family, which wasnt that easy giving that I couldnt remember any number but one, and that is still a mistery to me why I could just think of that one.

    In the end I had a broken nose, some injuries and couldnt show my face for a while. I would do it again. Not because how I ended up, its because I refuse to get victimized by some idiot who thinks he needs his next heroinshot.

    Only problem I dont know how to deal with are the flashbacks, every time I try to go to sleep I start thinking about that night and end up having a nightmare or simply cant sleep for hours.

    I am pretty sure something similar may have happened to some guys on this site, so maybe you have some advice.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Dec 11, 2009 10:11 PM GMT
    Yeah, i had nightmares too after being carjacked by two guys in of all places newak NJ, i went to this party in the hood because i didnt want to appear to be too good to hang with some new friends who didnt live in manhattan....Lucky for me the police caught the two and we went to trail and they were giving 15yrs each..
    The nightmares became so horrific for me that i couldnt sleep without waking up screaming..
    Then and there i promised myself that no/one would ever do that to me again so i took matters into my own hands...One night while walking home late from work i was followed and yes the perp got violent, which led me to use my protector....and guess what ,,,,The nightmares stopped...... Just call me Dirty Harry...........
    I'm not saying you need to go dirty harry but i am saying you need somone to talk too....
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    Dec 11, 2009 10:45 PM GMT

    Sorry to hear, but remember a genuine tough guy can not only give a good arse whomping, but take one too. From the sound of it, you're the real deal.

    ..........................................

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    Dec 11, 2009 11:04 PM GMT
    I had a very similar situation happen about 4 years ago when I was on my way home from the gym but it was more of a gay bashing incident than a robbery. I know how to fight and fought back too and eventually chased them off but not without getting roughed up.
    I would suggest talking to someone about the experience. I was actually afraid of hurting the douche bags because I knew I could... which is so f'ed up considering they wanted to beat me senseless. I didn't tell anyone (not even my partner of 5 years at the time) and none of the injuries were to my face so they were easy to hide. I was going to couples & individual counseling at the time so I was able to process the event without any fanfare.

    I had nightmares for a while, I also found myself in a situation with a threatening group of guys walking my dogs on the beach a few months ago. It triggered the amped up fear and anger from the initial attack and it was all I could do to hold my focus. Please find someone to talk to, violence like that affects us all. The only thing worse than being a victim to someone elses anger is being victimized by the event itself and not being able to get out from under it.

    If you want to talk about it shoot me an email... But whatever you do, realize you need to take care of your emotional state as defiantly and aggressively as you did your physical well being but you do that with tenderness and care.
    You did nothing wrong... take care of yourself.
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    Dec 11, 2009 11:07 PM GMT
    Do you actually know how to fight? and I don't mean you had fights in school either, I mean actually know how to fight, to throw a punch, to block one, how to properly protect your body, how to use an opening, all that good stuff..

    If you don't, go do a self defense course and not one of those little girly ones where you get to "beat up the big bad padded guy" there are courses out there that will teach you how to handle a fight properly and more importantly to protect your self as well as fight back.

    I don't think your an idiot, I'd have done the same...
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    Dec 11, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    I have had two situations. Both back in the 80s.

    First time, I was coming out of the Eagle in DC with a friend. I let him in the passenger side of the car and went around to get in the driver's side. I opened the door and started to get in, when someone tried to grab me from behind. I turned and sat on the seat with my feet still out and down on the street. There were two guys behind me. Then the barrel of a magnum came in the door right at my face. I grabbed the barrel and turned it out of my face and to the other accomplice, while saying "Dont you point that thing at me!" Then I kicked as hard as I could. Meanwhile, my friend got out of the car and came around and attacked them from behind. They hit him in the face and left. My friend and I went home, but he was too shaken up to have sex. Ruined a perfectly good lay.

    The second time, I had gone to the Lost and Found in DC on a Sunday afternoon/evening with a friend. But I didnt have to be to work in the morning so I stayed out late and my friend went home. When I finally did leave, the neighborhood was deserted. I walked to my car and a guy came running up from behind me. I had just gotten to the driver's side of the car and turned with my back to the car. He pulled a gun. I grabbed it out of his hand ...and if I could have gotten it to fire, there would have a one dead motherfucker right there and then. Then a second guy came to help him. As I fought with them, they tore my back pocket off. I remenber wondering why they were doing that. ...Hello! they were robbing you, jackass. Duh! So I was doing pretty good hitting at these guys with the butt of the gun. Then a third one joined in and I couldnt handle 3. They knocked me to the ground and I fell on the gun to keep it away from them. So they kicked me in the face and rolled me over to get the gun and left. I went back to the bar, demanded a glass of water, took a look at my bleeding face in the mirror. The bar called the police. The policeman said I should go to the emergency cuz he thought my nose was broken. So I drove myself to the nearest hospital I knew (I used to work in that emergency). They put me on the stretcher nearest the nurse's station, so I could use the phone. I called my friend at 2 AM and told him where I was and that I was dying and wanted to say "good-bye."
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    Dec 12, 2009 12:02 AM GMT
    I was shot through the arm and chest by the guy who robbed our house when I lived at home (age 17). I had nightmares and was very afraid of being in a lighted room with darkness outside at night - if the draperies were open. I had a problem with this - so I'd cross the room in darkness and close draperies before turning on lights. I was so afraid of who might be out there in the dark - for years. I felt like a sitting duck. In talking about it with friends and with time, I got past it. I'm lucky to be here - - and think positive thoughts all the time.
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    Dec 12, 2009 12:03 AM GMT
    I really hope for your sake you had something important in that backpack....I'd probably just throw it at them and say you really want last months muscle and fitness, half of bottle of evian and a folder of chemistry notes be my guest.

    Happened to me once just gave one word answers to what ever they yelled at me, ignored kept walking, got punched just walked faster they got the message and just left then one came back on a bike i just ducked and side kicked his bike and he went straight off it and dragged his face 2 ft along the ground.... it was such a mess
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    Dec 12, 2009 12:11 AM GMT
    I'd go talk with a professional just in case what you're experiencing is post traumatic stress disorder related. That's not a fun thing to deal with on your own. Aside from that, you could try doing some yoga, meditation or breathing work before bed. In other words, do whatever relaxes you and keeps your brain from going there.
  • ManinSTL

    Posts: 38

    Dec 12, 2009 12:22 AM GMT
    So in my unprofessional opinion, but having a degree in psychology, i would say you are suffering from Post Traumatic stress. For what occured, very common and most likely will dimish. Find a positive way to regain your "control" of what occured. Whatever that may be, self defense classes, finding the guys and pummeling them etc..

    But, if it begins to hinder your life, your wellbeing, show up in other events, and/or it continues for awhile and does not diminish you should go speak with someone, a professional.

    This kind of thing is very common, any traumatic event tends to show itself again in this fashion. Where it is unhealthy is whether you can move forward or it grabs ahold of you.

    Good luck!
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    Dec 12, 2009 12:29 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear about your experience.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    Concealed Carry?

    The police think it will deter criminals.

    http://www.pjstar.com/news/x1730895291/Police-say-concealed-carry-law-would-deter-criminals

    I'm not overly familiar with the laws in other states, only IL.

    Oops, sorry for derailing the thread.
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    Dec 12, 2009 1:09 AM GMT
    What was in your backpack?
    Never scream out "rape!"- but always "FIRE!"
    I saw that on Tyra. I was bored. Really really bored.
  • SolidRanger

    Posts: 108

    Dec 12, 2009 1:15 AM GMT
    jmals23 saidSorry to hear about your experience.

    ---------------------------------------------------------

    Concealed Carry?

    The police think it will deter criminals.

    http://www.pjstar.com/news/x1730895291/Police-say-concealed-carry-law-would-deter-criminals

    I'm not overly familiar with the laws in other states, only IL.

    Oops, sorry for derailing the thread.


    This is what I do. I'm gonna be a cop after I graduate college anyway, so I figured I'd have to get carry a gun offduty anyway, I might as well get used to it. So I gow my CWP, and I carry as much as possible. Luckily I've never actually had to draw, but I've been in a couple of close calls.

    Honestly, if I was in a situation like some of the other guys here have been in, I would have drawn and there'd be a dead robber/gay basher laying in the street.

    The laws are kind of sketchy in some areas but I still feel that the saying is right: Better to be judged by 12, than carried by 6
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 12, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI was shot through the arm and chest by the guy who robbed our house when I lived at home (age 17). I had nightmares and was very afraid of being in a lighted room with darkness outside at night - if the draperies were open. I had a problem with this - so I'd cross the room in darkness and close draperies before turning on lights. I was so afraid of who might be out there in the dark - for years. I felt like a sitting duck. In talking about it with friends and with time, I got past it. I'm lucky to be here - - and think positive thoughts all the time.


    JockBod, your story is so eerily familiar with an event that happened to a friend of mine. He was still living with his parents when he heard his bedroom door open at about 4 AM in the morning. He could see the barrel to a gun coming thru the door. He jumped out of bed to wrestle with the guy and was shot thru the arm and chest. He ran across the street to wake a neighbor and passed out. He is doing ok now, but it was very difficult for him and his family!!
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 12, 2009 1:45 AM GMT
    maximumrisk saidA few weeks ago I found myself in a pretty stupid situation. I was on my way to visit some friends. It was already dark and not alot of people out. Then 2 guys came up to me and tried taking my Backpack. It where just 2 idiots, so I thought I could take them on and fought back. The first round went well, they tried running away with just my backpack. You can call me an idiot if you want, but I wouldnt let them get away so easily. So I followed them and tried to knock them out one after the other. The rest is more or less still lost. I got a stone to the head and then punched to the limit. I went to my friends home who then tried to contact my family, which wasnt that easy giving that I couldnt remember any number but one, and that is still a mistery to me why I could just think of that one.

    In the end I had a broken nose, some injuries and couldnt show my face for a while. I would do it again. Not because how I ended up, its because I refuse to get victimized by some idiot who thinks he needs his next heroinshot.

    Only problem I dont know how to deal with are the flashbacks, every time I try to go to sleep I start thinking about that night and end up having a nightmare or simply cant sleep for hours.

    I am pretty sure something similar may have happened to some guys on this site, so maybe you have some advice.


    I hope you are doing better Maximumrisk!!
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 12, 2009 3:12 AM GMT
    I would just give it to them. It just not worth the risk. They could have a gun, knife, fellow accomplish and who know what. I was robbed by 2 Filipino teenager in Manila, once. They are about 14 years old and I am sure I can handle it. But this is their place and their neighbouhood. There are two of them vs me alone. It not worth, risking my life over 100 USD. I probably a chicken for being afraid, but I also being smart. 100 USD can easily be replace , my life is not.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2009 3:21 AM GMT
    I was twice robbed on the street years ago in Brooklyn and last year in the gym. icon_evil.gif
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    Dec 12, 2009 5:53 AM GMT

    Very sorry this happened to you. I don't think you're an idiot at all for putting up a fight. It was a situation you could have walked away from, but you chose to stand and fight and I don't hear you regretting your decision. It takes real character to make a stand, come out on the losing end of the battle and not make excuses etc or hide under a rock.

    I'm concerned from your description of sleep disturbance and vivid nightmares, etc. that you may be suffering from the early stages of post-traumatic stress disorder. I would urge you to find a therapist with experience in working with people with PTSD for an assessment and possible treatment. Usually PTSD responds well to early treatment by an experienced therapist.

    If this experience has led you to consider self defense training, you may want to look into Krav Maga. It is a non-sport self defense system developed by the Israeli Defense Force. It's a great work out and a great confidence builder. (I have an unscientific belief that thugs pick up body language cues from would be victims and tend to avoid people who know they can defend themselves.)

    Best of luck.
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    Dec 12, 2009 10:25 AM GMT
    flieslikeabeagle said
    (I have an unscientific belief that thugs pick up body language cues from would be victims and tend to avoid people who know they can defend themselves.)



    I agree with this. Not only thugs, but the occasional vicious co-worker, or rotten brother/sister who wants to give someone grief. (My own unscientific belief is that being nice to these people to try to get them to stop their ugly behavior does NOT work - - - and only seems to make them worse.) I digress a bit here......sorry.......but I'm sick of being treated like hell by a couple of people.
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    Dec 12, 2009 10:50 AM GMT
    Me- Hey can you show me how your taser works?
    Friend- umm are you sure?because it gets pretty loud...
    Me- yes yes yes! I've never seen one in person

    (turns on taser and pushes the button)

    ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

    Me-ohhhh I'm sooo saving up for one of those!!!.

    I know how to fight,but I'm in nooo mood to Fight,get raped or jumped by a guy that is going to be 10X's larger than me. Speacially since I'm planning on moving to a bigger city I rather ZAP a bitch and run.


    meehh I don't care if it's Illegal or not,but I like living my life.

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    Dec 12, 2009 11:52 AM GMT
    The situation in South Africa is pretty bad with crime being a national pastime.

    We have 50 people being killed per day in crime related deaths.

    We have the highest crime rate outside of war zones.

    I agree with the other members that suggest PTSD therapy. You need to work through your emotions with a professional.

    The therapy, in turn, will empower you. Having the flashbacks means you are still in the 'moment' and still a victim. The muggers still have power over you, even though they aren't there and have moved on themselves.

    You need to transition from victim to triumphant survivor. Therein lies your empowerment.

    Fighting back can be empowering but it's not always the best course of action.

    All the Kung Fu moves in the world won't stop a bullet.

    If you do take self-defense classes make sure it's one that also teaches how not to come across as a soft target for muggers. This is an effective form of prevention.

    You also need to develop your sense of fight or flight. It'll help you to sensibly summarize a situation and act accordingly.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 12, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    Never had any experiences like that. While I think its awesome you had the guts to fight back, just remember what could have happened if they had a gun or knife. I would rather have the satisfaction of seeing them prosecuted (which again probably isn't very likely given the darkness and the priority in crimes like this one).

    Sorry you had something like that happen. I hope you can move on without too much duress.
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    Dec 12, 2009 3:12 PM GMT
    Dude that suxs and sry to hear. I too, was robbed yrs ago and still have Erie flashbacks. I was in college, George Washington U in Washington DC. Left my friends at the local bar to walk home and 3 men who seemed to appear out of the shadows cornered me by knife and demanded my wallet watch and chain. I was in complete shock, I remember feeling the knife against my side and me grabbing his hand to stop it frm penetrating. He promised not to stab me if I cooperated but I refused to release my hand frm his. The other two guys fondled around till they got what they wanted. during all of this, the conversation between the three guys was insane as they discussed what kind of money they'd get for my watch and chain. This was all within 100 feet of my doorman apartment building.
  • dreamer121

    Posts: 265

    Dec 12, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    Mine wasn't as traumatic, just more so having a gun pointed at ya kinda thing. Still shakes ya up...

    I don't know if it just happened to you, but when it did for me, it just took time. I also just tried to keep busy during those times and basically not let myself think about it. So being really busy and a full plate left me with other stresses in life and then I wouldn't think about it at bedtime, i'd be too concerned with whatever else.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Dec 13, 2009 2:03 AM GMT
    First of all, thank you for the suggestions. I will look for a therapist in my area, though it already feels good to know that what I did wasnt that stupid.

    Nothing in the Backpack would be worth my life, but as said I simply refuse to get victimized like that.

    One of the two I was fighting with kept on yelling that the other is supposed to take out the gun. The expression on his face was just "WTF?". I have no idea if the other one was just to chicken to pull the gun or if they just tried to get me to stop. In the end this is always a possibilty so I certainly wasnt so naive thinking they had none.