When did you first know you were gay?

  • SolidRanger

    Posts: 108

    Dec 12, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    Just curious what your guys' answers are to these questions

    When did you first know you were gay?
    Was it difficult accepting it?
    If you're out of the closest, how did it go and how do people treat you now?
    Are you happy?
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    Dec 12, 2009 11:40 PM GMT
    although I like to think there is a time when I worked it out, I think I've just always knows I wasn't the same.

    It was incredibly easy to accept for me, at no point was there a grappling with being gay, I just was.

    My family was completely accepting... mother freaked out but she came around.. father didn't give a shit but he never has.

    95% of my friends where fine with it, the other 5% weren't friends.... (stories behind it, but don't have time to write it)

    Happy being me? yes... happy with life... no... but it's got nothing to do with being gay, it's about being me..
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 12, 2009 11:47 PM GMT
    I knew at an early age (elementary school) that I liked guys..but didn't know what to call it until I got older. My close friends know, my family knows, my co-workers and employees know....but there are still a few people in my life who do not know. When I came out to my family, my mom took it really well and to this day we enjoy conversations concerning the men in my life.....my dad didn't take it very well and physically beat me pretty badly.icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 12, 2009 11:48 PM GMT
    SolidRanger saidJust curious what your guys' answers are to these questions

    When did you first know you were gay?
    Was it difficult accepting it?
    If you're out of the closest, how did it go and how do people treat you now?
    Are you happy?

    In the order of your questions:
    - March 16, 1995, at age 46.
    - I was disoriented for about 2 hours, then totally accepted it. Took like a duck to water.
    - It generally went well, only a few bumps in the road. People treat me great, but then I live in a gay mecca.
    - Extremely happy, never been better.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Dec 13, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    I realized there was a name (gay) for the feelings I'd been having as long as I could remember when I was 11 or 12.

    I never had trouble accepting it because it was what I was all along, and I think I felt relieved that it was totally normal for a guy to get a boner while looking at the underwear section of the JCPenny catalog.

    People treat me great, and I've been telling people since I was 14.

    And I'm very happy.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 13, 2009 4:03 AM GMT
    I knew what gay was from the time I was probably 11 or 12, but I didn't think I was. I liked girls and had girlfriends starting probably around 13 or 14. I realized when I was around 18 or so I had feelings for a male friend, but it didn't really extend past him. As time when on, it did and I was basically all about men from about 21 on.
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    Dec 13, 2009 4:05 AM GMT
    Aha I thought it was just me who collected JCPenney Underwear Catalog from the Sunday Newspapers!

    Didn't know it at the time, but I was six years old when me and my friend would play with each other every day at recess. We would hide under the big monster truck tire and play with our, umm interesting parts together lol.
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    Dec 13, 2009 4:09 AM GMT
    I think I knew pretty young that something was a little different- I remember having a crush on my 6th grade teacher so I knew before then...

    I had a point where it was hard to accept. I went to a private catholic hs and tried to deny it to everyone up until my senior year when I finally, slowly, started to tell people. Everyone was great with it and I have never had a bad coming out experience and I am now at a point in my life where I love myself for who I am, and am not at all ashamed of who I am.

    I, again, had great coming out experiences. People treat me exactly like they did before. Nothing changed.

    And am I happy? Being gay has no effect on whether or not I'm happy. The way I run my life/treat people does that...
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    Dec 13, 2009 4:32 AM GMT
    I think i realized it when I was like 7 or 8 when my friends found a porn mag in an alley, and while they like the girls I was very much into the guy in the pics. I was thinking wow hes awesome and girl look pretty nasty. icon_razz.gif
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Dec 13, 2009 4:42 AM GMT
    SolidRanger saidJust curious what your guys' answers are to these questions

    When did you first know you were gay?
    Was it difficult accepting it?
    If you're out of the closest, how did it go and how do people treat you now?
    Are you happy?


    Wow.. what a loaded series of questions..

    Now that I think back I remember having a crush on a guy around age 8. At the time I didn't know it was a crush, it was more that I looked up to him and wanted to be just like him. However, I wouldn't call that the moment I first knew I was gay.

    When I was about 12 I had a little run in with a gay child molester. Don't misinterpret this. I in no way, shape, or form enjoyed any part of the incident but afterwards there was a sick feeling deep inside me knowing I had something in common with him.

    After the incident I hated gay people and what was worse I knew my parents did also. Naturally I was in deep denial but still on some level knew. Every time I thought I was "slipping" in that direction I would, uh never mind. Lets just say that I was in deep depression for many years. It took me a very long time to realize that just because I was gay didn't mean I was going to turn into a sick pervert that prey's on children.

    I came out in my freshman year of college and surprisingly enough had zero bad reactions. All of my friends and siblings were shocked to say the least but extremely supportive. My parents still don't know, but in time I will tell them. I still to this day have never been treated differently because of my sexuality and yes, I am very happy.

    I can't believe I wrote all that. Probably regret it later.
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    Dec 13, 2009 9:29 AM GMT
    It being innate, it's something I've known from about 6 or 7, and boy did I know trouble was to become of it too.
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    Dec 13, 2009 10:41 AM GMT
    About 13 I think? That's when I first had my first boy crush icon_smile.gif
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Dec 13, 2009 11:11 AM GMT
    When did you first know you were gay? aged 12 or before, always liked and fancied boys but didnt act on my feelings until the age of 23, when i had sex with a man for the first time.

    Was it difficult accepting it? it was difficult in the sense that my family is very very conservative and religious and i was concerned about the implications of my actions...took me 3 years to get the courage to come out -that and several therapy sessions and the fact i found a man i absolutely love made me realize it was time to tell mum- but once you accept and love yourself , and realize you're not bad and havent done anything wrong you feel so much happier.

    If you're out of the closest, how did it go and how do people treat you now? people i thought would be shocked and horrified were ok, they were like oh i had no idea, how good...my sister has been awesome and very supportive, my mum has been a bit more reluctant to accept it, my dad well thats more complicated.

    Are you happy? Couldnt be happier at all, im in love, in a committed relationship, and i feel like i want to tell everyone!! (which apparently i did when i got drunk at the Insurers of Glasgow Ball)
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Dec 13, 2009 12:46 PM GMT
    as 98% of the guys on this site I liked looking at male bodies. Muscle Fitness ect.
    I didn't know what it was until I discovered AOL and chat rooms. I still denied it until I was 20 years old. Oh no I like the theatre but I'm straight. I'm a tech. Well take one boy from the south up to NY and low and behold.. bingo FAG.
    Even earlier I liked and admired boys, legs mostly. Swimmers, the wrestlers, which i did wrestle, but gave it up for the school musical....hum... HEY SOMEONE HELP ME OUT HERE>>>>>
    So there you have it and now I'm out as out can be. Home, work, family, friends.
    I do miss some of the 'exploration'
    now it's all TOp, bttm, oral..blah blah blah.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Dec 13, 2009 2:14 PM GMT
    When did you first know you were gay?

    Funny story: I knew something was different about me when I was about 7 years old. My friend and I were wrestling in the back yard and for a moment he had me pinned to the ground. I tried use a hip thrust to get him off of me several times. Then it started to feel really good, it was a real different feeling. The he started to get up and I was like, wait hold on I wanna try something, then started doin it somewhere. He freaked out and ran away, thats when I realized I was stiff. lol.

    Was it difficult accepting it?

    I actually started masturbating shortly after that, had stupid fantasies of my friends in muscle suits, it was retarded, but hey I was only 7. So from there I knew I was attracted to guys but didn't really know what "gay" was. It wasn't until about 12yrs old that I accepted it.

    If you're out of the closest, how did it go and how do people treat you now?

    I didn't start creeping out of the closet until my Junior Year of High School. I came out to my ex girlfriend. She told my best friend and then there was a short fury of people finding out. I thought it was fun. So I kept coming out to "certain" people. Then I joined the military after high school. I was back in the closet for about 1.5yrs, then realized I didn't care what people thought of me, because I was a good worker, great person, and didn't let gay define my personality. So i came out in the military and to my parents, eventually finished serving my time with an honorable discharge.

    Are you happy?

    You know when those "wise" people always say to just learn to be happy with yourself? Well, its a very very very valid point. For a very long time I was so insecure and unhappy. Actually only recently have I started to truly be happy with myself. There was a lot of confidence building that was invloved. I never thought I could be this happy with myself withouth looking like a model. Yet, I am, and I'm happy for it. I am learning to be even happier with myself over time, just pushing myself to strive for challenges, goals, and ways to just better myself.
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    Dec 13, 2009 2:17 PM GMT
    When I look back upon it I have to say when I was like 5-6 (maybe younger?). I was old enough to read Superman comics...or look at the pictures. I remember throwing wood looking at Superman.

    My first sexual experience with another man was when I was 13
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    Dec 13, 2009 2:33 PM GMT

    I knew pretty early, like 9 or 10; but kept quiet about it. Even dated a girl in HS, but never had sex with her (told her no sex until marriage). When I finally came out (18 yrs old in college), my family was ok with it and that was all that mattered. Friends from HS came around and some said they knew. Since then, I have never looked back. I am open about my orientation and join the local GLBT organization to help others who are struggling or just need a friend.

    Happy with who I am and take each day as it comes.
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    Dec 13, 2009 2:56 PM GMT
    I believe it was around 14 or 15. I was going into a new high school and was on the swim team. After practice all the teammates would shower and some were just starting to turn from boyish to man and it was such a turn on to see them naked in the shower. One mate had such a monster wanker that he had to wear two speedos and everyone would comment in the showers like "Whoa, mate, keep that away from me". I had to concentrate really hard not to pop wood right there in the shower. That's when I knew that men turned me on more than the ladies. I didn't have my first experience until 19 when I knew for 100% sure. Came out at 25. It was easier then I thought. I wish I had come out sooner. A lot of wasted years feeling ashamed, guilty, and telling all sorts of lies to friends and family to hide it.
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    Dec 13, 2009 3:15 PM GMT
    I was 14. first day of high school. I saw my gym/basketball teacher with the tightest t-shirt on and muscles showing. i got SOOOOOOO hard! Needless to say the next year I DID have sex with him!

    Thats when I knew icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 13, 2009 3:17 PM GMT
    TucsonGradJock saidI believe it was around 14 or 15. I was going into a new high school and was on the swim team. After practice all the teammates would shower and some were just starting to turn from boyish to man and it was such a turn on to see them naked in the shower. One mate had such a monster wanker that he had to wear two speedos and everyone would comment in the showers like "Whoa, mate, keep that away from me". I had to concentrate really hard not to pop wood right there in the shower. That's when I knew that men turned me on more than the ladies. I didn't have my first experience until 19 when I knew for 100% sure. Came out at 25. It was easier then I thought. I wish I had come out sooner. A lot of wasted years feeling ashamed, guilty, and telling all sorts of lies to friends and family to hide it.


    Yeah join the club! Was on the swim team and remember I really liked a friends speedo. He was the first guy that wore the all spandex kind vs the standard issue school speedos at the time. He bought some new ones and gave me his old one. That should have given me more clues...
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    Dec 13, 2009 3:34 PM GMT
    When did you first know you were gay?

    Well, I don't think there wasn't a time that I wasn't aware of it. I always liked boys better, even when I was around 5ish and had a crush on Spiderman and my best friend Tony. But I didn't know what that meant until I was around 10 or so.

    Was it difficult accepting it?

    I fought it for a long time; where I grew up was very homophobic, and I spent all those years being told that who I was was disgusting. Spent my teens in catastrophic suicidal depression, joined the military to escape, and didn't start to deal with it until after I got out.

    If you're out of the closest, how did it go and how do people treat you now?

    My family reacted very positively and were fast to be supportive, espeically once they realized that the negative message out in society was fueling my self-destructiveness. Now, people don't really care, as it should be. I've been "out" since I was 22. People don't really believe it when the first find out though. Kinda funny. I'm not obvious, but that's in no way an "act." I simply am who I am. Took me a long time to be comfortable with that, and if someone does't like me, they have the option of walking away.

    Are you happy?

    Not always (lingering self-hatred), but generally yes.
  • mellowmuscle

    Posts: 150

    Dec 13, 2009 4:02 PM GMT
    tattoo jock, you'll have to share that story!

    as for me, I SHOULD have known when I was 12 because I was interested in any and everything that Marky Mark did! haha. But even when I was 10, I was having same-sex crushes and thought that was the same for every boy.
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    Dec 13, 2009 4:04 PM GMT
    I was in 5th grade when I think I realized it. I was on the wrestling team, and we were practicing with people from another school, and I remember telling my best friend that the boy I was practicing with looked just like Jonathan Taylor Thomas...
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Dec 13, 2009 5:29 PM GMT
    In high school I started having thoughts, but I just buried them and tried to banish them from my head. Then in college I started really thinking it might be true that I was gay but I still tried to supress it, praying that I would meet the right girl and it would go away. It wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles and got my first apartment (in West Hollywood no less) that I had any real exposure to gay people. I had no idea at the time that West Hollywood was like the center of the gay universe. I just ended up there by accident...or maybe it wasn't icon_rolleyes.gif I had this image in my head of what gays were and it wasn't something I could identify with. It wasn't until I was taken to my first gay bar that I actually saw for myself with my own eyes that gay people came in all shapes, types, and sizes, and people just like myself. For the first time I didn't feel like a freak, and saw that maybe being gay wasn't such a horrible thing to be. After that it took me about a year to come to terms with it in my own heart and mind and come out. I think I was about 26.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    people have a lot of respect for someone comfortable in their own skin, enough so that they dont have to shove it in other peoples faces.

    i was always gay, but i was unaware until i was about 15, actually when my best friend came out to me i basically had a sudden realization and everything made sense... it was extremely hard for me to accept. I associated terrible things with it, I emailed help websites asking if there was a cure, i called help hotlines. they said i was going to have to deal with it, it was an ingrained part of me. I was totally devastated.

    i stayed in the closet for about a year totally, and basically did hard drugs every weekend to avoid it. coming out is a very gradual process... i just had to plunge right in.. a year later me and my current boyfriend made t-shirts for the day of silence. I wore it to school, it was the gayest thing ive ever worn. it was basically my official coming out. it was funny because everyone thought i was making some ridiculous joke.

    after I came out, i began to be happy again. after i accepted myself, my life has only gotten better from that point on. I made some dumb decisions on the way out of the closet, but living on the outside it so much better. now i have a great boyfriend. we love eachother, its the best feeling in the world.