Beauty is only skin deep

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 4:26 PM GMT
    I used to be really out of shape, no muscle or anything etc. I asked this guy out, and he said he was not my type being pretty specific. After i got a bit more built and toned. He started to take notice of course covering it up and just patronizing me with my accomplishments and is attempting to date me now. Would you guys go for it?
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    Dec 13, 2009 4:39 PM GMT
    You likely already know the answer.icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    well if you decide to give him a chance and you all started seriously dating and then you put your weight back on, would he stay? I think you know the answer to this question.

    But personally I would forgive him but I would never forget and I would move on with my life.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 13, 2009 5:15 PM GMT
    I'm confused. He said he wasn't your type or you weren't his type?

    If he was truly supportive of your progress, why wouldn't you want to go out with him still? Unless you're going to add that he, too, was and is out of shape.

    That would make for an interesting twist.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:21 PM GMT
    rywboy saidI used to be really out of shape, no muscle or anything etc. I asked this guy out, and he said he was not my type being pretty specific. After i got a bit more built and toned. He started to take notice of course covering it up and just patronizing me with my accomplishments and is attempting to date me now. Would you guys go for it?


    The best revenge is success.

    Date him, fuck him, drop him after telling him he is a bad fuck
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:27 PM GMT
    Yep...the best revenge is sucess.

    But

    date him, fuck him, tell him he's a lousy fuck AND he looks fat when he's naked......then drop him.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 13, 2009 5:31 PM GMT
    Ugly goes straight to the bone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:31 PM GMT
    I wouldn't bother. Date someone else.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:37 PM GMT
    I think this was an episode of queer as folk (american version)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    I'd pass.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:47 PM GMT
    KissingPro saidYep...the best revenge is sucess.

    But

    date him, fuck him, tell him he's a lousy fuck AND he looks fat when he's naked......then drop him.


    LOL- yeah I forgot the fat line

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 5:48 PM GMT
    Well, Your on a site where most of the guys who participate are physically fit and it makes we wonder how many will say the pc thing or be honest w/ how they really feel. If you visit the profiles of some you might find cookie cutter images on their buddy and hot list.
    I at one point tipped the scale at 250 so I know the feeling but after time when you've dedicated yourself more to your body you might find that your attraction will lean more towards guys who dedicate time to fitness.
    Just because he's not into guys who are out of shape does not make him a bad guy he just has a preference. Some might call it a fucked up preference others...........
    Imagine if I cared about all the guys not into guys of color? It's there preference. What you like is simply that, What you like! Your options have opened up for you. Go for it and enjoy what you've wrked so hard for. no need for snobbery w/ childish revenge. you've tasted that already. Ps congrats on your success keep up the good wrk!
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Dec 13, 2009 5:52 PM GMT
    If you want to date him, do it.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:02 PM GMT
    rywboy saidI used to be really out of shape, no muscle or anything etc. I asked this guy out, and he said he was not my type being pretty specific. After i got a bit more built and toned. He started to take notice of course covering it up and just patronizing me with my accomplishments and is attempting to date me now. Would you guys go for it?


    As humans we tend to socialize with folks that have things in common with us. Fat asses with fat asses, folks from work, basketball players with basketball players and so on. The physical part is just one part of it. We all know that there are other factors, too: musical interests, false belief systems, gender, sports interests, locale, and many others.

    If you were interested in the guy before, and now he finds you more appealing, logic dictates that you continue your original interest. I.e. goal achieved. Life is too short for drama, and if you don't want to date him, don't. There are 7 BILLION others folks to pick from.

    Let your common sense guide you. Do whatever you want. You don't need pack approval on this.

    If there was a fat ass who transitioned into a gorgeous, gregarious, hunk then he did it for a reason...to go after after gorgeous, gregarious, hunks, health, more money in the workplace and so on. Nothing wrong with setting a goal and achieving it.

    To deny yourself the fruits of your labor would be kinda' silly, but, "the grass is always greener." Your call on what you do, but, don't be resentful that you're now considered more attractive. That's what you wanted. You've achieved your goal, to some extent, and now have more options. That is what you wanted, right? Unless you enjoy being miserable, you should explore your new found opportunities. All that being said, there's folks who are good looking and pricks, and ugly folks who are nice, of course, but, LOOKS are a very important part of mutual attraction at any of a number of levels.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:04 PM GMT
    Physical/sexual attraction is a huge part of wanting to date and/or sleep with someone. As long as he was polite and upfront, I don't see how he did anything wrong. He wasn't physically attracted to you before, now he is. Go out with him if you still like him.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:08 PM GMT
    KissingPro saidYep...the best revenge is sucess.

    But

    date him, fuck him, tell him he's a lousy fuck AND he looks fat when he's naked......then drop him.


    Spoken like a true vindictive, hateful, resentful, punitive gay guy. See how you are? Angry, and hurtful. One should aspire to more.

    Sometimes, the best leadership is by example. We don't always have to assert ourselves to have the final laugh. There's a definite eloquence in walking away with a smile knowing you won the game.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:11 PM GMT
    I have a friend who got married two years ago this coming spring after living with his now wife for seven years. One part of their marriage contract that was very up front: if you get fat, our marriage is over. Food abuse is a willful bad behavior and can be moderated. My buddy told his wife: I love you and I'll give you the marriage you want, but, I want you to do something for me if I work all day and bring you things, etc. You WILL stay in shape.

    I love the honesty of it. I suspect that's why they've had such a successful time together. RULES, and honesty, and will power. Qualities all of us should likely aspire to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:21 PM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidI think this was an episode of queer as folk (american version)


    Similar. Ted hooks up with a hot guy who then tells him he only hooked up with Ted as a "pity fuck" because he was so sad looking. So Ted eventually gets a whole makeover and sees the guy again who doesn't recognize or remember Ted but now finds him hot. Ted intended to sleep with him once and then dump him as revenge, but starts falling for him and sleeping with him often. Eventually Ted he does dump him and gets his revenge and the other guy is completely heartbroken because he was falling in love with Ted. I miss the series icon_sad.gif
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Dec 13, 2009 6:31 PM GMT
    Shallow bastard! the answer is no, dont you waste your time...you're worth a lot more
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:34 PM GMT
    This is true. I mean do you go around dating people you aren't attracted to? Does everyone who you don't date get to be a vindictive prick to you? I think some of the posts responding to the OP are just obnoxious.

    A large number of my current friends have at some point asked me out or wanted to be romantically engaged; I said no. Boy am I glad their skin isn't so thin that they started treating me like shit because I couldn't reciprocate their feelings. Similarly, I've been shot down, and get along fine with the men who haven't been interested in me.

    Adult life isn't a sequel to 'Mean Girls', and I wish more people would act like it. I mean seriously, how fragile are some people's egos that they get this mortally offended by the everyday?

    innerathlete saidPhysical/sexual attraction is a huge part of wanting to date and/or sleep with someone. As long as he was polite and upfront, I don't see how he did anything wrong. He wasn't physically attracted to you before, now he is. Go out with him if you still like him.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Dec 13, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    I'm messed up, me thinks. I always give someone the benefit of the doubt. He might see in you someone who now has a similar interest, such as fitness, and maybe he really respects and appreciates all your hard effort in how you turned yourself around physically.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:45 PM GMT
    I wouldn't date someone who couldn't look beyond my flaws....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:48 PM GMT
    If you are still interested in him, you should go for it. Life is too short to stay single just because he was honest with you in the past.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 13, 2009 6:50 PM GMT
    ANDCB saidI wouldn't date someone who couldn't look beyond my flaws....


    Yet at the same time...every one of us here has certain things we look for in a guy....dating or otherwise. 43.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2009 6:51 PM GMT
    It is clear what you have accomplished. What has this guy done?

    His big achievement is deciding that your physically hot now that you have re-engineered your body.

    He is still the same superficial person who rejected you.

    The question is, who are you?