Love with Contingencies

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    Dec 14, 2009 6:13 PM GMT
    I'm probably being very idealistic but I would really like some other thoughts on this.
    Why does the promise of "forever" which I think everyone strives for in their relationships have to mean "only as long as you're my boyfriend"?
    Relationships frequently don't work out, so why can't we love each other the best we can, support each other the best we can and be there with the sincerity and presence of mind that we aspire to when we are dating after we've realized we can't be together?
    When did "love" become so selfish and why is unconditional love so... conditional?
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    Dec 14, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    Love was never unconditional

    What are you God?
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    Dec 14, 2009 7:09 PM GMT
    Blondizgd saidLove was never unconditional

    What are you God?

    Obviously you've never had it because it does exist, unlike this "God" thing the lemmings speak of
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    Dec 14, 2009 7:15 PM GMT
    EasilyDistracted saidI'm probably being very idealistic but I would really like some other thoughts on this.
    Why does the promise of "forever" which I think everyone strives for in their relationships have to mean "only as long as you're my boyfriend"?
    Relationships frequently don't work out, so why can't we love each other the best we can, support each other the best we can and be there with the sincerity and presence of mind that we aspire to when we are dating after we've realized we can't be together?
    When did "love" become so selfish and why is unconditional love so... conditional?


    Nothing in life is static.
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    Dec 14, 2009 7:19 PM GMT

    Love IS unconditional, but not all encompassing. Meaning, we can only love so many people to that degree of deepness. It's the reason human beings don't build one gigantic house for us all to live in...because that kind of love is reserved for our children and family. We don't have the capacity to love everyone like that. It's also the reason we don't except several men into a committed relationship. We reserve that very deep love for a committed relationship because we can't love more than one man at once, like that. So when that bond is broken, the love is no longer concentrated and spills out. It's only so viscous until it runs thin and disperses out among the masses again, waiting to be aggregated again.

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    Dec 14, 2009 7:24 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Love IS unconditional, but not all encompassing.

    ...I'm wrapping my head around this. It makes sense.
    Thanks GG
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    Dec 14, 2009 7:37 PM GMT
    EasilyDistracted said so why can't we love each other the best we can, support each other the best we can and be there with the sincerity and presence of mind that we aspire to when we are dating after we've realized we can't be together?


    I'm actually going to leave this one to Beyonce's songwriters:

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    Dec 14, 2009 8:28 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidI'm actually going to leave this one to Beyonce's songwriters:

    My self esteem is not lacking and I'm perfectly happy on my own. I'm actually not referring to unrequited love, I'm a HUGE advocate of being uncoupled.
    But I'm also a HUGE advocate of "love" as a place in my heart for someone and holding true to that space, regardless of the label that's placed on it and treating that person with the reverence someone I love deserves.
    I just don't understand how some can love another so endlessly in one breath and then totally ostracize them out of contempt and loathing in the next.
    "Where's the love?"
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    Dec 15, 2009 2:25 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Love IS unconditional, but not all encompassing. Meaning, we can only love so many people to that degree of deepness. It's the reason human beings don't build one gigantic house for us all to live in...because that kind of love is reserved for our children and family. We don't have the capacity to love everyone like that. It's also the reason we don't except several men into a committed relationship. We reserve that very deep love for a committed relationship because we can't love more than one man at once, like that. So when that bond is broken, the love is no longer concentrated and spills out. It's only so viscous until it runs thin and disperses out among the masses again, waiting to be aggregated again.

    I don't agree with that "we" can love only one man at a time. I have greater capacity than that. The love I feel for different people in my life is not the same for everyone, but love and deep nevertheless. The more I love my boyfriend, the more I am able to love other people as well. Love for one person does not take away from love for someone else.