Runninchlt saidEven if you only smoke a couple a day you can still be "dependent" on those. Especially if smoking's a coping mechanism for stress. I sometimes wonder if "social smokers" (subconsciously or not) smoke because of the fact that they're in the social situation to take the edge off. The same way that someone might drink a glass of wine for the same purpose, not necessarily overdoing it.
Smokers say smoking relaxes them, but it's more than likely the deep breathing that relaxes them. Focusing on your breath. I'd say that at times when you want to smoke, maybe try just closing your eyes and checking in with your breath. Let that be your focus, and see if the urge passes.
You're not a smoker, right?
Social smokers are like social drinkers. There's a host of reasons for it, but I think it's quite simplistic to assume it's a coping mechanism for the stress of social interaction. Perhaps it's just cause, like beer, it's not something they regularly crave enuf to "stock" in the house, but look at it as a "special occasion" thing, like a 10 course meal, or a beer with friends. It's braintwisting for non-smokers to wrap their heads around, but smokers enjoy smoking. It's not like every time we light up, we think, "God this is absolutely awful."
And your second paragraph is quite a bit detached from evidence or experience as well. There's lots and lots of medical research on why smoking seems "relaxing" psychologically, when in fact, physiologically it's quite stress inducing. Suffice it to say that it has nothing do with breathing, or that breathing exercises have had any effect on quitting. You can Google the rest. Please.
And I know non-smokers are coming from a good place, and are just trying to help (well, most of the time, sometimes they just come in threads like this to scold, judge, or simply brag about how they've never smoked -- thanks much for that), but realize this:
Non smokers almost ALWAYS know a hell of a lot less about smoking that smokers do. And I don't just mean the act of smoking. I mean its psychologic effects. Its physiologic effects. Why it's hard to quit. What are effective and non-effective ways to quit.
As much as I try to hold my tongue when a non-smoker says stuff like:
"I'm 50 and I've never had a cigarette ever!" (how nice for you!)
"I think social smoking is just a compensation for the stress of social interaction." (Oh, you think?)
"I think that if you just breathe deeply before you light up, you'll be able to avoid it." (Wow, that simple?)
I feel like an overweight person must feel when a skinny person gives them "helpful" advice about losing weight. It's often the most incredibly ill-thought-out, fact-free gobbledygook you've heard in your life. As well intentioned as it might be, it really makes me want to ....