What is "gay-acting"?

  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 16, 2009 11:34 PM GMT
    I've read "straight-acting" a staggering number of times on this website, between forums and profiles.

    Since straight and gay seem to be complementary antonyms, I'm guessing "gay-acting" would be everyone else, unless we invent a new term, "bi-acting", which I think sounds kinda cool.

    Are gay-acting gay people being what they are and straight-acting gay people being what they aren't? If that's not the case, why do we need the word "straight-acting" anyway? Was not flamboyant too flamboyant?

    I got the feeling from another thread that "straight-acting" has become a "positive role model" for young gay men in some people's eyes. The others (I guess "gay-acting" people) were referred to as flamers, drag queens, and a host of other (evidently unsavory) names.

    Maybe what we need are public service announcements for young people that say "Kiss whoever you want, but act straight and fit in. If no one would ever guess you're attracted to men, a happy life is yours for the claiming."

    Otherwise, hop on the bandwagon, 'cause this is YOU!

    Gay-Pride-Parade.jpg
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 16, 2009 11:44 PM GMT
    wanda-1.jpg

    OMG!!! You so didn't just say that! icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:03 AM GMT
    I always thought when guys put "straight-acting" in their profiles, it meant not effeminate or not campy, which always bugged me. It assumes that to be gay you would behave this way (not that there's anything wrong with behaving this way), which we all know is far from the truth. Why not substitute straight-acting with masculine?
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:07 AM GMT
    I assume straight-acting is someone who doesn't have any perceivable gay mannerisms or stereotypical homosexual behavior. Usually applied to a gay/lesbian/bisexual who is masking their identity.
    Very homophobic.

    Gay-acting, I would think, would be the complete opposite of straight-acting.
    I have seen people do it in jest of homosexuals. Like poking fun in a way, whether meant in a harmless way or to mock someone/group of people.
    However you see this, it is also homophobic.

    However, it becomes complex to identify when a person is just "acting" and when they are presenting their true behaviors and mannerisms to others.
    Some gays are perceived as being more "straight" than others when in fact that is just the way they are; how their personality and behavior developed as they were growing up.
    The question is, are they the way they are as a result of homophobia they experienced in life early on? To avoid the stigma?

    The answers are not so clear cut..
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:17 AM GMT
    daywalker33 saidI always thought when guys put "straight-acting" in their profiles, it meant not effeminate or not campy, which always bugged me. It assumes that to be gay you would behave this way (not that there's anything wrong with behaving this way), which we all know is far from the truth. Why not substitute straight-acting with masculine?


    Stubstituting straight-acting with masculine could pose a problem.
    Do you consider lesbians that wear dresses and lipstick to be "feminine" as opposed to "butch"?

    You know, this subject as made me aware of how male-focused this community presents itself. I hardly ever see any news or subjects that talk about lesbians or transgenders, if at all. Granted, this site is male-dominated and the name itself is typically associated with men (the word JOCK) but that doesn't mean that a lesbian community couldn't be succefully developed on RealJock.

    Edit: I forgot that it says GAY Fitness, Health and Life
    Of course it is male orientated. icon_razz.gif


    I must admit though, between a gay and lesbian community, there would be lines drawn and some tension would exist on this site if such a thing were to happen. Despite the fact that we share homosexual orientation, there are still many differences between the sexes.
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:41 AM GMT
    gosh I've used the term gay acting for way over 20 years now. I first used it when a nice thing come to the gay club I worked at that time, and to me he stuck out because he was like a fresh breath of wind in the place. Sadly within six months he was all gay acting, walking with a mince, floppy wrists, the transition was dreadful to see. But then I've also seen the flamers stop being all gay acting, and become men. Because they released the best way to get the men they were attracted to, was too be more like them; so that was the end of their gay acting.

    But it had such an effect on me, that I decided there and then, that I was not going to grow up to be like that, and never have been all gay acting.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 17, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    I'm thinking my lesbionic friends would feel a tad... um... uncomfortable reading through our forums. Though they would surely enjoy the video links! icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:45 AM GMT
    Sashay shantay

    Sashay Shantay icon_biggrin.gif
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Dec 17, 2009 12:53 AM GMT
    Yea um, its just another way to say masculine versus feminine. So u know, whatever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    Everyone's "acting" in some way. Flamboyant, masculine, sensitive, stern. I maintain: who cares? Just be yourself.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 17, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    MercuryMax saidYea um, its just another way to say masculine versus feminine. So u know, whatever.


    Aah, but then I'd ask whether "straight-acting" guys are really masculine, or just faking it? That's why they're acting.
  • Tyinstl

    Posts: 353

    Dec 17, 2009 1:04 AM GMT
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    We all know what gay-acting means. We can recognize it when we see it, no need to redefine it.

    Like it or not, guys tend to find it unattractive. If you are gay-acting, you can respond to this by either changing the way you act/talk or say fuck society and be how you are (and risk rejection) just like with any other unpopular behavioral trait.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 17, 2009 1:21 AM GMT
    I nominate Tyinstl to develop the new outreach program for today's youth. Maybe write up a treatment for an after school special.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 1:23 AM GMT
    drypin said
    MercuryMax saidYea um, its just another way to say masculine versus feminine. So u know, whatever.


    Aah, but then I'd ask whether "straight-acting" guys are really masculine, or just faking it? That's why they're acting.


    But you can be a pure homosexual; not bi, and appear to be straight, and there is no acting, it's just guys being themselves, as our sexuality does not define us as a whole.
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    Dec 17, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    Gay-acting: when you make damn sure that everyone who lays eyes on you knows that you're a butt fucker, despite the fact that attraction and behavior patterns are not mutually inclusive.
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    Dec 17, 2009 2:01 AM GMT
    RyanReBoRn saidGay-acting: when you make damn sure that everyone who lays eyes on you knows that you're a butt fucker, despite the fact that attraction and behavior patterns are not mutually inclusive.



    Yyyes. I'd say this.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Dec 17, 2009 2:02 AM GMT
    My friends and I used to say one of our friends in college was "gay-acting" - except of course, he was straight.

    I think anyone who complies by defining themselves according to society's whimsical perceptions of abstract concepts like "maleness" is small-minded. Maleness clearly does not necessitate a particular sexual expression nor does it necessitate many forms of behavioral expression either.

    It's far more important to be whoever you are and define yourself according to your own values. Most people who are "straight-acting" or "gay-acting" are acting. They're not being themselves, they're putting on a front because they think for some reason, it will make them more acceptable to others. Which is just sad...
  • AWashingtonia...

    Posts: 128

    Dec 17, 2009 3:40 AM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERELike it or not, guys tend to find it unattractive. If you are gay-acting, you can respond to this by either changing the way you act/talk or say fuck society and be how you are (and risk rejection) just like with any other unpopular behavioral trait.


    This is a very presumptuous idea.

    BUT

    The theme that "gay" acting will result in rejection speaks to the level of intelligence applied in understanding the idea of "the other" in humanity. While being a member of this other group, e.g. Gay men some individuals have succumb to the fear that the normative society has propagated.

    While some men are attracted to their personal tastes, this "conform or be rejected" theory is not absolute. I think that we just need time in order to demonstrate that one's mannerisms do not dictate one's quality.

    I do know a few men who are so masculine they can nail a 2x4 with their bare knuckles. They "never" would date a "flamming" gay guy until two of them met the most flamboyant men of their lives.

    Now not everything is ideal. Opposites do not necessarily attract. I am a quiet person and will enjoy another quiet man to settle with. If he is flamboyant or subdued, that remains to be within whom I meet.

    I believe the most important goal of human kind is to learn to inquire of a person's character rather his or her appearance.

    This is one issue we have been working on since we started using our brains as people....so, I am not looking for a mass enlightenment too soon... icon_wink.gif

    Cheers!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 4:22 AM GMT
    Gay acting? Lol, that would be straight guys pretending they're gay.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 4:38 AM GMT
    Gay-acting is when you are not Straight-acting and if you are not straight-acting you are gay-acting, unless of course you are acting and then your just being devious!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 5:09 AM GMT
    My first post on this site was concerning this issue. I was…shocked and saddened by some profiles showing blatant disgust for “fems” and “queens.”

    I was disgusted by the "gay-on-gay bashings.” Hell, we all suck dicks, huh? It’s just some guys scream in higher registers when they get poked.icon_wink.gif

    When I posted my question ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. I was verbally flayed by one of RJ’s master posters, floridly accusing me of homophobia. I am still surprised at the reaction the “butch/fem” issue gets here.

    Do gay men choose to act queeny, assuming the shameful stereotypes put on them by closed minded bigots? Do “straight acting” men put on a tough guy act to cover the shame of their own “gayness?” I could analyze this to death, but just get the same result: I don’t know.

    I’ll admit that queens, fems and S&M bears made me nervous when I first jumped into the gay world. I never had exposure to people like them. Lots of people fear the unknown.

    Today, I am learning to accept myself as I am. All of me. I suppose I want to afford others the same acceptance.

    (I’m just having trouble accepting people who are making me, legally, a second class citizen in the name of God.)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 5:12 AM GMT
    I'm straight-acting until I drink then I'm gay-acting.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Dec 17, 2009 6:25 AM GMT
    David Bowie in Laybrinth.
  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Dec 17, 2009 6:30 AM GMT
    I've never understood the term "straight-acting"...technically if you are "straight-acting" you are having sex with women and if you are "gay-acting" you are having sex with men. isn't that what gay and straight are. sexual orientations? not mannerisms.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 6:41 AM GMT
    I like the Manhunt ones that say "I like to get my ass pounded hard and deep - str8 acting only - no fems" icon_lol.gif

    Anyway I am not "gay acting" - I really am a fag, for real...
    Signed, Butch