Knowing that you are HIV- would you fool around with someone who is HIV+?

  • jperfit

    Posts: 593

    Dec 17, 2009 4:14 AM GMT
    For me it would be NO? only because it would always be in the back of my mind; even by taken safe precautions.
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    Dec 17, 2009 4:38 AM GMT

    I respect your decision OP, but I think it is a young response. As you grow older, learn more about the disease, and gain more confidence, you might not be so quick to sideline "precautions." My answer is, "I don't know"; a couple years ago, it would have been , "NO." As you live, you'll find that there is no guarantee that you'll never sleep with a pos person anyway, without knowing and that you are not immune to love. Love terrifies me because I know it's power. It could compel me. What's more is even just hookups; living you'll find that these pos guys are just a beguiling as the negative. Many are aware of the proper precautions, and are very responsible. Did I mention good looking. Do the the math, pretty poison and that's the old me talking, but mmmmm, pretty poison.
    ......................................................292016-poison_ivy.jpg
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    Dec 17, 2009 4:40 AM GMT
    how many times will this question be asked and why does it always seem to be asked by those who say no???
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    Dec 17, 2009 4:41 AM GMT

    lilTanker saidhow many times will this question be asked and why does it always seem to be asked by those who say no???


    Just no and nothing more.
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    Dec 17, 2009 4:47 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    lilTanker saidhow many times will this question be asked and why does it always seem to be asked by those who say no???


    Just no and nothing more.

    I no all and I no nothing
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    Dec 17, 2009 4:52 AM GMT

    I'm neg by the way, but I'm positively crazy bout chu! icon_surprised.gificon_redface.gificon_razz.gificon_smile.gificon_twisted.gificon_wink.gificon_exclaim.gif
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Dec 17, 2009 4:57 AM GMT
    I assume every one I have sex with could be positive.

    If I choose to have sex, there is no difference what I do, or how I do it etc.
    I am safe....always.

  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Dec 17, 2009 5:20 AM GMT
    Sorry guys but it's a no for me too. Obviously assume everyone is pos and take the appropriate precautions but I wouldn't knowingly sleep with someone who is pos. I am young and hopefully have a long life ahead of me. The risk isn't worth the reward.
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Dec 17, 2009 7:00 AM GMT
    NO!!!!!
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Dec 17, 2009 12:50 PM GMT
    Every gay man has probably already fooled with someone poz whether you knew it or not. For a single gay man today who is hooking up, dating or whatever, you need to assume every man you meet is poz until you find out otherwise and go from there. I don't understand these threads esp in this day and age. Poz guys need love too.
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    Dec 17, 2009 12:57 PM GMT
    rule #1: PLAY SAFE NO MATTER WHAT
    rule #2: refer to rule number 1.
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    Dec 17, 2009 1:09 PM GMT
    Like my surviving peers, I've lived with this plague for thirty years and lost many good friends. From my perspective, the world is a much lonelier place.

    Let's get one thing clear: what killed them in those horrible early years was mostly ignorance and fear and after nearly three decades of education and medical strides, ignorance still rules. We struggled to pull down barriers of fear that isolated and stigmatized positve people from the rest of a frightened community. So everytime this foolish topic pops up, I vacilate between anger and sorry resignation.

    We know so much more about the virus, it's lifecycle and transmission and through vigilance and care we can stop the virus cold, not through fear and ignorance but through education, respect for and real care for all our sexual partners, positve or negative.

    Treat yourself and your partners with real care and concern and you've got nothing to fear.

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    Dec 18, 2009 2:57 AM GMT
    ever since sahem told me "just have sex like everyones poz" ive been good icon_smile.gif i have alot of friends that have had partners with different status' and theyve remained neg. u just gotta be a smart cookie. i hate when ppl alienate poz ppl. its super gay.
  • jperfit

    Posts: 593

    Dec 18, 2009 10:20 PM GMT
    I get what some people are saying but why would you want to borrow possible trouble for yourself? just because someone looks good? their is a lot of look good people in the world and many are not poz,
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    Dec 18, 2009 10:25 PM GMT
    Sometimes, but, not always, you can work around something hazardous, and not get hurt. There is a certain of amount of risk in everything we do, but, the wiser of us usually manage that risk appropriately.

    Now you can work on power lines, and maybe not get burned (it often means death), but, eventually, sooner, or later, you'll almost certainly be shocked. It's all in the statistics.

    Given failure rates for protective devices, and human nature, for most responsible folks (both to themselves, and to society at large) the answer should be no.

    Before the age of modern medicine, one of the most effective ways to fight disease was quarantine. That still holds true today.

    There are those of us who choose to look at the bigger picture and beyond the end of our own noses, and our desires, and to do the right thing by our fellow man.
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    Dec 18, 2009 10:35 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidhow many times will this question be asked and why does it always seem to be asked by those who say no???

    So you noticed that too? And I've given my answer so many times here I don't think I'll bother anymore.
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    Dec 18, 2009 10:38 PM GMT
    Never rule out dating someone who is HIV+!

    I can tell you from experience as someone that is HIV negative...some of the most incredible men just happen to be positive. Why would you want to keep someone amazing out of your life just because of their positive HIV status.

    There are MANY positive-negative couples in this world. Ask them how they feel. I bet that many would NEVER change what they have. Some great things come with hurdles...you learn and grow more that way. You may have an incredibly wonderful impact on the positive partner.

    Most men who avoid being with a positive man are scared. I sort of understand! If you are completely safe there is no need to be scared. Others are scared of getting attached and losing someone special. Never, never, NEVER let that stop you from learning about someone new. You never know that they may teach you.

    Sometimes you just have to think about others...not just yourself. I've learned that over the years. =)



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    Dec 18, 2009 10:47 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    lilTanker saidhow many times will this question be asked and why does it always seem to be asked by those who say no???

    So you noticed that too? And I've given my answer so many times here I don't think I'll bother anymore.


    It's seems like folks come along seeking validation for bad behavior, or for doing the right thing. Again, and again.
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    Dec 18, 2009 11:19 PM GMT
    I had a two year sexual relationship with a guy who was HIV+ and he failed to inform me of this, even after I asked, he even encouraged unprotected sex. Yet to this day many years latter, I'm still HIV-.

    I've surprised some people in the past who were HIV+, because I was still willing to embrace them, and kiss them, knowing I knew they were HIV+.

    So would I. If I feel for a guy who was HIV+ yes I would.
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    Dec 18, 2009 11:26 PM GMT
    Now how many people who survived the 70s and 80s who are still alive today, because they hid away during the darkest years of the gay plauge, or they they were hiding away in the closet with a wife, and now are out condemn the young ones for their fear.icon_rolleyes.gif

    They have a right to this fear, and to grow without condemnation; some young people just put on an act of being accepting of all thing, just to be accepted to.
  • Akula

    Posts: 130

    Dec 19, 2009 12:06 AM GMT
    It seems so many people act like HIV is the only thing that can kill you. How many people die in car accidents, falls, cancer, or one of a thousand ways of getting killed off. I'd rather get pozed then get cancer seen the results of both, I'd take my chances with the HIV any day. I'm still neg and I've fucked a lot of poz guys.
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    Dec 19, 2009 12:23 AM GMT
    This issue makes me crazy every time I come across it!!

    Every time I get in my truck and drive, someone could come flying through a red light, or swerve into my lane and hit me dead on and kill me or paralyze me for life. Does that stop me from driving?

    I am not gonna let fear stand in the way when I know how to protect myself.

    Anyone who says they would not fool around with a positive guy either has self trust issues (Meaning prone to taking risk and don't trust themselves to make sound decisions in the heat of the moment) or its just ignorance of HIV and how to minimize risk.

    Every time you have sex with someone you are at risk, even if a man tells you he his negative, fully believing him is foolish. And it's not just HIV, there are a whole host of other viruses you can catch and not get rid of.

    Stop putting your head in the sand and live your life. Having sex with someone who is HIV positive, honest about it and on medications is far safer than having sex with someone who lies or doesn't know.

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    Dec 19, 2009 12:37 AM GMT
    i dont usually share my thoughts on issues like this..
    however.. the virus its just what it is.. a virus.. that not only you can get from having sex but from a cut on any of your digits, in fact, there are many ways that the virus can be transferred. having unprotected sex is just one of them.

    first of all, we should all be informed and Educated about the issue and then make a decision based on knowledge not on some past thoughts and words from past decades where the virus was not understandable and there weren't many advances or any kind of hope. Now days we have a more deep understanding about the issue and we have hope that one day might be cured, that maybe one day one of us can find the answer to this virus.

    Protection is always the answer.. whether you are pos or neg.. you should always protect yourself. why be so afraid of those guys that in fact are mature enough to say they are Pos and take responsibility of their actions where there are thousands of positive guys running around infecting others by not saying a word about their status?

    anyway. i think it depends on the person and the kind of human being they are.
    I'm negative dating a negative guy, but if i were in love with a positive.. well, i would make him happy and i would protect myself just like a would with anyone else.
    i would understand (or at least try to) the hardships that they go through and try to make a better life for my partner.
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    Dec 19, 2009 12:43 AM GMT
    I couldn't cuz I'm too Ocd
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    Dec 19, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    I know it's felonious assault in a lot of states that someone positive has to disclose their status before they even as much use a 'toy' with you, but can't people lie to you and tell you they are neg, then what?
    How will you know they are lying?
    There are a lot of positive guys out there; the stigma is much worse then the disease. They keep it to themselves. You have probably slept with more then you think. Just be safe.