Dreading It

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2009 3:01 PM GMT
    About a year ago I came out to my parents. Very late bloomer here. Dad always knew but Mom took it kind of hard. They pretty much accepted me for who I am. However I still have not come out to my sister and kept putting it off because of her work troubles, busy family life (4 boys she has. One husband and three sons 16, 13, and 10 respectively) and how she would take the news.

    I've finally decided to tell her the truth at the beginning of next year. However I don't think she will like the news one little bit. I'm not too worried about my brother in law because I think he always knew. I'm also afraid she will keep me from seeing my nephews whom I love very much. I'm not sure they will take the news very well either.

    Any advice or suggestions?
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    Dec 17, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    Scribbler:

    You don't really give us much to go on. There are too many variables. give us a clue. Why do you suspect your sister will be so opposed to your life? Why do yo think will she bar you from seeing her kids?
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    Dec 17, 2009 8:47 PM GMT
    Scribbler100 saidAbout a year ago I came out to my parents. Very late bloomer here. Dad always knew but Mom took it kind of hard. They pretty much accepted me for who I am. However I still have not come out to my sister and kept putting it off because of her work troubles, busy family life (4 boys she has. One husband and three sons 16, 13, and 10 respectively) and how she would take the news.

    I've finally decided to tell her the truth at the beginning of next year. However I don't think she will like the news one little bit. I'm not too worried about my brother in law because I think he always knew. I'm also afraid she will keep me from seeing my nephews whom I love very much. I'm not sure they will take the news very well either.

    Any advice or suggestions?


    Whatever happens happens. Man up, and hope for the best.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Dec 17, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    Why do you feel that you have to come out to your sister ?
    I'll bet you any amount of money that she's already figured it out.
    If I was in your place, I'd leave things the way they are.
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    Dec 17, 2009 11:26 PM GMT
    I am pretty sure your mum and sister talk about you!
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    Dec 17, 2009 11:36 PM GMT
    rigsby saidScribbler:

    You don't really give us much to go on. There are too many variables. give us a clue.


    Off topic: That's really a cunty thing to write. Way to be supportive.

    On topic: If every one has suspected it, then she probably has as well. And your folks may have told her already. If you think her husband suspects it, he may have even spoken to her about it.

    It might be a good idea to speak to your folks about it and ask them how they think she'll take it, and maybe mention you worry she will take it hard and not let you see your nephews. They might be able to help you out and give you some advice.

    Hope it all goes well!
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    Dec 18, 2009 2:17 AM GMT

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  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 18, 2009 2:25 AM GMT
    I think you'll probably be surprised about how much your sister knows already

    ... but if the person that you spent a lifetime with growing up will be as mean spirited and evil as to Keep you from seeing your nephews?
    and this is even a possibility in your mind?

    What's up with that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2009 3:01 AM GMT
    I agree with above, your parents might have already told her and she is waiting for you tell her. Ask your folks first just to be sure.

    You have to find the answer in yourself. Whatever you decide, stick to your guns, don't falter!

    Good luck man!
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    Dec 18, 2009 3:25 AM GMT
    Scribbler100 saidAbout a year ago I came out to my parents. Very late bloomer here. Dad always knew but Mom took it kind of hard. They pretty much accepted me for who I am. However I still have not come out to my sister and kept putting it off because of her work troubles, busy family life (4 boys she has. One husband and three sons 16, 13, and 10 respectively) and how she would take the news.

    I've finally decided to tell her the truth at the beginning of next year. However I don't think she will like the news one little bit. I'm not too worried about my brother in law because I think he always knew. I'm also afraid she will keep me from seeing my nephews whom I love very much. I'm not sure they will take the news very well either.

    Any advice or suggestions?



    You will be surprise how much your sister and her kids already know and probably having been waiting for you to tell them! I never came out to my family as it is often the case with most gays who choose to come out by sitting down with family members, writing them a letter, or being caught in the act! it wasn't an issue for me or them to finally know and accept my sexuality until the day I finally found someone worth my time and theirs!!

    It took years before they found out about my sexuality not because I was ashamed or closeted, or just me being picky but because I couldn't find a suitable and decent guy for me! but when that day came it wasn't until I was sure myself about the intent and my feelings of the guy I was dating at the time, that my family later found out when my mother one day asked me if the guy I was dating at the time was more then just a friend!? my reply to my mother was "I think he is the one Mom!?" well twenty five plus years later another guy came into my life and once again I told my mother "This guy is a keeper Mom!!?

    I have siblings who are happily married with children, they know I am gay, and they all adore me!! they are always very happy and static whenever I have someone in my life who makes me happy,and that is what I hope your sister and nephews should feel for you!!!


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2009 3:41 AM GMT
    she already knows and has prepared a whole speech filled with morality: s has consulted with the parish minister for the best arguments to put you on a guilt trip, she will have God on her side of course and will be concerned over the safety of her children in your presence.
    She's been dying to blurt it out at 1200Hz for years and now at last you will
    give her the chance. Good man ! icon_smile.gif

    you could just upload a video on YT and send her the link and wait 2 months.

    --

    but seriously unless she's of an ostrich descent , no doubt your bro in law has discussed it with her.
    You do well to say it, black on white, and act according to her attitude.
    Don;t forget you'll be no different 5 minutes after you tell her, than you were 5 minutes before.
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    Dec 18, 2009 4:03 AM GMT
    Guys, thanks for the comments and suggestions.

    I guess the reason for my worry is we are all small town Georgia folk. Well I live in Savannah but one can hardly call it a teeming metropolis. My parents, my sister and her family live in Springfield, a small rural town. This means big trucks, church on Sunday, ballgames and hunting during the weekend, saying sir or ma'am, and more than a little conservative.

    I doubt my parents have told her about my sexuality but it's possible. It's also possible my sister has always suspected and is waiting for me to tell her. After all I am 43 and have never talked about a girlfriend. As for my sister barring me from my seeing nephews, I doubt she would do that. I do worry about their reaction when they find out though.

    January promises to be an interesting month.
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    Dec 18, 2009 1:23 PM GMT
    Scribbler100 saidGuys, thanks for the comments and suggestions.

    I guess the reason for my worry is we are all small town Georgia folk. Well I live in Savannah but one can hardly call it a teeming metropolis. My parents, my sister and her family live in Springfield, a small rural town. This means big trucks, church on Sunday, ballgames and hunting during the weekend, saying sir or ma'am, and more than a little conservative.

    I doubt my parents have told her about my sexuality but it's possible. It's also possible my sister has always suspected and is waiting for me to tell her. After all I am 43 and have never talked about a girlfriend. As for my sister barring me from my seeing nephews, I doubt she would do that. I do worry about their reaction when they find out though.

    January promises to be an interesting month.


    Everyone knows but you, and, the only way to get ignorant folks non-ignorant is to educate them. It's just that simple.

    What you may find is that your sister doesn't need to know (you aren't fucking her), and not all small town folks are fucked up by false belief systems.

    You're 43. Time to man up.
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    Dec 18, 2009 1:31 PM GMT
    don't live your life for other people. Do the right thing and tell her. She will either be accepting or not. If she decides to be a d-bag and cut you out of her life then it is her loss. Life has many ups and downs, so if things get low be confident they will come back up again.

    I say fuck off to people who are closeminded and don't accept me for who I am. Don't live your life trying to fit yourself in the molds of people you wish to be accepted by. Be you!
  • shirty

    Posts: 290

    Dec 18, 2009 2:13 PM GMT
    danielryan said
    I say fuck off to people who are closeminded and don't accept me for who I am. Don't live your life trying to fit yourself in the molds of people you wish to be accepted by. Be you!


    Well said! Thank you for that - I needed to hear it today.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2009 3:11 PM GMT
    I was afraid this thread was about someone contemplating dreadlocks.
    Don't do it!!!!!!icon_eek.gif

    what a relief it's a "coming out issue" icon_biggrin.gif

    so it sounds like your sister knows and while she may not like it, it's always better to be honest. i advise a heart to heart, just the two of you, let her know you love her and want to share important news about your life. don't ask her how she feels or try to get her to respond, just say "we're family and I wanted you to know." that way she isn't put in the spot, she doesn't have to be supportive, you don't need her approval... this is just about sharing information with a family member.
    icon_cool.gif
    good luck!
    .
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    Dec 18, 2009 11:45 PM GMT
    chuckystud said
    Scribbler100 saidGuys, thanks for the comments and suggestions.

    You're 43. Time to man up.


    God you're a cunt. Really. Why do you bother contributing to these forums? I mean, really?
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Dec 19, 2009 7:51 AM GMT
    Gee, I have an idea.

    ASK YOUR PARENTS IF YOUR SISTER KNOWS ??????????????