People Who Crave Attention

  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Dec 18, 2009 8:59 AM GMT
    Have any of you ever dealt with someone who craves attention so much that they don't care if it's positive or negative? I am currently dealing with someone like this and it seems like the more I ignore him the more outlandish his antics get. I have tried to talk to him, but the more I do that, the worst he gets. I heard the proper term for this is "Histrionic Personality Disorder" How do you guys handle people like that?
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    Dec 18, 2009 9:23 AM GMT
    You don't. icon_smile.gif
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Dec 18, 2009 10:10 AM GMT
    Soulasphyxi saidYou don't. icon_smile.gif


    It seems like putting this guy on ignore only causes him to even go harder at aggravating me.
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    Dec 18, 2009 10:43 AM GMT
    NyRuinz said
    Soulasphyxi saidYou don't. icon_smile.gif


    It seems like putting this guy on ignore only causes him to even go harder at aggravating me.


    Well on some level, this last post crave's something in the tone in which you reply. If you consider posting, then realize you put yourself out there for criticism by people that view things opposite frm you. putting ppl on ignore means that ....you want only to hear like minded ppl. On some level by posting aggressively you attract more attention and perhaps more chime in....case in point.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Dec 18, 2009 2:34 PM GMT
    Hillie said
    NyRuinz said
    Soulasphyxi saidYou don't. icon_smile.gif


    It seems like putting this guy on ignore only causes him to even go harder at aggravating me.


    Well on some level, this last post crave's something in the tone in which you reply. If you consider posting, then realize you put yourself out there for criticism by people that view things opposite frm you. putting ppl on ignore means that ....you want only to hear like minded ppl. On some level by posting aggressively you attract more attention and perhaps more chime in....case in point.


    Okay I'm lost right now icon_question.gif, That post was not directed to any member on this board, I'm talking about the attention seeking jerk at my job, who has been causing a major headache for me.
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    Dec 18, 2009 2:44 PM GMT
    I deal with people like that all the time... all you can do is do your damndest not to feed their ego.
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    Dec 18, 2009 2:59 PM GMT
    NyRuinz saidHave any of you ever dealt with someone who craves attention so much that they don't care if it's positive or negative? I am currently dealing with someone like this and it seems like the more I ignore him the more outlandish his antics get. I have tried to talk to him, but the more I do that, the worst he gets. I heard the proper term for this is "Histrionic Personality Disorder" How do you guys handle people like that?


    First: Do you value his friendship? Is he just an acquaintance?

    I would be honest with him. Give him a wake up call. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you can’t handle his histrionics anymore. If he values your friendship and opinion, he will make a change for the better. Hell, we’ve all got our annoying thing. Would you like a friend to tell you about a little part of yourself that needs improving. It might be hard to hear, but it helps us in the long run.
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    Dec 18, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    Go buy one of those Mini-SuperSoakers that fit on a keychain.... when they activate their Attention-Whore Mode, just blast them a few times....

    For added kicks, substitute water for other fun liquids like:
    -bleach
    -urine
    -bright red koolaid
    -pickle juice
    -the water from a can of tuna/chicken


    icon_twisted.gif
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    Dec 18, 2009 3:48 PM GMT
    I don't crave it until I start getting it.

    I'm careful not to put myself in those positions though.







    But damn I love being in the spotlight.
    My biggest character flaw, I think.
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    Dec 18, 2009 4:41 PM GMT
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    Dec 18, 2009 4:42 PM GMT
    It's not your job to rehabilitate him -- and it may be impossible to change his behavior -- but if you want to take on the project, try the animal-trainer thing: you don't just ignore the behavior that you don't like, you also reward the behavior that you do like. You want to channel his attention-seeking into constructive directions by consistently praising, and hopefully reinforcing, appropriate behavior ("that was a really good idea!" "that was helpful"). Obnoxious behavior you walk away from, or pick up a book, or meet with stony silence.

    Much depends on your working relationship with the guy. You might have some success if he's your co-worker (and why not tell his supervisor?) If you're his boss, you could just fire the guy. OTOH, if he is the boss, good luck with that... (and why are you still working there?)

    Sahem, sorry to hear that this is your daily existence!
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    Dec 18, 2009 4:44 PM GMT
    I'm pretty much the same as DanielH.... When I drink people tell me I love hearing myself talk.


    Anyway, about histrionic personality disorders.... that's a tough one to diagnose. I told a friend I thought she had that because she DOES like attention, DOES make everything sexual, DOES have low self-esteem, etc.


    Now I shouldn't have said that because I had to write an apology letter to her explaining how much she means to me.


    DON'T tell someone you think they have that disorder.
  • Neon_Dreams

    Posts: 352

    Dec 18, 2009 5:02 PM GMT
    Some of the greatest film actors also crave attention. I think this type of personality can be celebrated, if focus and energy are put into positive projects.

    Fellow actor here. icon_biggrin.gif And, I crave much attention when I am 'acting'. icon_razz.gif


    Joe
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    Dec 18, 2009 5:29 PM GMT
    Sounds like a couple of well known RJers.icon_lol.gif
  • outdoorjunkie

    Posts: 118

    Dec 18, 2009 5:30 PM GMT
    According to the DSM IV, there is no such thing as a disorder classified as histrionic. There is, however, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here's a link:

    http://allpsych.com/disorders/personality/narcissism.html

    Unless you're a qualified psychologist, you cannot diagnose this person. I would refrain from assuming this person suffers from a specific disorder, as any psychologist will tell you that it's extremely rare that one suffers from a single disorder. It is much more likely that a person with a personality disorder has symptoms of many. Dealing with someone who has this disorder is extremely difficult. I say this from personal experience. I'm not trying to lecture you, just know that this is a serious claim and if the person truly has a personality disorder of this magnitude, you should feel very sorry for them (but I'm sure he makes that fairly impossible?).

    I second what zotamorf62 suggested. Humans are still pack animals and respond to behavioral cues. If he realizes he's getting a rise out of you, and that satisfies him, he'll continue to seek that behavior. Only respond when he genuinely pleases you. Don't give him fake or manufactured compliments.

    There is also the fact that this occurs in your workplace. I would encourage you to contact your HR department and find out what behaviors they classify as egregious, or at least ones that deserve a good talking-to. You should never feel threatened or harassed at your workplace. If you do, you have a legitimate claim for this person's supervisor to intervene.
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    Dec 18, 2009 5:33 PM GMT
    zotamorf62 saidSahem, sorry to hear that this is your daily existence!

    No, this isn't my daily existence... I just said I deal with them all the time.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Dec 18, 2009 5:49 PM GMT
    Craving positive or negative attention is also a characteristic of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Keep in mind the individual is selective in the person from which the attention is sought.

  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Dec 19, 2009 2:57 AM GMT
    Celticmusl saidCraving positive or negative attention is also a characteristic of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Keep in mind the individual is selective in the person from which the attention is sought.



    Thank you for adding that Celtic, I feel that he craves attention from me only. A lot of my co-workers find him to be weird, but have not experienced the behavior that I have. He has gossiped about me, he has been rude to me on occasion and every time, and even tells lies. When I bring these things to his attention he gives me 1000 excuses and denies every thing, we shake on it and two days later it's the same thing. I was trying to refrain from going to h.r because I know his father is battling cancer, and from what he's said he supports him and he also has a child on the way, but this guy really aggravates me and he's always complimenting me on my appearance, to the point that it creeps me out
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    Dec 19, 2009 3:04 AM GMT
    Sounds just like a drama queen. I ex-communicate those types out of my life....
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    Dec 19, 2009 3:08 AM GMT
    Sounds like Terra.
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    Dec 19, 2009 3:16 AM GMT
    This thread needs to be more about me...
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    Dec 19, 2009 4:58 AM GMT
    I love attention.
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    Dec 19, 2009 5:35 AM GMT
    If it's getting to the point that you are dreading going to work, then it's time to go to HR, with specific, documented instances of problems. Why put his needs over your own? We all have family or issues in our life that make our life more complicated. That doesn't excuse or justify his behaviors.

    Regardless, good luck!
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Dec 19, 2009 11:00 AM GMT
    Thanks For The Advice Guy icon_biggrin.gif
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Dec 19, 2009 11:04 AM GMT
    AggieBoy saidSounds just like a drama queen. I ex-communicate those types out of my life....



    I agree that's exactly what he is...
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