What to expect in early stages of new dating/relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2009 9:28 PM GMT
    I'm looking for some candid advise on what to expect in the early stages of dating.

    dating a guy, for 2.5 months, its been a while for me to be interested in someone like i am him.

    How much time to you expect to spend together?
    How often to you talk?
    How often to communicate things going in your life?
    How soon did you have sex?

    1. Sex: Agreed not to have sex right away, I didn't want to, I think its important to get to know that person. I was thinking a month, it was 2 months. We've had sex only twice but I have spend the night at least 5-6 times, no sex.
    He's shown interest in having sex more often, I know he's just as sexual as I am.

    2. Time: We tend to spend 1-2 nights a week together, distance of homes can be challenging, not possible for the quick visit in the evening after work. And we can easily go a few days without talking.

    3. Friends: We've both invited each other to meet respective friends at holiday/bday parties, all on a casual basis. He's open that we're dating.

    4. Interests -- we both show our respective interest in one another, and I know how I feel when I'm with him, great. He's interested, I'm interested... Its the times when we're away.

    So at about 2-3 months in to a new 'thing' -- what do YOU expect to get from the other person?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 18, 2009 10:00 PM GMT
    Oh, what do I expect?

    I'm a very clear and blunt person whenever it comes to establishing my boundaries and permissions. I use questions to get the exact information that I need to know from the guy.

    "So we've been in a dating setting for about 3 months now... would you feel comfortable talking about our boundaries for each other?"

    "I've noticed we've been dating for quite a while now. Should things stay as they are, or should we take this a step further? I'd just like to hear your opinion on that."

    "What are some of your preferences as far as dating someone? Do you like to take things slow and watch how they progress, or do you allow free reign of your emotions or actions and go with the flow of things at the time?"

    I don't say it exactly like that, but I definitely get the point across. Luckily I make sure the lines of communication are completely open with them so I'm within understanding of their decisions and reasoning. Every person is different and should be handled in their own unique way. I cannot tell you what to do exactly, but I pray that I helped you just a bit. Ask questions, empathize with their reasons, understand them, compromise with them, care for them.

    Communication is essential to any relationship you have. I would trust that you have good reasoning and you can pick out when it's a good time to talk. If you don't, a simple question could help. "Do you mind if we talk about something I've been thinking a lot about?"

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 20, 2009 2:02 PM GMT
    You know what?
    Leave the expectations at home
    and go by what you want and what you feel

    If you want to have sex... have it
    if you don't ... don't

    Just talk to him about it and communicate what you like, want and need
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2009 4:00 PM GMT
    I usually try to expect nothing. Because usually this is all you get. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 4:06 AM GMT
    My advice is to bring out the subject of sex out front, but make it a condition of further involvement. If the relationship expands, then your home free, if not, you have the stuff on the table, and can go on with life