i need some advice...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2009 5:57 PM GMT
    Over this past summer i developed a crush on this guy. This guy, that i have been friends with for a while and that i really didnt have any interest in before, esp when he had a boyfriend (yup, this guy is gay). Well, ive hung out with him within our circle of friends and i developed a crush on him, and i thought he felt the same way.

    We eventually went out to lunch (i didnt state it as a date before, and im not going to start now) over this past summer and we ended up chatting about a lot of things, including past relationships (he mentioned that school had been hard this past semester since his now ex was making it v. difficult AND that he and his ex ended on v. bad terms). We ended lunch wanting to hang out more.

    He eventually went back to school and i told him that i liked him (via im... yeah i know, it was the only way to communicate it to him at the time) and he responded that he was not interesetd in me that way. I took it hard, but ive been trying to move on.

    We occasionally send the random message across facebook and whatnot and we ended up chatting for a decent amount of time the other day, about random things and school.

    I recently started thinking about him, ALOT and I dont know what to do. I get jealous sometimes of his pic posts on facebook, where he is really close to a guy or whatnot. I consider him one of my three (three guys that i think it wouldve been amazing to be with in a relationship)

    AND with all this background information, I NEED YOUR ADVICE... What should i do? Should i tell him about my now feelings? Should I try to forget about him and move on with my life? Should I even maintain my friendship with him? HELP ME

    thank you in advance
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Dec 19, 2009 7:50 PM GMT
    WHAT PART OF, " and he responded that he was not interesetd in me that way" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ?

    While you're wasting your time pining over this guy, you're not out there where "Mr. Right" can find you.
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    Dec 19, 2009 8:33 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidWHAT PART OF, " and he responded that he was not interesetd in me that way" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ?

    While you're wasting your time pining over this guy, you're not out there where "Mr. Right" can find you.


    DITTO.

    Go gotta move on buddy... you'll be alright.

    God, I must have listened to this song 100 times when I was once in your situation:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2009 9:06 PM GMT

    The guys are so right, aqualad. You can't meet new love when tied to old. (Especially when old wasn't even a two way street.)


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    Let it go. It is way healthier.
  • jingold04

    Posts: 122

    Dec 19, 2009 9:49 PM GMT
    Well, as harsh as Webster put it (jez,dude,hope you don't volunteer at a hospice! "the bad news is your dying,but the good news is....no more worrying about your figure!!") I have to agree,because I've been there.Hell,we've all been there.
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    Dec 19, 2009 10:07 PM GMT
    If you can't handle the relationship as just friends you have to move on.
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    Dec 19, 2009 10:44 PM GMT

    Don't ever tell a guy you like him. Either wait until he tells you he likes you first and if he never does, NEVER tell him you like him. When a man is on the verge of developing feelings for you chemicals are mixing, synapses are firing, and bonds are connecting just right. Cause a disruption like that and you ruin it. Be patient and things come out fine. Consider yourself a boa constrictor digesting its prey. These things take time. icon_lol.giflips_sealed.jpg

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    Dec 19, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    GG if everybody follows your advice, ain't nobody telling anybody anything, no? Shit, somebody's gotta make the first move....icon_eek.gif

    OP, as someone once said, "Never try to teach a pig to sing...it wastes your time and it annoys the pig."
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    Dec 20, 2009 1:04 AM GMT
    There's a key phase in this posting..."and he responded that he was not interested in me that way. " (I fixed the bad spelling.)

    YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM ALONE AND MOVE ON. You're just making yourself miserable (uhh, non-productive), and if you don't leave him alone, you'll piss him off, too.

    Time to mature a bit, and get on with the rest of your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 20, 2009 9:48 AM GMT
    Jesus, Mary, Joseph.He told you he is not interest with you. Move on and be friend with him.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 20, 2009 11:31 AM GMT
    I'm not going to pile on and tell you what all the other guys have said
    ... you have a unanimous group here
    but you will need to ask if being just friends is going to be enough for you
    If you're going to be acting like a little puppydog everytime this guy is around and your heart is going to ache
    what's the sense of that?
    That's going to just be self abuse
    Find another man
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    Dec 20, 2009 12:10 PM GMT
    Sometimes it's good to take a break from being friends and check it out later, after you've had some time and space away from each other. There have been several guys I suffered over, only to meet up a year later and think " Why did I want HIM?" LOL - probably seems hard for you to imagine right now - but it happens - a lot.
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    Dec 20, 2009 1:12 PM GMT
    You’re not the exception.

    You’re the rule.


    Yeah, I just watched: He’s not that into you, again last night.