Would you be gay - or bisexual - if you had a choice? A poll of 1,001 American voters has found that almost half believe being gay is something people choose.

  • maverik

    Posts: 47

    Dec 21, 2009 3:38 PM GMT
    Poll suggests almost half of Americans believe being gay is a choice

    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2009/12/18/poll-suggests-almost-half-of-americans-believe-being-gay-is-a-choice/

    When I was a bit younger I was unhappy about being gay. I felt that I was different and that sometimes made me feel excluded (perhaps self imposed) from things that my other friends took for granted. Things like having kids, being open about who I really was and talking about sex. Until I came out I certainly felt to some extent that I was living a kinda "double life".

    Well it seems in the general populations that 50% (+-3%) believe being gay is a choice. I'm all for having choices and opportunitied. But to be honest I'm not sure I agree and wonder whre they get these ideas from.
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    Dec 21, 2009 5:48 PM GMT
    I truly believe there is a wide range of sexuality in our society. There are individuals who are able to participate in either sexual or loving relationships with partners from both sexes. For these individuals, it really is more of a choice than for others.

    However, there is a focus on the "B" in LGBT community by the straight community. The straight population's desire to focus on bisexuals as the only variation from those who choose to only have male/female relations is ignorance driven by the opponents of sexual diversity. For some it is truly not an easy concept for them to understand, because it is not something they are exposed to. Others are bigots listening to the propaganda spread by those who wish to put an end to civil rights for this community.

    There are many lesbians and gays that also do not believe that there are some that have a choice, because their own experience is different from those of the bisexuals. It is difficult for individuals to understand behavior that is not familiar to them through their own experiences.

    I do not feel that being gay is a choice for me as an individual. Nevertheless, I do feel that I am not representative of all life forms. Variations exist in forms that I do not understand, but I do not need to. I simply need to appreciate that we are all different.
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    Dec 21, 2009 5:51 PM GMT
    Not a choice at all.
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    Dec 21, 2009 5:51 PM GMT
    If I had a choice, NO. Why would I want to make a choice to live a life of being discriminated against or where people's ignorance and hatred leave me unable to be the person I truly am.
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    Dec 21, 2009 6:04 PM GMT
    I think a lot of people mistake "sex" for being gay .. they reason like this ..

    having sex is a choice -> therefore having sex with same gender is a choice

    The whole time they don't consider that being gay is not just about sex, but attraction to the same gender. Also some people cannot understand or do not want to understand same gender attraction because they are straight and western society is biased against homosexuality because religion among other things.
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    Dec 21, 2009 6:07 PM GMT
    I agree with you ActiveAndFit, but I also think there are individuals who are able to have relationships (not just sex) with both sexes.

    I think both concepts are difficult for people to accept.


    ActiveAndFit saidI think a lot of people mistake "sex" for being gay .. they reason like this ..

    having sex is a choice -> therefore having sex with same gender is a choice

    The whole time they don't consider that being gay is not just about sex, but attraction to the same gender. Also some people cannot understand or do not want to understand same gender attraction because to them opposite gender attraction simply because they are straight and western society is biased against homosexuality because religion among other things.
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    Dec 21, 2009 6:17 PM GMT
    creyente saidI agree with you ActiveAndFit, but I also think there are individuals who are able to have relationships (not just sex) with both sexes.

    I think both concepts are difficult for people to accept.
    The key here is intimacy and desire which we are biologically programmed to have for the most part the desire to have sex is not chosen, but built into our minds and bodies .. what we are attracted to also is not chosen for the most part.
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    Dec 21, 2009 6:22 PM GMT
    I think bisexuality is a lot more prevalent in society than people think, which lends the idea that they could make the choice... hence homosexuality must be a choice because they have a choice to be bisexual... because bisexuality is more prevalent.
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    Dec 21, 2009 6:24 PM GMT
    Really...choose to be ridiculed, threatened, harassed, killed, no rights whatsoever......yeah, I would choose to be gay.....NOT!!!!

    This is not a choice, I was born this way. Everyone is different, no one is the same. The mindset of people is totally remarkable. No one can think for themselves. I have a strong faith in GOD and I believe he made me the way he wanted me to be. So, I wish people would stop believing that this is a choice.


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    Dec 21, 2009 6:26 PM GMT
    fuckwittery at its height.

    Oh, and my brother "chose" to be straight. It´s cos he´s a coward. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • westdave

    Posts: 212

    Dec 21, 2009 6:28 PM GMT
    this idea of "choice" was formulated by heterosexuals....

    heteros. simply don't understand us in this respect...if it was a choice I would have been married and have four children by the time I was 30
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    Dec 21, 2009 6:44 PM GMT
    Again, we are in agreement. Intimacy and desire are the keys to having either a sexual or emotional relationship. The fact that they are programmed in, does not preclude the fact that individuals who have a wider range of selection often make the decision to stay with one or the other sex. In some small cases they choose to continue open relationships or even threesomes. However, these are again all choices based on the range of opportunities programmed into us.

    Even an individual who is programmed for intimacy and desire with a single sex must make a choice as to who they engage in a relationship with across the range of possibilities for them. Alternatively they could choose not to engage in any type of intimate relationships, which some do.

    I think there is a stigma associated with calling the selection of your mate or mates across sexes a choice. The fact that it is to some degree a choice in some small cases does not belittle the idea that it should be equally protected and respected in society. Why should it really matter whether it is a choice or not?

    I want to stress that I do not feel that engaging in same sex relationships is a choice for me but I am not representative of all people.

    ActiveAndFit said
    creyente saidI agree with you ActiveAndFit, but I also think there are individuals who are able to have relationships (not just sex) with both sexes.

    I think both concepts are difficult for people to accept.
    The key here is intimacy and desire which we are biologically programmed to have for the most part the desire to have sex is not chosen, but built into our minds and bodies .. what we are attracted to also is not chosen for the most part.
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    Dec 21, 2009 6:59 PM GMT
    makavelli saidI think bisexuality is a lot more prevalent in society than people think, which lends the idea that they could make the choice... hence homosexuality must be a choice because they have a choice to be bisexual... because bisexuality is more prevalent.



    I agree!!!!
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    Dec 21, 2009 7:02 PM GMT
    Even if it was a choice, if you love anything, say Bjork, or Britney, or whatever, it would be hard to say if you'd like to stop liking them. Same goes for being gay, I guess.
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    Dec 21, 2009 7:04 PM GMT
    If I had that power I would just change the world so that what you do in your bedroom or which consenting adult you give your heart to, doesn't matter.

    I wouldn't agree to being straight knowing that their are 1 million ways that I could be subject to the same prejudices and disdain that being gay subject me. What if I asked to be straight and fell in love with a white woman. I know bi-racial couples and children, it can get pretty discriminatory for them sometimes.

    What if I fell in love with a handicapped woman? Society's changeable waters are not always comforting to them either.

    If I chose to be straight so I could be straight and thus, closer to GOD and Christian society, well what if I feel in love with a Buddhist or a Catholic; what if I fell in love with an Atheist? And, she's unwavering in her faith? Would I turn my back on her so her dedication to her faith wouldn't cast a cloud over mine, especially the curb appeal of mine.

    What if I got lucky and found that devout Christian woman and I was steadfast in my faith too, but our child or children turned out to be gay, unwavering? Would I turn my back on my child so his/her dedication to his/her faith wouldn't cast a cloud over mine, especially the curb appeal of mine.

    People you gotta be steadfast in yourself and who you are.

    Ok, you know I like to do it, creative writing. What if we were all reincarnated before and the question was asked of us, "What would we change to make our life better?"

    What if I had been hopelessly overweight and struggled with it my whole life. As a result, I was treated unkindly in society and was unable to find the love of a devoted spouse. Grasping my chance to be free of it in the next life, "I'd ask to come back and grow up to be handsome, muscular, and never struggle with my weight again." AND I was granted my desire, but one catch, I'm GAY. I am still subject to unkindness from society, maybe at times worse than in my previous life.

    What if I was a hetero man who was evil, bellicose, and lost to love, but always wished to be more sensitive and able to take love without hurting the one who gave it to me. What if I asked to be brought back in no certain terms as a man like that and was brought back GAY. As a result I was happy and free of my past malicious heart, found love, and was able to return it on purpose and without untoward ulterior motives. Would I care that a downside to this new and rewarding life was that parts of society dislike me, not knowing of the evil, hopeless, and destructive heart, my new loving, caring, and compassionate heart sprang from? Would I care and would they be right if they said I was evil?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2009 10:35 PM GMT
    Ignorance is ignorance is ignorance is ignorance

    "A majority f the masses lack an intellectual conscious, and so the live in ignorant bliss, instead of confronting the issue
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 28, 2009 11:00 PM GMT
    Who participant in nthis survey? Straight people? What do you expect.
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    Dec 28, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    I believe people are probably born with certain characteristics that may make it more likely for that person to be gay, but I do not believe someone is "born gay" persay. I guess early childhood determines a lot of what a person is, then teenage and adult years sort of rough out some of those edges.
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    Dec 28, 2009 11:16 PM GMT
    This poll came out about two weeks ago. There were at least 3 threads I can recall discussing this already. I don't know if it's a choice or not.
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    Dec 28, 2009 11:22 PM GMT
    I think If I had a choice, I would be bisexual. I could have the best of both worlds, have a child. I seem to relate to bisexual men better than I do many gay ones.

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    Dec 28, 2009 11:28 PM GMT
    I cant believe the topics that come up on the forums.. deoderant and now this, LOL. I love it
    Well i was always the black sheep of the family, so being gay just fit it....i dabled dating and sex with girls, but when i gravitated towards their brothers... i guess the writing was on the wall.

    I love being with real people, and gay people certainly had no choice but to grow up fast.. and i like being amonst people i admire. .. so i no, i dont think i d be interested to move the suburbs and breed, LOL
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    Dec 29, 2009 12:59 AM GMT
    makavelli saidI think bisexuality is a lot more prevalent in society than people think, which lends the idea that they could make the choice... hence homosexuality must be a choice because they have a choice to be bisexual... because bisexuality is more prevalent.


    I don't believe a bisexual chooses to be bisexual any more than a gay chooses to be gay or a str8 chooses to be str8. If you are attracted to both sexes, that's just the way you are and you better get use to it because you can't change that. You either are bisexaul or you aren't. You can't choose to become bisexual, if you aren't one already. lol
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    Dec 29, 2009 1:08 AM GMT
    Pattison saidI think If I had a choice, I would be bisexual. I could have the best of both worlds, have a child. I seem to relate to bisexual men better than I do many gay ones.



    But don't dream bro. If you aren't bisexual, you can't change that and somehow become bisexual. icon_smile.gif You need to accept who you really are, whether that's gay, bisexual, or str8 because you can't change your sexuality.
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    Dec 29, 2009 1:18 AM GMT
    G_Force said
    Pattison saidI think If I had a choice, I would be bisexual. I could have the best of both worlds, have a child. I seem to relate to bisexual men better than I do many gay ones.



    But don't dream bro. If you aren't bisexual, you can't change that and somehow become bisexual. icon_smile.gif You need to accept who you really are, whether that's gay, bisexual, or str8 because you can't change your sexuality.


    I'm very content with in myself, and have known for a long time I can't change it, and accepted long ago, it's just the way it is.

    But if I had a choice, even though I well know I don't.
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    Dec 29, 2009 1:21 AM GMT
    jlenoconel saidI believe people are probably born with certain characteristics that may make it more likely for that person to be gay, but I do not believe someone is "born gay" persay. I guess early childhood determines a lot of what a person is, then teenage and adult years sort of rough out some of those edges.


    I really don't beleive your childhood can change who you are because if it can, then in a sense you are saying that a family can change the sexuality of their children just by the way they bring their children up. So then you are saying you are gay, not because this is the way you are, but because it's the way you were brought up as a kid by your parents and that this can be controlled and that parents don't have to have gay children, if they bring them up right.