Is it appropriate?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 21, 2009 10:25 PM GMT
    So, I've been talking with a guy for about a month now. We've gone out a couple of times, first 'date' was at a coffee shop, we visited until they were closing. Went met again for lunch and had a great time. Neither of us are big phone talkers, but we communicate throughout the day via text and IM, and have every day. We are going out for dinner and drinks tomorrow before we go our separate ways for the holidays. I was thinking of buying a small gift for him, but don't know if it is appropriate. I am deliberately taking things slow; my last relationship we were nearly to the 'I love you' and spending most nights together by one month. That kind of freaked me out and I regretfully and painfully ended it. It is so much more fun to take things slow, so much more intrigue. We haven't even kissed yet, but he sends me at least five texts a day, every day. I don't think that is normal 'let's just be friends' behavior (which is fine, we have so much in common, and that is the ultimate goal), but more would be nice. Is it out of line to get a small gift for him (book or dvd, along those lines), or is that too much for a guy that you are hitting it off with yet sill haven't had any more affection with than a warm handshake? We are both grad students who have been very busy with school, has kept us from doing more until the semester has ended.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 21, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    It's an appropriate time of year to give some-one a gift.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 21, 2009 10:53 PM GMT
    The first date would have been appropriate. I remember this guy**** brought me a Guilty Gear art book because my sn was Guilty Gear. I thought it was totally cool and thoughtful.
    .......................Faust-isuka-hr.png

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 21, 2009 11:57 PM GMT
    If you are buying a gift for the sake if just giving a gift, then I say no. If you've got a great idea for something you think he'd love, then do it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2009 12:14 AM GMT
    Totally appropriate; at the most you’re building up to a something special, at the least you’re become friends either way…appropriate, as long as it's inexspesive and thoughtfull.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2009 2:34 AM GMT
    Yep, sounds good to me. Also in a non stress moment you should chat a bit about the relationship and what both of you are looking for.......it would be a great way to start a new year.


    Best wishes!
  • bmw0

    Posts: 588

    Dec 22, 2009 3:04 AM GMT
    By all means!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2009 3:26 AM GMT
    If you've gotten to know him enough that you have in mind something you think he would really like then go for it. If you are just fishing for something to give him then give it more time.

    I was once given a tin of Ginger flavor Altoids after having said in passing that I couldn't find them anywhere. It was a very impressive gift and showed that he actually listen to me even when it was mundane chatter. Ginger kisses icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2009 6:53 AM GMT
    Thanks for the advice. I had got a DVD that was relevant to conversation (Dr Strangelove) thinking it was the perfect gift. But, after looking at it, I began to wonder if any gift was too soon. I'm going to go ahead and give it, and post an update. I think my biggest problem is confidence, just waiting to screw up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2009 6:53 AM GMT
    Thanks for the advice. I had got a DVD that was relevant to conversation (Dr Strangelove) thinking it was the perfect gift. But, after looking at it, I began to wonder if any gift was too soon. I'm going to go ahead and give it, and post an update. I think my biggest problem is confidence, just waiting to screw up.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 22, 2009 7:59 AM GMT
    You're adorable Ilmarathonrunner. I don't think you need to worry about "screwing it up".
    Give him the wrapped gift, tell him you saw it and thought of that great conversation you had at the coffee shop, restaurant, wherever, and wanted him to know that he'll be in your thoughts over the holidays.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 22, 2009 8:02 AM GMT
    I was going to suggest getting a book or DVD or CD that has been mentioned in one of your conversations. Shows you listen. And you did icon_smile.gif Good luck with it!
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Dec 22, 2009 8:19 AM GMT
    Asking what is appropriate between gay men is a futile exercise in my experience. I sometimes have no clue what will prompt a man to turn tail and run like a jackrabbit. It doesn't seem to take much. Yet a few guys stick around, at least for a while.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2009 3:34 PM GMT
    Well, the date went great! Went out to eat and visited until the restaurant was closing, then went to a bar for a drink next door until it closed as well. Then, I gave him the Festivus gift which he really seemed to appreciate. He invited me back to his place to watch the movie with him, which I must admit was part of the thought process of giving a movie. Got my first kiss from him! Thanks for the advice everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2009 4:01 PM GMT
    I was hoping this story would end with him riding you waving a cowboy hat, but a kiss is nice too icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2009 4:22 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidI was hoping this story would end with him riding you waving a cowboy hat, but a kiss is nice too icon_biggrin.gif


    Stop projecting, Zombeany.... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2009 4:50 PM GMT
    A simple gift that ties into your conversations, like a book or DVD, would be perfect. While you are apart over the Holidays, a thoughtful little gift like that will make his thoughts turn to you.
  • Puppy80

    Posts: 451

    Dec 23, 2009 5:44 PM GMT
    ILmarathonrunner saidWell, the date went great! Went out to eat and visited until the restaurant was closing, then went to a bar for a drink next door until it closed as well. Then, I gave him the Festivus gift which he really seemed to appreciate. He invited me back to his place to watch the movie with him, which I must admit was part of the thought process of giving a movie. Got my first kiss from him! Thanks for the advice everyone.


    Awwww, I love to hear about these kinds of stories. I'm glad you made the decision to give him the gift.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 23, 2009 5:59 PM GMT
    ILmarathonrunner saidWell, the date went great! Went out to eat and visited until the restaurant was closing, then went to a bar for a drink next door until it closed as well. Then, I gave him the Festivus gift which he really seemed to appreciate. He invited me back to his place to watch the movie with him, which I must admit was part of the thought process of giving a movie. Got my first kiss from him! Thanks for the advice everyone.



    How... CUTE!!

    Keep posting updates, I'd love to know how things progress icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 24, 2009 4:54 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidI was hoping this story would end with him riding you waving a cowboy hat, but a kiss is nice too icon_biggrin.gif


    Um, yeah, that's pretty close to my fantasy. But, I am trying to be on good behavior and see if I have any better luck in the relationship dept. by delaying some gratification. Give me time!