I don't wanna move with my bf after 4 years. Is it abnormal?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 23, 2009 9:37 PM GMT
    We've been together for almost 4 years, and I have to say we are really happy. As with all couples, we've had some issues, but we truly love each other. He's 31, and I'm 26.
    However, we do not live together. He's brought the topic before, but I am hesitant about it. I just graduated from school 1.5 years ago, and I kind of like my freedom at the moment. I don't really see the point of changing things when we both are happy.
    Is this abnormal? How do you guys feel aboit moving in together?
    Thanks
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 23, 2009 9:45 PM GMT
    I don't see anything wrong with not co-habitating if you don't want to. I know a few couples that live together but don't sleep in the same bed.
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    Dec 23, 2009 9:52 PM GMT
    newstudentut saidWe've been together for almost 4 years, and I have to say we are really happy. As with all couples, we've had some issues, but we truly love each other. He's 31, and I'm 26.
    However, we do not live together. He's brought the topic before, but I am hesitant about it. I just graduated from school 1.5 years ago, and I kind of like my freedom at the moment. I don't really see the point of changing things when we both are happy.
    Is this abnormal? How do you guys feel aboit moving in together?
    Thanks

    If he's bringing up the topic, are you so sure he's happy, as you state?
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    Dec 23, 2009 10:34 PM GMT
    He doesn't bring it up or pushes the issue. All he's sad his something like: I'd like to move in w u sometime in the future.
    As far as happiness, we actually talk about and work through any issues that doesn't make either of is happy. He's has clearly stated that he's happy w me. icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 24, 2009 3:11 AM GMT
    I can totally understand that you want to stand on your own 2 feet for a while longer. Having your own place, your own money and all on your own time.

    Moving in with each other is a big step, my bf and I did it after 6 years of long-distance relationship. Now 10 years later I couldn't imagine living without him, however sometimes I miss my freedom of living by myself.

    Even though it is not the same, have the 2 of you been on vacations together? Did it work?

    You could also give it a trial run by staying together at either your or his place for a couple of weeks. Afterwards you can make a more informed choice about what you want to do.
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 24, 2009 4:06 PM GMT
    I'd hesitate to say that something like that is abnormal. At the same time, however, it sounds like he's hinting at taking the relationship to another level of closeness. Just keep up the good communication, because he will likely need your assurance that your interest in holding on to your freedom, as you said, does not mean that you are not invested in the relationship.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 24, 2009 4:32 PM GMT
    i'll never do another 24/7 relationship. i enjoy my privacy and do not take offense in others that are the same way.

    fortunately i have found a guy who feels the same way I do. er get together for the afternoon or the evening, ocassionally stay in the his or my house over the weekend...but by sunday evening i am more than ready to be alone, as he is also.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2009 1:03 AM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREQUOTE GOES HERE


    for how long has it works for you?
    that's kind of how our relationship works, but we probably spend 4/7 nights together. Usually stay alone on Sunday night to do laundry, unless desperate housewives in on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2009 1:05 AM GMT
    I like being alone and privacyicon_cool.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2009 1:27 AM GMT
    Whether it's normal or not, that's how you apparently feel.

    So the real objective should be to answer some vital questions:

    1) Does this stem from some sort of fundamental issue between the two of you?

    2) How important is it to your boyfriend that you eventually move in together?

    3) I notice you bring up the age gap - are you as serious about this relationship as he is?

    If you can answer those, I think you know how it'll go. Myself, I'd kill to have someone I loved to wake up to. But diff'rent strokes . . .

    newstudentut saidWe've been together for almost 4 years, and I have to say we are really happy. As with all couples, we've had some issues, but we truly love each other. He's 31, and I'm 26.
    However, we do not live together. He's brought the topic before, but I am hesitant about it. I just graduated from school 1.5 years ago, and I kind of like my freedom at the moment. I don't really see the point of changing things when we both are happy.
    Is this abnormal? How do you guys feel aboit moving in together?
    Thanks
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    Maybe you are a saggitarius!!!! A true saggitarius loves his freedom!!! Ever thought of that?? lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2010 1:59 AM GMT
    frenchatheart saidMaybe you are a saggitarius!!!! A true saggitarius loves his freedom!!! Ever thought of that?? lol


    Dude, this was from a year ago.