ever been stood up on a date?

  • yvrtwink

    Posts: 35

    Dec 25, 2009 5:39 AM GMT
    Ok, so recently I was stood up on a date. I was really confused as to what the real reason was that he didn't show, as he is the one who wanted to get to know me, and seemed excied to meet up. Have you ever made a date with someone and not shown up, if so, why?
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 25, 2009 9:21 AM GMT
    Only once. I made a date with someone from a personal ad (in the time before Internet) to meet for dinner at a certain restaurant about 1 mile away in Chicago's Boystown. I got all dressed up and started walking there and the heavens opened up and positively drenched me. Even my dress shoes could not have absorbed more if they'd wanted to. About half-way there, I gave up and turned around. I was uncomfortable and now miserable and knew that, in my mood, there was no way I could graciously show up, excuse myself and reschedule.

    I called him when I got home to explain. Of course, he had stayed to eat and I had to leave a message. He wasn't happy about it, but he was interested enough to give me a second chance. We were together for nearly two years.
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    Dec 25, 2009 9:54 AM GMT
    haha - mostly! Why? You mean there's a way to find out why?
    These are just coffee dates and I think it's too much of a commitment - they really just want sex. So I have two new practices for these things, 1st - I have decided to give them another chance if they contact me, even if it's weeks later. I figure that being gay, they are socially and sexually retarded, but it's not their fault. They were raised in a culture that doesn't want them to exist, so they are understandably conflicted. 2nd - I need to talk on the phone first. Guys who are willing to talk on the phone usually show up. Texter/emailers crap out.
    For those of us who are mature, decent guys it helps to keep expectations down to a minimum. TRY (ugh) to keep a sense of humor and a positive attitude icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 25, 2009 2:09 PM GMT
    Have cancelled a date but always let the guy know well in advance. But have been stood up once and it sucks. Plus this was the third date and he didn't even call, I texted him to which he replied he is really sick. So can't even get mad. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 25, 2009 3:14 PM GMT
    I have never been stood up.

    Nor have I ever stood anyone up

    I have called to cancel though.

    People who do the stood up things are just "cowardly savages" that need to be put down
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 25, 2009 3:51 PM GMT
    Nope ....
    Not yet
  • italguynj

    Posts: 250

    Dec 25, 2009 3:56 PM GMT
    more times than I can count
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    Dec 26, 2009 9:12 PM GMT
    I've never been stood up on a date, nor have I ever stood up anyone. I was, however, blown off via an email message. It's a very cowardly way to handle things.

    Shawn
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    Dec 27, 2009 12:28 AM GMT
    Just recently, actually....I had been communicating with a nice young man for a couple of weeks, and we made a date to meet at a local Borders bookstore in a certain spot. I waited over an hour....no show.

    I e-mailed him after I got home and asked him what happened.....he said he came by the Borders and saw me, got cold feet and went back home. "I'm sorry, I just didn't realize you were such a big guy, and I guess I got scared" he said.

    He had seen all of my pics and stats...it's not like my height and stature was a secret or anything. Anyway, he begged me for a second chance. I have yet to get back in touch with him......yes, I guess I'm kinda pissed.
  • pure_motion

    Posts: 156

    Dec 27, 2009 12:45 AM GMT
    I thought I was once. I was meant to meet him outside a movie 45 minutes before it started. I bought my ticket once I got there, to save time, but he never showed. So when he didn't come I was pretty pissed but went into the movie anyway, because I'd paid. He eventually showed up half way through the movie with many apologies about his alarm blah blah blah...
    He turned out to be really creepy, and I would've been better off if he didn't show up.
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    Dec 27, 2009 12:50 AM GMT
    BIGBLKBDYBLDR saidJust recently, actually....I had been communicating with a nice young man for a couple of weeks, and we made a date to meet at a local Borders bookstore in a certain spot. I waited over an hour....no show.

    I e-mailed him after I got home and asked him what happened.....he said he came by the Borders and saw me, got cold feet and went back home. "I'm sorry, I just didn't realize you were such a big guy, and I guess I got scared" he said.

    He had seen all of my pics and stats...it's not like my height and stature was a secret or anything. Anyway, he begged me for a second chance. I have yet to get back in touch with him......yes, I guess I'm kinda pissed.


    Give him a second chanceicon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 27, 2009 1:12 AM GMT
    Yes...several times

    One of the last times I stood around anxiously waiting for him to show and checking my phone every 5 mins that the girl at the coffee place asked me out after about an hour and 3 lattes .... God am I that pathetic icon_neutral.gif
  • yvrtwink

    Posts: 35

    Dec 27, 2009 3:18 AM GMT
    I'll give him credit, he did message me 20 mins after we were supposed to meet saying he forgot, but I can't see how anyone can 'forget' about a date. Should I give him another chance?
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    Dec 27, 2009 4:02 AM GMT
    Yvrtwink saidI'll give him credit, he did message me 20 mins after we were supposed to meet saying he forgot, but I can't see how anyone can 'forget' about a date. Should I give him another chance?


    I'm a little frosty about things like that, so I'd say no. My friends would be inclined to give him a chance to redeem himself, but not necessarily by setting another date. If he wants to give it a whirl, he'll put the effort into it.

    But I gotta say, forgetting he had a date with you doesn't really say much about his character.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2009 4:04 AM GMT
    Yeah, who hasn't been stood up on a date before?! hehe

    I think it builds character...haha lol

    Seriously, it does happen to everyone, for a variety of reasons.

  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Dec 27, 2009 4:12 AM GMT
    jimbobthedevil said
    Yvrtwink saidI'll give him credit, he did message me 20 mins after we were supposed to meet saying he forgot, but I can't see how anyone can 'forget' about a date. Should I give him another chance?


    I'm a little frosty about things like that, so I'd say no. My friends would be inclined to give him a chance to redeem himself, but not necessarily by setting another date. If he wants to give it a whirl, he'll put the effort into it.

    But I gotta say, forgetting he had a date with you doesn't really say much about his character.



    I usually give people three chances to mess up, out of fairness..

    But usually, the first time is a good indication for how the second and third times will go.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Dec 27, 2009 4:13 AM GMT
    I've never actually been stood up in the sense where I was supposed to meet someone someplace and I was waiting, and they didn't show.

    But I have had one or two guys cancel on me three hours after we were supposed to hang out... I suppose that counts.
  • germanguy888

    Posts: 208

    Dec 27, 2009 4:25 AM GMT
    yep i have. i waited for well over an hour for this guy and he never showed...nor did he tell me why he didn't come...he just simply cut off all contact until i IMed him...and then he still didn't tell me he just ignored me...oh well icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 27, 2009 7:42 AM GMT
    I've made internet dates for coffee and been stood up a few times. I think it's something to chalk up to the nature of online guys. For some of them, If they were really good at social interaction, they wouldn't be online in the first place.

    Still sucks though.
  • cdnclub

    Posts: 79

    Dec 29, 2009 8:26 PM GMT
    I have been stood up many many many times. One time I was stood up 5 times in a row by different people. Now I bring a book with me when I am meeting someone for a date. lol..My general rule is to wait 15min for ppl who live in town, and 1/2hour for ppl out of town. There is never a good reason for not picking up the cell phone and letting someone know that you're going to be late or can't show.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 8:42 PM GMT
    yeah, there's no excuse in a call or a text PRIOR to the date saying that they can't make it. it's plain rude. i wouldn't give it a second chance either.
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    Dec 29, 2009 8:59 PM GMT
    When it's all said & done, there are guys who do that kind of thing because they're nothing more than paltry, chickenshit cowards without a backbone. They feel as if it makes them feel like men to play with peoples time & emotions. It can either make you a better person or turn you into a complete SNOB. A simple statement to put an end to getting stood up:

    If you can diss this, baby, you can miss this.
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    Dec 29, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    There are probably as many excuses for flaking out and standing someone up as there are for the creeps that do that. I've only had it happen a couple times. The most recent time the guy said he was walking over to my place and got assaulted by a homeless person who was angry that my " date " didn't have any money for him. Funny....never talked to the guy on the phone and haven't heard back since he emailed me the lame excuse. Eventually figured out the guy was a fake ( someone else's pics etc ) and had been playing games with other guys online. It was never meant to be a love connection but I cracked up when I heard his story..Kinda like John Belushi in Blues Brothers when he gave his ex girlfriend a million excuses for not showing up at the wedding ( flat tire, great flood, terrible earthquake, etc ) icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 29, 2009 9:05 PM GMT
    yeah that just happened to me recently...it sucks...it makes you feel worthless, but hey if the dissed you then they werent worth it in the first place.
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    Dec 29, 2009 9:05 PM GMT
    jawrhed said I have decided to give them another chance if they contact me, even if it's weeks later. I figure that being gay, they are socially and sexually retarded, but it's not their fault.

    How could it not be their fault? It doesn't require any training in etiquette to figure out that if you've agreed to meet someone it's unfair to them to just not show up. If you treat this as acceptable behavior you will indeed be enabling him to remain socially retarded.
    Someone who once stood me up had the nerve to call 2 weeks later and suggest we get together. He seemed surprised by my irate response and said he just forgot. I suppressed the urge to make another date and "forget" to appear. He got a simple NO instead.